Family Guy MeS Edition
by savior94
Summary: After the shocking wedding, the adventures of the Griffins wasn't finished, because to shock their lifes was the newly wife Meg Griffin than is pregnant, and for real. Salvatore, Meg and her family will try to make you laugh thanks to the craziest adventures and gags. Stay here for Family Guy MeS Edition.
1. A Shocking Beginning

In a town called Quahog, Rhode Island, precisely in Spooner Street, everything was back as it was before, since two months ago a purple monster trying to conquer it  
Everything was as usual, but only one thing, however, was changed, the Griffins house was enlarged of an another roommate, the new husband of the daughter of the householder  
The boss, or rather, Peter Griffin, was sitting with his family watching television as usual but his daughter named Meg was not there, she was up in her room to do one of her usual things, but the result will be different this time...  
"Oh my god!" shouted the girl from her room doing scare everyone below  
The great householder turned around and asked with his tone  
"What's going on there?"  
"I'm going to check..." said the new element of the family got up from where he was and going in the direction toward the stairs very worried  
"Go ahead, we aren't so much interested after all" to say it was a baby with a head not quite in the right shape, Stewie  
Salvatore, Meg's husband, not really habituate to that family life, ran to her room to find her terrified to the ground but also a bit happy and he asked to her  
"Sweetey are you alright, what's wrong?" he helped her get up but she felt in an another way  
I am pregnant... I'm pregnant... said her in her mind excited by the idea of be it  
"I am..." but hearing her talk, the Italian asked to her looking into her eyes  
"You're what? Please don't tell me you're cut again your veins?"  
*flashback*  
In this flashback Meg was in her room that she was crying for an unknown reason but after a while, she said, referring to the camera  
"How do I have to say, I don't do these things, nevermore, go away!"  
*end flashback*  
"No, hum... " she couldn't say that, she didn't have the courage to tell him that...  
"Please, you have to tell it to me, but if is something of woman you may don't say it"  
While her husband leaned forward on the window, she reluctantly took courage, and after a moment she told him  
"Okay, I made another one of those pregnancy tests, and surprise, its positive"  
"And s... so..." Salvatore's legs began to tremble like leaves while Meg finished the words, happy as ever  
"We're gonna be mom and dad, aren't you happy?" but Salvatore for the amazement fainted and fell from the open window from which he had leaned making a tremendous head thud  
Everybody in the house noticed the crash but the most shocked of all was the wife of him than asking taking a look  
"Salvatore, are you okay?"  
The others below, after hearing that noise, they decided to send the housewife Lois than went upstairs to check but her was pushed by Meg than ran quickly down the stairs that was nearly thrown away  
"Hey wait young lady, where are you running?!" shouted, but the other had already left home, and without listening to the mother, she went to Salvatore, now unconscious  
"Salvatore, love, answer me?" she tried to shake him to revive him but he didn't answer, so she began to look for help  
"Help, I need a doctor!"  
Suddenly Peter, dressed as a doctor, he appeared there and asked to her  
"Hello, there's something wrong, you aren't feel good old lady?"  
"Hey dad, don't joke, Salvatore was fallen from the window, now help me to take him to the hospital!" shouted her indignantly, but her father took a box of tools from nothing for do something  
"Then it will be the case to operate him..." but all he received was a furious outcry from her  
"DAD!"  
"Okay okay, but I will transport him with the pliers" and he really took him with them out of the sight.  
At Quahog's Hospital, all the Griffins were waiting for a doctor who told them good news  
After half an hour, they saw a man with black hair, black mustache, and with a somewhat silly look  
"Sorry, I was emptying the intestine, well, your friend, partially is fine, apart..."  
"Apart what?" Meg asked with a worrying tone  
"It seems than he don't remember his password for his account, oops, I meant your names"  
Lois, holding her hands alone, she said  
"Maybe is..."  
"See yourself"  
The doctor invited them to enter the room, and as soon as they entered, Meg hugged his beloved in the hospital bed but he pushed her away like if she was a stranger  
"Excuse me, Dr. Hartman, who is she, and who are these, are they thieves?" Salvatore asked, shocking all the Griffins  
There was a moment of silence, and Brian was the first to break it  
"Oh god, he lost the memory!"  
The girl with brown hair was on the verge of despair and said  
"No, how do you not recognize us? I'm your sweetey, and we're married!"  
In response, her husband said curt  
"You're lying, I do not know you at all, and then we cannot be married, you look like a dried steam ravioli in the garbage of my house"  
*flashback*  
In the Faminoso's house, everyone was to attend to their chores and ravioli tossed in the trash shouted so many times trying to get noticed than a passing black dog urinated on it and he fainted  
*end flashback*  
After the hallucinating flashback, the doctor told to them  
"Well, now I should talk to the patient alone, go!"  
"Wait, but we want to stay here trying to get him to recover the memory" Peter said with a hint of sarcasm and suddenly took Salvatore for the gown and shook him  
"Get well, you still churning out monstriece for us!"  
Instinctively the boy shouted desperately  
"Help, police!"  
The doctor sent them all out in some way and talked with Salvatore now traumatized  
"Well, you dear boy, you've lost your memory, but within a week you'll remember everybody, even your credit card number, oops, I mean your wife"  
Meanwhile in a different place, precisely in a pharmacy, the Goldman's pharmacy, a nerdy guy with glasses and spots in the face was about to kill himself because of his love dream ended now into pieces  
"Without her I no longer have a purpose in life, I decide to go to the sky, goodbye!" and after writing it in a sheet, he put a condom in his mouth thinking it was a gun and he tried to press the trigger that wasn't there but his lookalike father stopped him just in time by taking the tool  
"Neil, but what were you doing with that thing huh?" he was furious, even though he had a spitting voice like his son  
"Well dad, I decided to end this unnecessary suffering, so goodbye!"  
Neil took another of that, but his father has preceded him  
"Don't use that, it doesn't need to commit suicide, and then, why should you do it?" he said, putting the condom in his place  
"Why do you say, well, because my only life reason is gone away, and now it's better if you let me kill!" shouted desperately with tears in his eye "glasses"  
"Just because that girl is married another guy doesn't mean that you have to commit suicide. You will find another one that you will like"  
The son answered him with a desperate tone  
"Yeah, sure, who would love a stupid loser like me, huh?"  
"There's that girl of the shop next to here than thinks you're attractive, give her a chance!" the camera then moved to the girl in question that greeting him  
"No, that is only one that stabs you behind, certainly not her..."  
Neil, sad, he sat down on the floor with his hands on his cheeks and his father thought an another solution  
"Try to join in a meeting site, perhaps maybe..."  
"This isn't necessary, I spare this torture by ending me" the boy got up and took a pill from the shelf and swallowed it  
"What are you doing? That doesn't need to die!"  
"God, why don't you want me in paradise, why?" and he knelt weeping bitterly  
The Jew father goes away doubtfully while his son was still taking suicide with a cough syrup.  
Out of surgery with his family, Peter was trying to console his daughter, under claim of Lois, now fallen into tears, meanwhile Chris was playing a portable video game and wasn't concern at least to all that  
Meg, annoyed, took the game and threw him to a doctor who angrily pushed his patient and made him fall down the stairs that led to another doctor and to chain all the hospital was involved until a baby was cut his umbilical cord by a pen  
"Oh damn, it was my favorite game!" the boy exclaimed indignantly crossing his arms and making fish lips  
"Meg, I think he'll never recover again and you'll get divorced. In a few month or so you will need to find another guy like you, with no legs so as not to get away from you, no mouth so as not to scream at the sight of your body, and..."  
"Peter!" Lois shouted, stopping him and the housekeeper said, taking off his guilty  
"Sorry, I'm just trying to calm an erupting volcano"  
Meg, after she finished crying, wiped her eyes with her arm and said firmly  
"I must go to him!" and she ran off under everyone's gaze  
"Meg, wait!" Brian tried to stop her but Stewie stopped him and said  
"Brian, let her go, so she will end like a sloth at the funeral of a cheetah"  
*start scene*  
A sloth, knowing of his friend's funeral, he got up from his branch sad and tried to walk to the cemetery but when he arrived there, he became the dead man's funeral  
"Too bad, he'll finally be together with his friend" said a turtle in the sloth's funeral, praying  
*end scene*  
To the operating room...  
"I told you than I don't know you, and that's that!" said the unfortunate Italian to a Meg now exhausted  
"Please, you must believe me, I'm your wife, we got married two months ago and now... I..."  
Salvatore turned from bed and said grumpy  
"If I remember you at this time I wouldn't be telling you this, but for me now you're just a stranger, get out!"  
"Oh, Salvatore..."  
She didn't know what to do, so she tried to kiss him somehow but unfortunately the doctor came there  
"Now you can... hey, what are you doing here?!"  
She, furious, replied  
"I'm his wife and I have the right to be here!"  
"Okay... look, you could bring it home to make him take back the memory?"  
The doctor, called Hartman, he put something on a desk and continued  
"I can't get into his account, sorry, I mean I can't get him to resume the memory alone"  
The Italian patient, to heard him, exclaimed in Italian  
"Cosa, devo andare a casa di questa psicopatica?"  
Salvatore was about to lose patience, but the doctor replied quickly  
"Yes, bye bye!"  
Meg and the doctor suddenly took Salvatore in an inappropriate way and they took him to the anxious family and Hartman immediately warned them  
"Griffins, now you can take him home, but be careful, it could be unpredictable"  
"Be done, doctor" replied the great Peter and he imprisoned Salvatore in a cage for animals just for its size appeared from nowhere  
"Help, there's someone here who is not crazy or mad?!" begged the poor boy, wriggling  
"And remember, don't try to give him the chocolate, I recommend it!"  
*flashback*  
An hour earlier, Salvatore was awakened by the smell of a chocolate bar placed near the nose by the doctor, but in reaction he eating it biting his hand like a rabid dog  
"Ouch, watch out!"  
*end flashback*  
Neil, the next day, he was still alive, and was walking depressed thinking how to commit suicide  
He tried first to go on a demolition building, but the building committed suicide at the reverse side, then he tried to hang himself, but a good cat helped him and then hanged himself in his place, causing the despair of a dog, and then tried to die entering in the Peter's car, you know why, but suddenly the nerd changed his mind  
"Enough, I must conquer it; I don't want to have another disappointment like that guy who wanted to join the gang of Maniacs"  
*start scene*  
"So, if you want to be one of us, you have to throw there, understand?" said a black haired boy than was the leader of the gang  
"Yeah!"  
The poor boy jumped fully clothed into the pool of putrid water of the landfill and he seems happy but disgusted, but his happiness turned into disappointment when the boss said  
"Ugh, I tricked you, hey guys come here, we have a sewer troll, hahaha!" and he calls all his gang, and they laughed out loud with the clips on their nose while the poor guy came out all soaked, disappointed and smelly that even the garbage became animated and covered his nose from the stench.  
*end scene*  
At Griffins' home, all except Chris went upstairs to discuss how to find a solution to Salvatore's amnesia  
Chris meanwhile, after took a strange suitcase from his room, he freed the unfortunate boy from the cage and said seriously  
"Come on, if you want to resume your memory, you must first remember who you are"  
"But I remember who I am, I'm..." he looked down, not even remembering what he called  
The fat blond, after opening the mysterious suitcase that contained strange dangerous tools, answered  
"Well, your name's Salvadore Faciccoso or somethin' like that, I think"  
"Listen, I want to hear to your nonsense and those of your crazy family, but now I have to go, b..." then he tried to open the door but it was locked  
"I can't, first we'll have to try to make you remember everything. Let's try with this"  
Chris took a silver baseball bat and prepared to strike him but Salvatore shouted scared  
"HELP!"  
He was shouting so much that was bothering Chris, and at the end he hit him in the head so hard that he fainted  
"Well, now you'll be quiet while I now use this" he put down the bat and took a shotgun and loaded it as if nothing happened  
Lois, worried about the noise, she go downstairs and shouted to the boy with the weapon  
"Chris, what are you doing?!"  
Nervous, he hid the gun behind him and answered  
"Mom, well, I'm trying to heal him on my way!"  
"Don't do this, first you must try to do it with the good ones and not the bad ones..." but Salvatore recovered from the blow and shouted loudly to the four winds  
"Help, these people wants to kill me!"  
Suddenly, the housewife Lois took a pan from the suitcase and also hit him knocking him out again  
"Oh, sorry" and she went running up to the stairs.  
Passed an hour, Salvatore, still under amnesia, he trying to get out secretly of the house in some way  
"Come on, I have to get away of these mad men with their scenes that appearing out of nowhere" but he was later discovered by Peter who kindly told him holding two bottles of Pawtucket, the Quahog's beer, just coming out of the fridge  
"Look, man, we got off on the wrong foot, why not we start from zero, uh?"  
The boy was confused but also scared as his wife's father continued  
"We can do something together, like drinking a good beer, what do you say?" he gave him one, but he replied, shifting it from the view  
"Not to offend you sir, but I do not like beer" but while the boy tried to open the door in vain Peter took him by the jacket and threatened him with his fist furiously  
"I tried with the good ones but they didn't work, now it's the time of the bad ones, I'll do you what happened to that guy of s..." but while the man tried to strike a blow and start a scene, the dog Brian arrived just in time saying  
"Oh god Peter, leave him!"  
"Why...?"  
"Pleas, I know how to make him recover the memory, c'mon, leave him" and Peter followed the order and Salvatore sudden react screaming  
"Aaah, a talking dog!"  
"Look, I know that I speak and dance, but here it isn't so strange, so take it easy, okay?"  
Meanwhile, the young nerd was going to Meg's house, decided not to give up and accidentally found her thinking in the alley  
"Good, what I have to do is ask her for a dinner and then everything will be fine braced himself, greeted her, but she didn't answer  
"Hey Meg?"  
Finally, after three attempts, she answered him, but it wasn't a response worthy of her  
"Go to hell!" and went irritated towards the house leaving Neil depressed and embittered  
"Why did you do that Meg, and why it doesn't happen to that of the pizzeria in the alley who works only thanks to his thin girlfriend like a pencil?!"  
*start scene*  
A pizza chef was do his job and his girlfriend, a model so anorexic makes even envy the models, was to incite him, but seems to stress him  
"Come on, come on, I'm hungry and also the people are hungry, hurry up, I need protein and also that people need protein, and run, here falls night!"  
He finished to preparing a pizza and after baking it he exclaimed desperately  
"WHY ME!"  
*end scene*  
The nerd took a strange pill and swallowed it, thinking that is a sedative pill while Salvatore at home had sat on the floor now scared by the talking dog  
So, we must to reconnect the memory damaged by the blow, in this way"  
Brian took something and calm he comes close to the poor boy now ready to wet himself  
"What are you doing to me, kill me?!"  
"No, not kill you..."  
The dog showed him a photo that was hanging on the wall, showing the Griffin family with him after that fateful marriage that had taken place two months ago  
"Hey wait, but this, this is me..."  
Suddenly his mind opened, making him remember all of them, one after the other, or almost...  
"Sure, but this is me, you, Chris, Stewie, Peter, Lois, and this one, sorry, who the hell is?"  
Those words stunned the white dog, than said to Peter  
"Oh my god, he doesn't remember Meg!"  
"So much better, because I start to not take it anymore" and the man went away furiously throwing the beers to the ground breaking them and they shouted out in pain  
"Help!"  
"Brian, what's wrong with Peter?" asked Salvatore confused  
The dog didn't have time to talk than Meg opened surprisingly the door having heard the word remember and she ran from her beloved  
"Finally you remember me, really, really?"  
Suddenly, the Italian got up and walked away from her as if ignoring her, but before she did something, a picture ended up on her head making her lose consciousness.  
The next day, Meg and Brian went to Salvatore's room that was locked in his cage and was eating hamster food and Brian opened it taking him out  
"Hi Salvatore, I and her want you to come with us without running away, are you in?"  
"Sure, but a question Brian, who is she, Gollum?" he asked him intimidated, and Meg replied "cordially"  
"Well, I'm your friend, Salvatore, and come on, the journey awaits us!"  
Greeted the others, the three walked out of the house and while they walked on foot, Meg whispered to Brian one thing  
"Are you sure your plan works?"  
"Sure, do you remember that I was also a psychologist?"  
*flashback*  
The dog here was recovering into a local a nervous guy with suit and tie and asked to him  
"So, you killed the whole family and ate their hearts?"  
"Yep"  
"Then it will be the case..." and Brian bit him in the lower parts making him scream loud  
After pulled away he said, like if nothing had happened  
"Okay, now you are healed"  
*end flashback*  
"Yes, but Brian, why he still doesn't remember me?"  
"I have no idea, maybe there is something blocking your memory, I hope it doesn't this, or you're fucked"  
The Italian after that asked curious and happy  
"So Brian what do we do, fishing, competing to see who jumps higher, barking?"  
"None of this, we go to a nice place"  
They continued to walk but before they reached their destination they met a person known to them, but strangely unknown to Salvatore, who asked to them  
"Oh hi Meg, and, hi Salvatore and Brian, why are you walking around here?"  
"Go away Neil!" answered Meg sour  
"Why do you answer me like that, don't you know than is bad education for a couple about to get engaged?" gallant, the nerd walked over to Meg's face in an attempt to kiss her but she pushed him away  
"Well, I was walking around here looking to end it, but then I found that you were strolling along with your hubby"  
"Look, we have to do, we have to go to heal his amnesia..."  
"Damn!" exclaimed then Meg  
"What, you don't remember Meg?" Neil pointed to the Italian with surprised look, and after he looked around, Salvatore replied, pointing himself  
"Are you referring this question to me?"  
How did it happen, I don't understand. Maybe I can use this to my advantage  
"Wow, I'm sorry for your husband, if there is anything I can do to help, tell me as well" Neil said with a gallant accent as he was fixing his hair and was taking off his hat  
"Sure, get out of our sight!" Meg and the two walked in, but the other stopped her asking something  
"Can I come with you at least?"  
"No, let's go guys" and motioned Brian and Salvatore to come  
"Please, can I at least invite you to a dinner tonight?"  
"Two words, No Thanks!"  
The three went away leaving Neil strangely furious  
"You cannot escape my charm, you can't!" he said taking a pill similar to that of before changing expression on his face  
Eventually, the three arrived at their destination; it was a church, but not a common church...  
"Well, here we are" Brian said, pointing at the building in question  
"Bah, a church, but why did we come here?" Salvatore asked confused  
Meg said emotionally  
"This is not a normal church, and where we got married, don't you remember?"  
*flashback*  
After the mother returned after so long, the bride with her brown hair finally said now calm to the priest  
"Yes, I do!"  
The priest, however, didn't react well to this  
"Finally, it will take all this time, black c**k!"  
He was going to punch her, but after he recovered and settled down  
*end flashback*  
"Now Meg, you'll have to kiss him, so he'll remember you, at least I think..." but Salvatore, outraged, disagreed with the idea  
"What, should I kiss her? But if don't even know her!"  
"I'm Peter's daughter, come on, how you can't remember me?!" she exclaimed exasperated  
"No, I only know that Peter has sons as I remember"  
"Oh crap, it's worse of that dyslexic horse without friends" Brian exclaimed, starting the scene  
*start scene*  
"Hey, it's not that someone can tell me how to write written, nobody?" he spoke while a group of people than passing didn't notice him until he took the pen and threw it away and went babbling.  
*end scene*  
Meanwhile Meg said after the scene before  
"Let's get going"  
She dragged Salvatore pulling him by the arm until they reached exactly on the altar  
"Here we go, Meg, do what you have to do"  
The girl with the pink cap, excitedly, tried to kiss him but an opening the door interrupted her, it was the duty nuisance, furious than ever  
"Stop!"  
All three looked at him and saw that he had a wooden club and had a psychopathic look  
"Meg Griffin, if you don't want me, you will have no one else!"  
It was Neil, with that weapon she was going to hurt her.  
"Are you crazy? Don't try to do anything stupid!" she shouted, but Neil began to run in an attempt to hit her  
Brian in the meantime had an idea and he pushed Salvatore in front of Meg  
"Go, protect your wife!"  
Salvatore positioned himself just in time to suffer a full blow on the head by the nerd and protect her; the effect was quick but painful...  
"B-But what are thinking into your mind, Neil... hey, now I remember you, leave her alone!"  
"Oh no, he reminds her, now I have to kill you!" he tried to hit him again with the club but Brian quickly hit him with his fist knocking him out  
The painful Italian massaged his head and thanked him  
"Thanks Brian, I didn't want to dirty my hands with that nerd Meg lover, but who is this Meg?"  
Brian pointed at her as she was tearing happily and the Italian said confused  
"She, but then..."  
"Yes..." and suddenly she kissed him making him remember everything, even past and present events  
Finished to kissing him, Meg waited anxiously for an answer and Salvatore turned his eyes, scratched his head, and then asked  
"Sweetey, what are we doing here?"  
Meg jumped for joy and hugged him so hard that in comparison she was crushing him like a rope  
"Hey, what are you doing, maybe I miss you?" he asked with effort but nobody said nothing, not even the dog that was hiding the nerd's body somewhere  
"Brian, at least you answer me!"  
Back to home, the three were greeted by an emotional Lois, and Salvatore spoke first  
"Hi Mrs. Griffin, we're fine, but if you don't mind, Meg and I have to go upstairs for a moment"  
"Oh, she finally got back" she said, looking at the two jumps upstairs  
"Yeah, and there isn't even needed a psychiatrist"  
Hearing the words of Brian, the little Stewie came down the stairs and greeted him  
"Brian, here you are, I was thinking, How did it go, have you eaten him, tortured him, or crushed him and thrown him into the sea?"  
"No, he's back to normal" he replied, making him exclaim  
"Damn it!"  
"Thanks Brian, all is well that ends well..." the housewife, however, was interrupted by the arrival of Peter who spoke with his annoyed tone  
"Crap, now I'll have to stand him for so, long time"  
"Yeah Peter, for a long, long, time" Brian said happily  
Upstairs, meanwhile, Meg said to Salvatore the announcement of the day before, but this time he didn't react badly and tearfully hugged her  
"Wow, well, I have never been so happy, when we want to tell the others?"  
"Soon, you'll see..."  
Soon after, the whole family was in the living room sitting on the couch except the two lovebirds that were holding hands  
"I have an announcement to say, I discussed it first with Salvatore and now I'll tell you"  
Peter tried to guess  
"Your husband will go away to home?"  
"No, and that..." she then looked Salvatore who gestured with his head yes and she continued  
"I'm pregnant!"  
The father, after three seconds of absolute calm, took Salvatore and Meg and throws them out of the home by the window with an incredible strength upsetting all  
"Peter!" Lois shouted to him  
"Hehe, sorry... " and he went out of the house to take them back cursing in a low voice  
"Good, everything it has solved for the better, but it seems I forgot something, or maybe someone" Brian said in an attempt to remember  
In the church meanwhile, Neil had recovered from the blow, and he was confused and disoriented  
"Hey, there is no one, I know that I'm doing here and who I am, there is someone?!" **END**


	2. Clam n' Betting

This episode began in a shabby local, called the Drunken' Clam, and inside there were among all four people, one with a big belly, one with a big chin, one with a great sense of humor, and one with a big problem to the legs, and they were in their usual table to enjoy their usual but irresistible beer and to spend time talking about strange arguments, and the next in the list will not be different from the others, maybe...  
"Your daughter is pregnant?" exclaimed those words with the big chin, called by all Quagmire  
"Exactly, even though I would like to know what can get out of there, maybe a goblin with big eyes and no arms" said the fat Peter making appear the scene  
*start scene*  
A clumsy Goblin was chasing a child for eat him but the child went into a slit and the monster used his arms that he didn't have to try to take him but then he felt let down  
"What a pity, I was hungry..." but the prey exclaimed pointing his finger against him deriding him  
"Ha-Ha!"  
*end scene*  
"Don't be stupid Peter, you should be happy, finally you're about to become a grandfather!" he told the black man with great sense of humor and named Cleveland  
The disabled, confused, sipped his beer and said  
"But how did it happen, let's tell the truth, your daughter isn't a good-looking... you know"  
Their fatter friend answered a little intimidated after drinking even him a bit of beer  
"I suspect than that guy, Salvatore, is a crazy guy, who knows how his face was when, hum, when he saw..."  
There was a moment of disturbing silence, and while the four looked at each other, his friend Joe asked  
"But you don't yet know the sex your nephew?"  
"Not yet, but it would be freakin' awesome if it were like me, in every sense..."  
*start scene*  
Peter imagined in a scene that Meg gave birth at the hospital gave birth to a mini-Peter, and after that the doctors had cleaned him and brought him to her the infant made a fart in her face with his ass and then he laughed like his grandfather.  
*end scene*  
At the home of the fat Peter meanwhile, his daughter, Salvatore, husband of her daughter, and Chris were to try some toy of the little brother Stewie when all suddenly the girl began to feel ill and immediately ran to the bathroom, she knelt down and began to throw up in the toilet  
"Oh god, what happens to me...!" she exclaimed disgustedly  
The mother named Lois worried and attracted by the situation ran to her and asked her worried  
"Oh my god Meg, are you all right?"  
"No mom, I feel like I had a dragon that spit fire everywhere and was irritating my stomach"  
*start scene*  
It all started inside a body, a purple dragon with yellow scales was blowing on the walls to burn only a dragonfly who liked to make angry him by making her tongues out  
"Die bitch!" but he won't could never hit her, and never will.  
*end scene*  
Meanwhile Meg was starting again to throw out and the red-head mother put her hand on her shoulder  
"Well, I know how you feel, I think it's a symptom of pregnancy, but for safety we will have to call a doctor"  
Meanwhile Salvatore, curious by the race of his wife, he immediately went to her research and found her in the bathroom with her mother on her knees  
"Sweetey, why are you running here?"  
Lois promptly answered  
"Salvatore, Meg has just the symptoms of pregnancy, I think..."  
"In what sense I think? We need to bring her to the hospital!"  
"It's n-not necessary, d-don't worry" Meg said as she was getting up, but soon afterwards she began again to feel sick and the woman in her green blouse told her  
"Meg, honey, we need to be certain that this is just a symptom of pregnancy, or if by chance you have a serious health condition such as Rismororosys"  
"What is the Rismo, thingthanimisunderstand?" Salvatore asked confused to the word scratching his head  
"It's like a centaur will destroy the nervous system and you had so many horses to kick your muscles"  
*start scene*  
"Work slaves!" shouted a furiously red-and-black centaur that was knocking on the poor horses that struck the muscles of a poor boy who, coincidentally, was the son of Channel 5's reporter.  
"Tetrik, please don't make us go on for another five eras..." but the centaur hit the poor horse with a powerful whip and then he left in the direction of the brain laughing.  
*end scene*  
"Wow" exclaimed the Italian surprised to the discovery  
Meanwhile, at the local, after talking about something else, and after throwing a bottle into the face of the owner of the local...  
"Hey!"  
The four friends didn't know what else do except drink beers at full blast, but suddenly at the black friend came something which amazed all  
"Guys, I have an idea, why don't we bet on the sex of the Meg's baby?"  
"Good idea!"  
"And what we aim?" asked the policeman Joe curious from the idea  
"I bet Rallo's collection of toys that will be female"  
"I bet Brian that my nephew will be male" said Peter, but the other three didn't agree to what he had said  
"You can't bet your dog, you know?" said Quagmire annoyed raising his arms for a moment  
"Why not? Once long ago I bet my virginity, but I found out too late that I didn't have it anymore, and so I had to procure it from an another person, unfortunately they didn't want that anymore, for some reason..."  
*flashback*  
Peter had accompanied his daughter Meg to a sort of dark place telling her that he had found her ideal boy, but then there appeared the men in black, who, after looking at the girl from head to toe, they were horrified and ran out fastly and the man asked wondered  
"Hey, don't you want her anymore?"  
*end flashback*  
"Do this, you bet an object and not a person, okay?"  
Joe leaned his gun on the table, and said safely  
"I bet on a male"  
"I know how the first children will be, and I say that Meg will be a female" and Quagmire took a DVD titled "Sex Origins" and laid it on the table  
"Say what you want, but for me it will be a Goblin, I bet one night with my wife in the bed of our house" said confident the boss of the family  
"I'm sorry Peter, you'll lose Giggity Goo"  
The four then shook hands and left the room, but all began to think if they lost the bet  
"Crap!" Peter exclaimed, imagining a massacre in the city.  
A short time later, Peter came home and called his wife Lois with his tone  
"Lois, bring me the desired!"  
"What?" she asked from far, remained in the bathroom all the time to clean it  
"Well, the desired, one that is desired" Peter didn't remember how was called what he was looking for...  
"A cake?"  
"No, that one is too desired, I mean one person, one with the glasses who looks like a raccoon in a state of apparent coma"  
To hear him, the husband boy understood him and immediately said far away  
"Who, your daughter?"  
"Yes, but who are you voice of the night?" he asked amazed sitting on the couch  
"I'm Salvatore" answered, but Peter couldn't figure who he was and asked again  
"Who?"  
"Meg's husband!" but he still didn't understand and scratched his head confused  
"Who?"  
"Your daughter!" shouted exasperated to the father in law, but he understood one thing for another, and said to him, leaving him petrified  
"Hi Meg, how are you, you're just good with that voice!"  
Salvatore covered his eyes with the palm of his right hand while Meg came from his father and greeted him a bit tired  
"Hi dad. You wanted me?"  
Her father replied  
"Yes, you know nothing about a boy, or a girl, I don't remember the sex or even the name..."  
Peter was trying not to know to the others about the bet but wanted to know if he had already won  
Suddenly Salvatore came, still nervous with a flickering eyelid with Lois, and he could figure out why Peter was saying these things  
"Do you want to know the sex of our baby?" said the Italian, catching him by surprise  
"Crap!"  
"What?" shouted the man's family wife, who embarrassed, he was invented an excuse to leave, and without second thoughts, he said it  
"Excuse me, but now I have to go, Cleveland might feel bad, I will return when he will sing Scream and Shout in a circus ball, bye!"  
He opened the door in a bizarre way and he ran way, leaving the three rather confused.  
Past time, Peter and his gang are still together for know how proceed the bet on Meg's pregnancy  
"News?" starts Cleveland  
"No..." Peter replied disappointed, but the pervert with the big chin told him happy  
"It will take time, but I was already taste the victory and even your wife, Giggity!"  
Quagmire after imagined in his mind his friend's wife with just a bathrobe waiting for him in his home bed telling to him something erotically  
"Oh great Quagmire, I need some Giggity lessons, could you give me a rerun?"  
But Peter shouted at him, making him return to the real world  
"Oh no, you won't win, because from there will come out a Goblin!"  
"No, it will come out a female, and will also be the best, even better than Hillary Clinton in past elections" Cleveland said seriously  
*flashback*  
In the electoral room a blonde woman was take a discussion with her fans, but after immediately the woman kissed one after the other all and shortly after she declaring  
"If I win the elections, you will have anything else for me" and all immediately ran to vote but a great-aged man, her husband, didn't agree...  
"Bitch!" exclaimed disappointed Bill Clinton  
*end flashback*  
The black owner with afro hair and robust body was looking the situation heat up and he immediately intervened  
"Hey, what's going on here?"  
"Oh Jerome, sorry but we were discussing and raising the voice, but I would like to ask you something, what would you bet between a goblin and a witch?" asked Peter friendly and the black replied  
"Well, surely on the witch, because of her ugliness and for the mag..." but he began to understand the argument and furious he shouted  
"Wait, what does this have to do with it?"  
"Nothing at all" and immediately Peter ran out to go to another nearby bar where they were comparing the same Goblin of the scene before and a bad witch in a sort of red-light ring  
"I bet one hundred dollars on the witch!" Peter shouted as he brought out the money from the shirt and waved them up  
The witch meanwhile was hitting the Goblin with her magic broom but the Goblin took a spiked club from nowhere and hit her making her unconscious and ate her in one bite  
"Oh crappit!" exclaimed meanwhile he threw the money on the ground and Peter goes away furious from the strange local.  
Later at Swanson's home, the wife of the disabled Bonnie was watching calmly the television with her daughter a cartoon called The Supercows than showing three cows, one red, one blue and one green fight against a huge dragon with a super big brain but at the end of that the dragon ate them all and belched bad  
As soon as she turned off the TV, Joe the husband came suddenly and then asked to the woman  
"Bonnie sweetheart, sorry, I should take a bath now, you know, the skunks, would you help me?"  
"Of course Joe, I prepare you the bath" she stood up from the couch laying the little one and walked towards the bathroom but Joe had other things to do in mind, and he took a laptop and searched on the Internet "Probability of conception" and he found interesting arguments on that but his wife returned to surprise and asked him with her usual and unique tone  
"How you want the water Joe?"  
Joe closed the laptop suddenly and answered  
"Lukewarm, please" and when she returned to the bathroom, he opened the laptop but with surprise looked the battery than was running low  
"Man, I don't want to go to put the charger, but..."  
Worried and tense, he wondered if he might lose the bet...  
I can't... no!  
He had imagined that Cleveland took his gun and suddenly fired a shot on Bonnie while laughing sadistically, so he went with his wheelchair to take the laptop charger  
Cleveland, however, after returning home, he asked to his wife with her slender body something about a strange decision  
"I would like to have your opinion, but I would absolutely want you to be honest, okay?"  
"Of course Cleveland, say as well" said his wife with her tone  
"If by chance you should decide to go right or left, which would you choose?"  
"It depends on where they are heading" she replied with an annoyed tone, sitting on a chair  
"Even though you didn't know where to go, what direction would you choose?"  
"Well, the right seems good but the left it chooses all, why you really want to know my opinion about this nonsense?"  
"That's, hum, for curiosity" said the nervous man while the black woman stood up  
"Okay, now I have to go help our little Rallo, see you later in our cave" she, after said it, walked away leaving a rather confused Cleveland  
"What cave?"  
The big chinned Quagmire however, having prepared the room thinking he had already won, tried to train himself to speak to his friend's wife  
"Oh Lois, I know for so long that I want you but, would you like to give me this little thing?" and he kissed a wig similar to her hair, but in the neighborhood, precisely at Griffins' home, the blonde boy Chris was talking to Salvatore about becoming uncle while Meg had gone to the gynecologist with her mother  
"So if I become uncle, what benefits will I have?" asked the fat boy excited by the idea  
"Well, you could take care of our baby, but you won't have the privileges that you can make conquests, sorry" answered her sister's husband, making him feel bad  
"Heck, at least I wanted to have a steady girlfriend, you know, the last one was unsatisfactory!"  
*flashback*  
In a remote forest, Chris and a strangely anorexic girl than was envy of the models were making out, but after finishing, the two quickly hugged but she broke in two and Chris screamed  
"I hope than aren't you, girls who watch this show" he then said referring at the camera while he let her go.  
*end flashback*  
Finally, Meg and Lois returned to the gynecologist, and Salvatore went from his beloved fastly and asked  
"So, it's everything all right?"  
"Yes Salvatore, they are just symptoms of pregnancy, don't worry" Lois answered instead of her daughter while leaving the two little girls alone, but they were not alone, Chris was still there close to her sister's belly to talk to it  
"Hi baby, uncle Chris is here, and when you'll get out, I'll show you many things about life, like playing balls, walking without trousers..." but Salvatore hearing that things he moving him away with his hand and said to him  
"Look, now we have to stay alone, so go do your daily things now"  
"Yeah!" exclaimed the little Stewie suddenly appeared and the blonde brother went disappointed and embittered  
Meg however said, still a bit groggy  
"But I still feel strange, like if a green guy had created something that makes big mess in my belly"  
*start scene*  
A weird kaki type created an agglomeration of angry red blood cells than was rolling crazy for the body and overwhelmed first a white globe similar to Lois, then one like Stewie and one like Brian, right after one like Chris and lastly two similar to Salvatore and Meg  
The one like Peter, seeing the approaching ball, he kicked it and hit a wall making an amazing red explosion.  
"Touchouse!"  
*end scene*  
The next day in the usual shack, the four friends were as always drinking their usual fresh beer but in the air there was a strange feeling, a bad air.  
"Guys, you have news or something?" asked the man with the wheelchair to his friends  
"Not exactly, I spied Meg and Lois who went to the gynecologist without discovering anything. Peter, you don't have told you if they know the sex of the baby?" Quagmire asked  
"Since when do you spy on women who go to the gynecologist?" Joe was confused, and his friend replied proudly  
"Not only I spy them, I also help them"  
*flashback*  
To the Quahog's hospital, an obstetrical Quagmire was seeing a pregnant patient, and she was an eighteen year old girl with brown hair and the nose visibly redone  
"You're okay, you're at the seventh week and everything was going perfectly well, you can go"  
He helped her to dress and after he gave her a slap on the ass  
"Thanks Dr. Quagmire" and she went away happy leaving twenty dollars to the desk  
"Come in, the next one!" but what the poor man saw that arrived wasn't a woman like all others, she was his "father", and she sat on the desk and said to the poor son like if he didn't recognize him  
"Well, can you control me if all goes well Dr. Quagmire?"  
"Uhm... of course..." he said disoriented while doing his job  
*end flashback*  
"Anyway Quagmire, no, but maybe we can let us say even now, wait a second..."  
Peter got up from his seat and took a mobile phone out of his shirt and began to call his wife with difficulty  
"I still don't know how to use these I-things..." it took a while to be able to call his wife...  
"Here it is, hello, Lois?"  
She was reading a book at her little genius son while she answering the phone  
"Oh hi Peter, strange that you call me, what happened?" asked confused  
"I want to know one thing, but you will not like my question, the chicken is served with rosemary or sage because..." but Cleveland gestured for him to change the argument and he corrected  
"I mean, do you know if our nephew is a male or a female?"  
"What? No, Meg didn't want to know, me neither, but why are you interested?" she remained curious while Brian the dog was taking his little friend to take him away but he bit his paw making him swear  
"Well... see ya!" and the man suddenly threw the phone in the window's shack ending shattered  
The friend with the flowered shirt, very curious, asked  
"Well?"  
"Nothing, not even Lois knows, and neither the other"  
"Maybe if we go to the doctor, maybe he will say it" said Cleveland  
"Great idea, but I know already than I'll win because you know nothing about pregnancy" said Quagmire proud of himself, putting a hand on his chest  
"Look Quagmire, I read it somewhere, it will be a strong and brave male!"  
But Peter answered for the others  
"I don't think so, because I'll have your sparkling thing anyway"  
"Hold on, duffers you will never have my gun!" Joe was furious and determined not to be taking the gun from the white man, but the black had offended  
"Hey, who did you say duffers?  
"To you, demented obese, black weird and big chinned maniac!"  
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe they were the injuries, but Peter starts to alter badly and shouted  
"How dare you calling me fat? I lost a lot of weight since I spoke, shitty handicapped!"  
"Shitty Hand... that's enough, I tell you it will be a boy!" the man in the wheelchair furiously replied  
"Instead it will be female, and that's that!" Quagmire affirmed  
"Male!" shouted Joe  
"Female!" they shouted in unison Cleveland and Quagmire  
"Goblin!" finally Peter shouted and instantly starts a furious fight thanks to a man's fist than hits the disabled friend than involved everybody on the local than began to beat each other in every possible way.  
In the fight, Peter hits Quagmire to the chin with a punch but the friend returns with a blow of his chin which made him fall on a poor client, who died smashed  
Meanwhile Joe punched Cleveland using his wheelchair to ward off the hits of the black but shortly the other wielded a bat and began to beating him up  
Joe angrily took his gun and began to firing wildly, but he didn't hit anyone, or nearly, and Peter, after got up, goes to the charge and hit Quagmire with a head-butt making propel him to Cleveland and Joe but suddenly starts another shot of the weapon hitting exactly the leg of the man with the flowered shirt injuring him.  
"Aaaahh, you son of a...!"  
The clash, that inside it there was also a old man with not only wooden legs, lasted at least five minutes and the four, with broken limbs and a half inn destroyed with an unconscious owner, were not satisfied to the result  
"IT WILL BE MALE, PUT IT IN THAT FUCKING HEAD THAT YOU HAVE!" shouted Joe with the gun pointed on the black man and with the flowered shirt man  
"INSTEAD WILL BE A FEMALE LIKE THE MOTHER AND I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU'LL HAVE UNDERSTAND IT!" Cleveland said now about to give up to the pain but at the Clam it came unexpectedly a person who was nearly hit by a punch from her spouse  
"Peter!"  
"Uh, Lois?" exclaimed painful while he saw her upset by that disaster  
"Oh my god, what the hell was happened here?!"  
The man with the white shirt was sorry for what had happened, he was corrupted by the wrath because he wanted absolutely win, and the insults have certainly not helped to calm down. After recovering a bit, the fat man answered to Lois  
"Sorry, we were talking about a thing, and we let it go, hehe" he said apologetically, but Lois shouted  
"Let it go? Here it seems almost like that home with that fight between horny girls!"  
*flashback*  
In a house some girls was pulling their hair, threw objects and kissed each other until a type, owner of the house, came and scolded them saying  
"What are you doing bit..." but he don't finished speaking than he was attacked, beaten to death and raped by all of them, but after ten minutes a guy with a big chin was shocked after snooped into the room.  
*end flashback*  
Cleveland, slowly, approached his friend's wife and sadly told him  
"Lois, sorry, we were monsters"  
"Yeah guys, I'm so sorry, let's all go back to our house and make a truce, okay?"  
After nodded, all four shook hands and they hugged, but while Peter was going to hug his wife, he realized that if she was already gone from the local.  
It was evening at Quahog, and in the meantime, Peter and Lois, just back from the Clam, they found their son trying to do something inappropriate near the television  
"Chris, don't play your own game right here!" scolded his mother and he ran swiftly on all fours  
The two sat on the couch and the first to talk was the woman  
"So, Peter, what argument made you fights each other, uh? And no excuses!"  
"Um, damn, I don't know how to explain it, but we four had a bet about which sex was the Meg's baby, and while we had a discussion after another, you know how is ended"  
Impulsively she gave him a slap that made him exclaim a more damn  
"It's a despicable thing, you don't have to do that, you don't bet on things so private!"  
"I know, but I wanted win toys and a sexy DVD. Maybe you're right"  
She slips out a smile and he continued  
"Lois, from tomorrow I'll promise you that we will never meddle in the affairs of our daughter"  
"Wait, no Peter, you misunderstood... " but the husband said interrupting her  
"Ah, I don't care. By the way, where is the concerned, I must apologize"  
The wife, hearing him, answered calmly  
"It's in her room, but if you want to apologize, you'll have to sleep with her tonight"  
"No, everything but this no, NOOOO!"  
He knelt down and begged her, but there was no way to make her change her mind, meanwhile in Meg's room, she was making out with her husband until she felt strangely ill and collapsed in bed  
"Sweetey, what's wrong with you?" but she began to snore and he calmed down, so she kissed her on the cheek  
"Good night, my love"  
Salvatore left the room smiling, but before going to sleep in Stewie's room, he wanted to go down the stairs for drink but the genius child suddenly tripped him, and the boy fell doing a great tumble  
The baby amused then said in effect  
"With my sister you will also be lovely, but for me you're too slippery" and after said that, over there he echoed a voice that uttered something  
"Stewie just say that!"  
"Yeah, it's returned!" but then heard a gunshot and a scream of the voice of before  
"No, help, aaah!"  
But Stewie was disappointed, and realizing the guilty he said annoyed going out of sight  
"Damn Brian, he always ruins all!"

 **END**


	3. Long river, big ocean

It was a dark and stormy night in Quahog, and a strange guy, only covered by a cloak and very stocky was walking in the streets of Spooner Street looking for something, even if he was lost  
After, the guy snuck into a house, searched in the rooms, and eventually found a woman with gorgeous red hair, or orange, sleeping in the bed next to a man with brown hair and very overweight  
The stranger wondered why one like her slept with that primitive fat man that was even scratching his buttocks sleeping and after a couple of seconds, the strange being approached stealthily, laid a hand to cover the woman's mouth and he captured her without waking the other, which he said in the meantime in his sleep  
"Oh, I like you, oh oh, I like you, oh baseball bat..."  
It came morning, and thanks to the rays of a rough sun the woman woke up but she was not lying in the bed of her house, she was in a raft in the middle of a river without her green blouse and she had all the hair messed up  
After the initial shock, she said  
"What the hell am I doing here? Peter, if this is one of your jokes like the one you have put poisonous ivy in the bra, it's not funny!"  
*flashback*  
Everyone in the house except the woman named Lois were seeing a program on TV about a girl who solved abnormal things with only a syringe and detergent, but they were interrupted by a scream and cry come from above; Peter was sniggering in the meantime  
"Oh my god, aaahh, what happens to me, it burns me all!" but as she was going downstairs scratching she ended up tripping upon a small son's toy and fell badly with the face and the husband said, amused  
"Ha, joke..." but when, however, he realized that his wife wouldn't get up, all the others worried and shouted  
"Mom, mom!"  
All went to help her and Peter slunk off in absolute darkness with a strange syringe.  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile, the red housewife was still in that raft directed towards the unknown and was looking for a way to return to the mainland  
"Wait, if this it's not Peter's joke, then who brought me here?" and the woman had an idea looking down  
"Maybe if I dive..." but while Lois was about to plunge into the river, a hungry crocodile made her change her mind  
"Stop there succulent chick, you would end up in my mouth?" asked him happily already savoring a hearty meal  
"Um, no ...?" said her moving away from the edge of the raft intimidated  
"Too bad, I don't eat for a week, fuck!" and the animal came back underwater leaving the castaway confused and sad  
"Oh God, I wonder how he will feel Peter when he doesn't find me..."  
Meanwhile, at Griffins' home...  
"Oh no, she has run away from home!" Peter, after waking up and after not finding Lois anywhere, he went into panic and began to vomit strangely from all sides.  
Passed an hour, the home woman was still travel to the unknown with the raft, and now she had no way out, because she was going to a waterfall, as a routine, and she tried to use his hands as oars, but the crocodile was lurking  
In panic, the woman began to cry out loud  
"I'm going to die, and I haven't yet had the opportunity to hear the Jennifer Lopez's new hit"  
*start scene*  
The singing woman had just read the text written by her agent, and she was furious and outraged  
"What the fuck is this? So, specify that I want to say these words in a song, you think you seem normal?!" she asked menacingly pointing her finger, and the agent replied, moving away slowly  
"Well, yeah"  
"Get out of here!"  
After he left, Jennifer took a pen and said happily to herself  
"Well, now let's put some other words like ass and baby and do it in featuring with Pitbull" and after saying it, the man in question appeared magically saying  
"Mr. Worldwide!"  
*end scene*  
The waterfall was getting closer and now desperate, Lois shouted, covering her eyes  
"Somebody help me... EVEN MEG!"  
But before falling into the waterfall, a hairy, grotesque being hanged on a liana took her and saved her from a sure death  
After recovering from the trauma, the woman saw in amazement a brown fur yeti that had awakened her, shaking her and suddenly she screamed  
"Aaahh, go away monster!"  
The yeti, however, tried to tell Lois to be friendly gesturing it but she hit him with a series of punches and fled scared, something that didn't understand very well the yeti  
At Griffins house, while the others were sitting in the kitchen for some reason, the family guy was usually dressed and said quickly to the others, making them not suspect the disappearance of his wife  
"Guys, I go to work, if you look for your mother, he's gone out to buy something and he will not come back until she will not spent all the savings"  
"Everything normal then" said Salvatore suddenly, turning afterwards  
"Brian, you're the caretaker now, okay?"  
"Surely Peter" said the dog raising the thumb  
The boss came out of the house and everyone else continued to make their own chores but Stewie was suspicious...  
"Doesn't seem strange, Brian?" asked to him with a high tone  
"What?" he was surprised the dog as he gets up from his chair holding a cup  
"The fat man had a strangely worried look, what should he really do?"  
After drinking some coffee from the cup, he replied  
"It will be his chores, what's wrong?"  
The little friend, however, was skeptical and wanted to investigate, so he began to look in the kitchen evidences and talked to himself  
"That guy hides something, maybe it will have gone Lois out and is now burying the body somewhere" and after trying under the table and in the fridge, the little kid said  
"He was not so suspicious since he brought that strange red suitcase in the house"  
*flashback*  
Peter the man had returned home and decided to go straight to sleep, but along the way he lost a class case and her daughter found her shortly after and said to her husband, thinking one thing  
"Wow Salvatore, did you give me a travel suitcase? You're my sweetheart"  
He, however, replied confused  
"No, it wasn't me, I swear it!"  
Meg looked around and tried to open the briefcase, but Peter came back catching it and walked away, leaving the couple speechless  
"What should he do with that briefcase, I want know..." Salvatore asked, still confused as the little child looked at the scene interested in its content  
*end flashback*  
Peter, meanwhile, went to Quagmire's home to investigate the disappearance of his wife and wondered if he had seen her, but he replied  
"No, but if she walk around here, I'll let you know as soon as possible"  
He was sad and worried, so he wondered  
"Where will she ever go? I hope not on a farm far from here..." and he imagined Lois caring many chickens, and among them was his enemy chicken that made a tongue on the screen shivering the rival man.  
After traveling in the forest in vain, the lost woman began to have the first symptoms of fatigue, and she was also eating her hair  
"How I ended up here I still don't understand..." but that yeti reappeared in front of her, and she instead of escaping to him she tried to face him talking  
"Look monster, I'm already having a difficult day, I woke up here in this bad place, I'm so wet and you try to scare me. What do you want from me?!"  
"H-Hand..."  
"Hand say, what are you trying to say?" she asked very confused  
"H-Hand, I would..."  
After a moment of understanding, Lois finally understood the message  
"What, you want to marry me?!"  
The yeti still said the same words and Lois still doesn't understand very well, because after he saved his life, was he asking for her hand?  
"Well, I'm already married, I have a very worried husband waiting for me at home" but the yeti couldn't understand, and repeated the following words  
"Hand, I want hand!"  
"And I tell you that I cannot give you my hand, thank you for saving me, goodbye" and she left leaving the poor yeti very sad and angry, and after three seconds he starts to attack as seeking revenge.  
At Griffin home, the others were very bored and watched the TV, but they immediately turn it off, so they started to talk to each other  
"So, you think America and Italy can team?" Salvatore asked hoping for a nice answer, but it was not so...  
"I don't think so, and unfortunately we can't answer at the moment" while the white dog told him, he oddly watching the camera  
"Okay, shame..."  
"Guys, I may have found what should be the murder weapon" he said the happy little genius holding a cat-shaped puppet, so it seemed  
"That's a plush cat Stewie"  
"Well... but it's cute" but as he pulled his tail, the stuffed cat Stewie came to life and launched Stewie out the window and brandished a gun taken from his coat and pointed it at all meowing furiously.  
Meanwhile in the forest, the yeti was chasing the poor Lois, angrier than ever  
"What has passed you now, leave me alone!" shouted Lois terrified  
"HAND!" the yeti yelled as she almost hit her with a paw  
She ran until she came to a precipice, she had no escape  
"HAND, I WOULD!" he repeated as he approached the woman more and more  
Lois couldn't be killed by a beast like that and decided she said  
"Leave me alone or you'll be in big trouble, I'm a black karate belt!" but suddenly a guy with a red cloak and a sculpted body came flying and stood in front of the woman  
"Why don't you pick on someone of your size, monster" he was Superman, and he wanted to save Lois, but the yeti killed him and ate him, and of him it was none left but the bones  
"Okay monkey of c***, you want my hand? Come on and take it!" and she threw herself into the abyss fearless  
The yeti didn't think it, and he also jump in and hear a harrowing scream from the bottom of the precipice, but the woman was hanging on a rock and she tried to climb the ravine but she was too tired, so she put himself in a rocky ground so as not to fall and rest in peace  
"Peter, where are you...?"  
A day was passed, and the man was still in desperate search for his wife, going to public baths, hospitals, and even at Cleveland's home, until he came to an idea  
"I will ask help from Joe, so we'll instantly find her" but Joe's answer was not reassuring...  
"I'm sorry Peter, I can't help you, the police patrols are strangely terrified by something today"  
*start scene*  
"Oh god, let me down that bad, ugly, creepy and robotic thing!" said a guard along with the others who were looking terrorized an innocent song album.  
*end scene*  
"And then I'm busy eating this nice turkey that Bonnie has prepared me, so search her alone..." he closed the door holding a turkey thigh on the wrong side leaving his friend with the white shirt very sad, but he not lost his hope, and he traveled to the unbridled pursuit of Lois day and night, but he walked only three hundred meters and exclaimed  
"Crap!"  
Meanwhile, after recovered, but not entirely, the lost woman named Lois tried to get out of that ravine and she almost fell  
"I have to be careful!"  
In the end she managed to get to the top and continued her journey, but an animal voice screamed from the precipice  
"HaNd!"  
Lois then ran like never before, but first she saw Superman's skeleton say to her something  
"Careful to her hair, beauty"  
At the Griffins' home, now normal, Brian and the others were still bored there wondering why those two still hadn't returned, especially the red-haired housewife  
"How long it takes for Lois to go to shopping" said Salvatore irritated, standing up from the couch  
But Stewie took advantage of it, and replied  
"I know it man, Peter killed her and now he has left us here to decay locking the door"  
Brian replied opening the door, discrediting him  
"Don't say stupid things Stewie, maybe she went to Bonnie's house to share somethin' with her as she did time ago"  
*flashback*  
"This is mine and this is yours, understand?" said the wife of the disabled by giving Lois a cherry red shirt and she took a very chic lilac skirt  
"Hey, that's mine and that's yours!" and suddenly she changed clothes, but the other didn't like very well this  
"No, this is mine, you know it well!" and as she took her skirt, Lois got angry and shouted  
"Let it go!"  
She took her skirt, but Joe's wife would not let that go, and so that they pulled it they broke it and the two began fighting in anger but a dress nearly of there began to speak shocked  
"Oh God, I hope the next doesn't be me!"  
*end flashback*  
"I don't think it Brian, let's go find out" and tried to pull Brian out of the house but his dog friend stopped him and said, putting a hand on his little friend's big head  
"I have a better idea..."  
Brian closed the door and announced his idea to all  
"Why don't we play a game to pass the time?"  
"Game game!" the blonde Chris repeatedly exclaimed happy and enthusiastic jumping  
"The rules consist of drinking a glass of beer every time we swear, even when we get hurt, and the more sober of all wins" but almost everyone didn't agree with the game proposed by the home dog  
"Brian, sorry, I can't stand so much the beer, and neither I like it, and then I want to know where she was go!" said Salvatore, annoyed, and his beloved replied trying to calm him  
"Come on baby, it will be fun, and so you'll experience something new"  
"A moment sweetey, but it will not hurt the baby, huh?" he asked immediately very concerned, and he was reasonable  
"So nothing will happen, trust me"  
"I hope so"  
"Damn Brian, now we have to get drunk, fuck!"  
Brian immediately, after Stewie finished speaking, said loudly, pointing him  
"Stewie said a bad word, c'mon, go get you a glass of beer little one!"  
"What? Damn, it will be a disaster like the young NBA" and he ran to the kitchen gesturing, making appear a gag scene  
*start scene*  
At a stadium was playing the game of the century, but to play were babies, and no one had score, but a child with stilts succeeded, and that was Stewie  
"So what's up, suckers?"  
*end scene*  
Two hours passed, and Lois was still in the desperate search for home and someone who help her  
She first found a lame pirate with wooden arms but she couldn't finish talking that he ran into a rampage of madness, she tried then to get something to eat, but she only found a crow and reluctantly she ate cooking it and she tried to make a smoke signal, however, her hair caught fire and eventually dived into the same river of before to extinguish them, but the crocodile was lurking and she had to immediately get out of there  
"Stop persecuting me!" she exclaimed, exasperated by the reptile  
"Sorry, but you're so inviting..." and the crocodile went back to the river disappointed again  
In desperation, Lois tried to call someone but only received a very familiar cry  
"HAND!"  
Trying to escape from the yeti, the woman was blocked between several rocks and trees that blocked the escape route and shouted  
"Enough, I told you I'm married, I won't marry you!"  
After a while the yeti approach her and attacked her by surprise trying to scratch her but she hit him several times with a series of shots and he spat blood, and after growled, he hit her powerful in the face causing her to hurl right in a rock  
Painful, the woman got up and then said  
"If I must die, I will fight!" and she rushed furiously against the yeti to hit him, but he dodged all the shots and hit her in the back with a paw  
Lois didn't give up and rose against the yeti hitting each other but a flock of birds looked at the scene with disgust  
"Look there, they're slaughtering like cats and dogs" said the first  
"And you're saying that there were no fights here as well, idiot" but as soon as the second had finished speaking, the poor bird was immediately killed by a branch launched by Lois.  
The housewife, now exhausted, decided to hit him in the neck with a sharp blow but he bit her on the arm and then struck her with a blow that made her lose consciousness  
It was the end for her, but before the yeti hit her again, suddenly a familiar man took her and ran away with her, but he was too fat and immediately slowed down  
"What the heck this Earth..."  
After she recovered, it was a joy to see a face familiar to her after all that happened to her  
"Oh Peter, you're here!" she tried to hug him, but didn't make it for the pain  
"Lois, but how are you over here, and why did Meg follow you with the intention of killing you?"  
The man's wife, adjusting a bit, replied very happy but worried  
"It was not Meg, he was a stupid yeti with the intent to marry me!" but they heard disturbing noises while Peter said  
"Luckily I found you, I had to travel for heaven and earth, and I had even cut down a dyslexic tree for see you again"  
*flashback*  
After resting for a moment, Peter went on his way, but a tree immediately blocked the road, and after trying to cut it down, a voice from the tree said  
"You, revoltinng tghing, now you'll pay!"  
Peter then answered stunned  
"Wow, a talking tree, now I fix you" and he took a branch, used a lighter to burn it and burned the tree with it, but it made a chain reaction that made going to fire the whole area  
"Well, at least I will not find any more obstacles in my path"  
"You say taht!" said the voice of the tree now appearing like a boy who shortly after Peter let him catch fire throwing him into the flames and ran away.  
*end flashback*  
The yeti from the brown coat approached threateningly and tried to attack the woman but Peter blocked him  
"Wait yeti that looks like Meg, before you kill us, why you want to marry my wife?"  
The yeti shouted again by showing his paw  
"HAND, WOULD, POTATO, HAND!"  
The red-haired woman was now confused  
"You want to marry me or a potato, choose!" shouted  
"What do I know what he wants, but you can have my hand if you want" said Peter, but he only irritate his wife  
"What, you want to leave for that ape who tried to kill me?!"  
"Don't worry Lois, it will end like the time than Stewie wanted affection by myself"  
*flashback*  
Peter Griffin here was drinking a beer in the sofa and the son Stewie approached to him annoyed  
"Hey, change seat right now!"  
Peter didn't understand very well, and he said  
"Hi son, ready for cuddling and a little healthy TV?" and happily took him in his arms and put him close to him  
"But you are imbecile, get away from here before you will regret having let me out of that little stick!"  
"Bravo baby, that's Michelle Obama" said the father ignoring him, and Stewie irritated got off of the couch and took a sister's book and threw it at Peter's head but it didn't do anything  
"Thanks Stewie, I needed a head massage, tomorrow I'll take you to the park and I'll buy you a nice ice cream"  
In the end, the poor kid went out outrageously, having never been able to see his favorite show.  
*end flashback*  
The yeti then grabbed Peter's hand and led him into a dark cave nearby and Lois go after them to see, but the show that sees her change her mind  
"Wow, what is this thing so soft and moist, it looks like a melon, hey, why you are doing these verses, you're happy that we get married..." and continued so for two hours straight  
After a long day, the parents returned home safely to control their children, and hoping that the dog has kept his promise  
"One thing, though, doesn't come back to me, Peter, who brought me there?"  
As soon as they opened the door, however, what they saw it was not approving; the house was messed up, Brian was sleeping close to Stewie and above them was the stereo and there was no trace of the others in those parts, even though there smells like alcohol  
"What the hell has happened here?!" Lois cried, but no one answered, or at least it seemed like that  
"I'm going to check upstairs, you Peter wake up that bad dog!"  
The housekeeper's wife ran fast upstairs, and shortly after she saw something awkward in her son's room; there were Meg, Chris, and Salvatore who were half-naked, drunk, and were saying nonsense things  
"Then, there was a talking bean than said, hehe, I have been helpful for one thing, to grow a tree that leads to a crap giant!" Chris said with a drunken tone, making laugh the Italian  
"Ha ha, drink, you said crap!" Salvatore said, but his wife answered him with sickly sweet tone  
"Uhm, you also said it, hehehe..."and Chris and Salvatore tried to drink another glass of beer but Lois stopped them promptly shouting  
"Oh god, you, what are you doing here? And why are you so drunk?"  
"Hey mom, welcome back"  
"Where have you been, not in the middle of a river with a primate to guard, uh?" Chris asked sobbing while the pupils in his eyes was shaking  
"Now all you go in your beds, immediately, before I call your father!"  
All three walked quickly to try to go to their rooms, but unfortunately they fell to the ground even before they got there  
Meanwhile, Peter woke farting Brian and Stewie, but the child was badly furious with the dog  
"What the... Brian, what the hell you've think for about making us this laming game?!"  
"Sorry Stew, but at least they're back, everything's fine..." but he didn't finish the sentence that he returned to sleep deeply.  
Peter brought Stewie upstairs and put him in the crib and Brian was left there, Lois instead, after dragging her daughter Meg and her husband with strength and woke up his son, who went into the bed with difficulty, she came from her husband Peter and said angrily and tired  
"Oh damn, but what he had in mind?! So, in short, making everyone drunk, both Meg and Salvatore, but what he had I..."  
Peter, happy and determined to do something, replied blocking her  
"Okay Lois, but now how about a familiar little up and down to celebrate and relax?"  
The woman, unable to refuse, kissed him and said  
"Oh, sure, I can't wait, come here you..."  
The two started to making up but someone was spying from the nearby window, was the male yeti, better, the female yeti, than wanting something else  
The next day, Meg, Salvatore and Chris received the punishment of washing dishes and their clothes that having smell of beer with a bad hangover and Brian was immediately made to go out kicking from home and then later take out the trash  
Annoyed, the dog threw it, but something moved behind the bush and approached to him, and shortly after he was taken by something, she was the yeti ready for the second round.

 **END**


	4. A Dog's Birthday

A wonderful day was coming for the residents of Quahog and especially for the woman named Lois, who was usually wake up and go take a walk in the morning but something wasn't in her plans, he suddenly hear a nagging music coming from below and that it hears all over the house  
"What the hell?"  
Disturbed, the woman, after getting up, went downstairs to check the situation and she found here Salvatore and Chris who were listening to a rather repetitive and dynamic song come from the stereo  
The woman, irritated by the noise, shouted  
"What is this outroar?!"  
No one answered, Lois then tried to shout more loud as she approached them  
"Hey, just turn off immediately before Peter wakes up and..." but he had already woken up and he started dancing together with the two boys making the woman wife get angry  
"That's enough!"  
Quickly, she turned off the stereo and all suddenly slumped to the ground as if they had turned off  
She, perplexed, turned on again the stereo and they came back to life and began to dance as before  
"It's cool, isn't it?" Peter said with his happy face dancing the PeterDance along with the other males  
Passed an hour, the famous father was as usual watching television with his family, and was making the Channel 5, Quahog's famous newscast  
"A good morning from Channel 5, I'm Tom Tucker" talked a man with brown hair and very recognizable mustache, and beside him was a blond woman with a pretty good voice who also introduced herself  
"And I'm Joyce Kinney"  
"Today's news, a bad accident hit the Toys Factory Srl and there were no survivors, bad, poor underpaid men..."  
"On screen, the our new reporter Stacie, Stacie, how is the mood there?" on the screen was framed a young girl with long blond hair and glasses who said embarrassed  
"Welp, I..." but unfortunately she didn't finish answering because she was hit hard by a fool with a still-packed toy losing her senses  
"Death to toys!" he then shouted and destroyed the box and the toy inside throwing it to the ground and trampling it  
"What a bore!" Peter exclaimed bored and immediately changed the channel. Now on TV he was making a movie about a guy trying to play American football without the sight, but he always slammed the head everywhere  
It was cool, until knocked on the door and Peter got up lazily and opened it  
"Hey, hi guys!"  
They were Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire, his trusty and close friends, and they had in their hands packed gift packs  
"Hi Peter, Brian is at home?" asked the disabled friendly  
"Uhm..."  
Nervous, Peter came out of the house and shut the door behind him to avoid being seen and said to them quickly  
"You're crazy to introduce yourself in this way, I'd like to have a surprise party for him, you know, for the nine years he's still alive"  
"Excuse me, it's not better to do it normally, do you remember your son Chris's party?" asked the black Cleveland, making the usual flashback appear  
*flashback*  
Everyone was inside the house in total darkness to surprise the birthday boy, and as soon as he came through the door they turned on the lights and shouted  
"Surprise!" but the boy didn't react very well, he ran from the house screaming out loud and was then hit by a car  
"Well, at least he will be happy to know that the cake is mine" Peter said, and he ate the cake in one bite, outraging the others  
*end flashback*  
"Yeah, but I wish it was an unforgettable day, like that night of passion with that poodle"  
*flashback*  
"Oh, Paula, you're beautiful!" Brian was cuddling on a bed a poodle with a strange hairstyle  
"Yeah my Brian, now if you'll excuse me" she spoke with a male and ran to the bathroom to vomit while Brian was shocked and slowly he was running away from there  
*end flashback*  
"All right, see you later Peter" and all four went to their homes  
As soon as he saw the owner, the family dog spoke first and asked to him  
"So, who was at the door?"  
Peter tried to invent an excuse, and he answered a bit nervously  
"Nothing, hum, he was a Jehovah's Witness"  
To hear those words, Salvatore gets mad  
"They persecute me here too, you monsters!" and he opened the door and ran to their search.  
After the morning passed to laughing, the dog Brian was usually going with Stewie at the park looking for a puppet to flirt  
"I feel that this is my lucky day to find love and inspiration..." but he didn't even come down the stairs, he heard a shout from the whole family saying  
"Surprise mo*********r!"  
"What happened?!" the dog asked surprised and confused  
The boss asked him right after  
"Don't you remember Brian?"  
"Wait a second, who is the celebrated?" asked again as he was scratching his head, but Salvatore also asked the same thing, because he didn't know much about it  
"Yeah, why did you make me say surprise?"  
"We've already talked to you, dunce, it's Brian's birthday!" Peter shouted, unexpectedly revealing his surprise and immediately closed his mouth  
"Oops!"  
"It's my birthday, and you didn't tell me this?!" Brian pointed them with a threatening finger and Salvatore laughed to see him  
"It must have been a surprise and we had to reveal it at the right time but Peter ruined everything!" Lois said in front of a very sorry Peter, but the little friend of the celebrated remembered something and exclaimed  
"Oh no!"  
"What happen', Stewie?" he wondered, but Stewie ran upstairs  
"And now we say happy birthday to our favorite dog" said Lois to all who approached the dog by singing  
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to our Brian..."  
"And the cake to Meg!" and after saying it, Peter launched the cake in the face to his daughter, causing a fever blast on everyone.  
After a general cleaning meeting, Brian talked a bit touched  
"Thank you guys, I don't know what I would do without you"  
"We'll have to tell you, we will not know what to do without you, especially me, Peter"  
"And now Christmas gifts Brian!" said Chris, shrugging off all and he put himself in the front row to deliver his gift  
"Look, I gave you this"  
Brian opened the boy's pack and he found an animal risqué magazine  
He embarrassed thanked him  
"Well, thanks Chris..."  
"We did you this gift instead"  
Meg and Salvatore, second in a row, handed over their gift and when Brian discarded him, he saw that it was a disc with written on "The Best Music of the Year 2000"  
"We bought it at a bargain price" said Salvatore proud  
After putting the disc in place, the family dog then saw Peter's gift, which was a muzzle  
"What?!"  
"You will like it, look..." and quickly put it on the poor dog than, trying to get it off, he slammed on Lois by dropping the gift, which was a set of plates with the inscription "Brian licked here!"  
"Noooooo!"  
Before he did other damage, Salvatore and Meg removed to him the muzzle, and Brian was able to speak again apologized to the woman  
"Sorry Lois... "  
The dog then turned to the man, shouting at him furious  
"Peter, hell, what you has passed for the mind to give me that thing?!"  
"I thought you liked it..." he said sorry, but to the blonde boy had something he can't figure  
"One question, where did Stewie go?" he asked to Brian  
"I'll check upstairs" and then went to the baby's room, Brian found him searching through his toys and talking with a teddy bear known to all  
"Rupert, help me, what can I give to Brian...?" but he was interrupted by the celebrated friend who asked him  
"Stewie, what are you doing here?"  
"Oh Brian, that's... well..." he tried to think of an excuse but he couldn't  
"Come on, the others are there waiting us, I still have to see your gift"  
"G-Gift, umm..." he was very nervous and anxious  
"Do you feel good?"  
Desperate, the child says  
"No Brian, I didn't have time, I'm sorry"  
"Sorry about what, I don't understand..."  
"Look, I'm sorry, I have nothing to give you, I didn't have time to take you a present, sorry"  
There was a moment of silence, and suddenly Brian reacted strangely badly shouting  
"What the hell Stewie, and after all we've been through together you don't even gave me a gift, what kind of friend you are!" and he went away, leaving the little Stewie sad and disappointed  
"Now I know how it feels one who plays to Hungertale"  
*start scene*  
Here was a guy in front of his computer, which was playing a game that commanded a boy with eyes closed who befriends with monsters and goats, until he found himself face to face with a giant psychopath goat who claimed to be his mother  
In the end, unfortunately, he made him kill the goat by the player, and after that the goat vanished like ash, the player spoke to the boy breaking the fourth wall  
"Hey you little bastard, how you dare you to make me kill her!"  
"Well, she's a psycho..." but he was badly interrupted  
"No no no, now close the game and reset, before a necrophiliac plant kills me at the end!"  
"I don't think so man, now shut up and do what you say..." but what he did was creepy, the yellow-skinned guy cut his throat and the Game Over screen appears and the game automatically reset  
"Oh my god!"  
The boy was traumatized to life and several days after he did the same end as the game, but this was just a story, right?  
*end scene*  
Back from the others, the dog celebrated with a sad look and with very distressed thought, he blew the candles from another cake that there was Peter's face drawn on it and played to stumble upon someone and sip various drinks  
It was all fun, but Brian felt sick, as though he had a void inside, only Lois noticed it, and when approached to him, she asked him  
"What is it, don't you like the party? We can make it better by getting rid of..."  
"It's not this, and there's something in my head, something that doesn't let me sleep. Well, now I'm nine years old, I'm so close to die and I haven't still achieved the goals that I proclaimed" after having said, he lowered his head sadly  
"Don't say that, something you did, who wrote the best comedy of the city?" she asked  
"It was me"  
"Who save the city from an invasion of cats?"  
*flashback*  
There were cats everywhere in Quahog, even in the head of Stewie and Chris, even in Meg's shirt, and they roaming around the city destroying everything  
It was the chaos now, but Brian made them go away using his bark and a maxi-sized ball.  
*end flashback*  
"It was still me" he said remembering the fact  
"Well, you've done great things, and you should now be satisfied, and too bad for my gift, I wanted than you see it"  
"It's okay, Lois"  
"Why don't you join the group?" asked while was doing a family mini-party with Peter dancing and playing things like drums, and others talking or taking the rhythm  
"No thanks, I prefer to rest" he said depressed, so Lois had to leave it there and joined Peter into the dance  
Brian soon after walked away and sat down in a corner to think a bit  
'What did I do to stay in this family, and what is my ultimate goal...? but there arrived a person who he didn't want to see at that moment...  
"Sorry, can I stay with you?" he was the genius friend, but he replied scorbutically  
"No, go away!"  
"Come on, there's something that disturbs you?"  
"You, and now disappear!" and he pushed him out badly  
"Hey Brian now stop, I said I was sorry for the gift thing, it's not than you are as that Hollywood's greedy guy you?!"  
*start scene*  
"All mine is just mine!" a boy quickly said as he took and lifted a whole bright building with a great force but he stumbled and he was brutally crushed, but to tripping him had been a magpie  
"You're wrong, this stuff is mine!" and the magpie took the building as if it was nothing.  
*end scene*  
After a while the dog, still depressed, then said something that touched Stewie standing up  
"You know what it is, I don't want to live in this world anymore!"  
"But what do you say, don't do the Meg 2.0!" now Stewie was angry...  
"I'm not doing anyone, I'm just saying that I prefer to disappear, so I didn't do nothing, and nothing I will!" he said as he went to the kitchen to take something  
"Brian, what are you doing, idiot!"  
Brian was about to take a knife to commit suicide but the friend boy rushed to take it to him but let him down to the ground fortunately. The dog didn't lose hope and tried to pick up the knife but the kid pulled him out of the reach and took Brian for the collar to shout  
"Listen to me, you will also be useless, but you always are my best friend, and to please you, the gift I give you is this..." immediately afterwards, Stewie hugged him and said softly  
"I love you, Brian" he was honest, but the dog rejected him and told him seriously  
"Oh god, what the hell I do with your, I love you, it doesn't solve what I feel"  
Brian looked over at others who had fun and sat down on the floor, talking to the baby  
"I don't have a steady job, I don't have a girlfriend, and look, even Meg has a boyfriend. Mostly, I think if I was dead, everyone in this house, no one else will remember me!"  
While listening to him, Stewie seemed to understand what he felt and wept in the meantime  
"So I prefer to leave this world, and now let me die!" and he held another knife from the kitchen ready to end himself  
Stewie had been hurt by those words, and so he said  
"If you die, I'll go with you to hell!" he came close to him but he move him and said  
"You no, you still have dreams to accomplish, I'm just a dog, and the dogs only serve to serve the owners for the only purpose of doing nothing"  
"Don't say stupid Brian, if you're not there, everyone will be lost... rather, I'll be lost without you, you know?"  
Meanwhile, at the party in the living room, the blonde Chris along with the family were having fun, but none of them suspected that Brian and Stewie were in the kitchen  
"Oh my gosh, let's go with the dance, yeah!" while he was saying, the boy was waving the body back and forth slamming on Salvatore and Lois  
"Watch out" the Italian said and then tried to imitate him but he bounced on the fat body of the other and stumbled  
"Look Chris, here comes the PeterDance!" but a few seconds later, the family father stumbled on Salvatore's body and crushed him, making he screaming painfully  
"Are you all right love?" asked Meg worried, but meanwhile in the kitchen...  
"The point is, if you go away, I'll go with you, you decide to die, I'll do it too, but I'll bring Lois with me"  
"Don't be like that of the nearby road please..."  
*flashback*  
In front of the road Brian saw one was planning a Kamikaze attack but after pressing the boss, nothing happened to the guy  
"What the ...!" he exclaimed furiously, but in the end he imploded and nothing remains of him.  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile, Peter's friends, after leaving their own women at their jobs, were out at the door of his friend's house and were knocking unceasingly but none replied  
"What are they do?" asked the confused black, but he felt a strange music that made him say to the big chinned man  
"I don't know but I hear party music, maybe a sex party, Giggity"  
"Nah, look!" said the disabled man, pointing to the window that looked at a dog who was talking to a child and had a knife in his hand ready to use it, making them worried  
"Oh, God, we must immediately stop it!"  
"You don't say?" Joe exclaimed and after saying it, he broke the window and walked into the house, but someone in the party noticed the noise  
"What was that?" Chris asked intimidated  
"Maybe a rat, or Jodie Foster" said Peter while still danced his dance  
Meanwhile in the kitchen, the boy with the strange head had heard the noise and asked suspiciously  
"Did you hear?"  
"Listen to what, I prefer to hear death rather" he answered seriously as he was about to kill himself, but a shout of three known people blocked him  
"Stay there Brian!"  
When the white dog saw them, he shouted  
"Guys, what are you doing here?"  
"We came here to see what you were doing and to give you these" and all three gave their gifts to the dog  
"Thank you, but I'm not in the right mood..." he replied, putting the gifts on the floor and pointing the knife in his chest  
"What happens to you, Brian, because you're so depressed, it's your birthday" the friend's policeman's friend approached, but the dog answered him sour  
"Nothing, now go back to your houses, I have to do one thing" and then pointed the knife to the throat  
"Stop Brian!" Stewie shouted out to try to get him and everyone tried to get the knife out of his hand but Brian stopped them with every means  
"LET ME DIE!" but the knife ran out of his hand and hit the head of Stewie stabbing as a pincushion, which eventually he fell to the ground bleeding, shocking everyone  
"Hey you, I hope that that knife is not rusty" said a deep voice and after hears two drumbeats and a plate.  
In the end Peter's friends, without being discovered, left the house silently, and Brian tried to medicate Stewie but he was discovered by the family, and the boss of the family broke the silence  
"There you are, where you been, hey, who broke the window?"  
Lois noticed his poor little son and shouted his name and ran to him to see how he was  
Brian, sorry, told to her  
"Don't worry, he's okay, he just..." he tried to invent an excuse but he couldn't lie anymore, so he decided to tell them everything  
"Listen, I've an announcement to make, first, I wanted to end it by killing me, but now I think there are still things I want to do" he said, while others were thinking to the poor Stewie  
"You wanted what?!" Salvatore shouted shocked  
"From now on, I would like to be next to you and try to become a good writer, and most importantly, be close to the little Stewie"  
"How did you want to kill yourself, but did you get out of head? Or maybe you drank too much I bet..."  
"I promise you won't happen again, excuse me"  
But Peter noticed something that was on the ground, or three things, and he asked  
"Uh look, gifts, are they for us?"  
Brian replied lying  
"Well, yes"  
After opening one of the gifts, Peter saw that was a Catwoman cosplay  
"Crap, I haven't received a gift like that since the secretary gave me a strange contraption"  
*flashback*  
Walking for the brewery, our Peter met one that stopped him and said  
"Hey you, would you want this gift box? It's free!"  
Peter replied indifferent  
"I don't know, whoever you are, the offer tempts me but... yes, I'll take it" and he took it, and after bringing it home, he opened it  
"But what will this be?"  
Inside the pack there was a black globe with strange red symbols near it  
After finding a button and pressing it, strange noises began to get out of there and Lois, hearing that noise, saw with horror that the object wasn't normal and yelled running  
"Wait Lois, look what they gave me today"  
At the end of the sounds, or ticking, the bomb did nothing, except it sounded very like a burst  
"Hehehe, I like it" and threw it in the air hitting someone.  
*end flashback*  
Lois then opened the second gift and inside there was a book called "The truth in black"  
"Thanks Brian!" he said moved  
"You're welcome" he said scratching the back of the head as tense  
The third gift was taken by Meg but Chris took it off and discarded it; inside was a bone of solid gold  
"Uh, and this thing what would be useful to me?"  
Nervous, Brian responded  
"Well, you can use it as a stick or a bat..."  
"Cool, I try it right away!" and he threw it on his sister, who screamed in pain and cried  
"Hey!"  
"Oh my god, it's very cool, thank you Br..." but Salvatore took the golden bone and hit him so hard to make him faint  
In the end, all passed the day to take care of Stewie and at late night, the family, with Peter's friends, began to tell scary stories, Peter was frightened first only for a closet with slimming treatments, and then Cleveland for a monster similar to both Donna's wife and her deceased wife Loretta  
The next day, the little Stewie recovered and saw Brian resting near him  
"Oh Brian, I'm glad he's still here..."  
He suddenly woke up and said surprised  
"Stewie, you're finally recovered!"  
"Sure, fortunately you didn't do that madness" he said still upset for the day before  
"You know, I decided to stay here for you as long as you do eighteen and run away from home, ah, and I'm sorry if I've get mad because of the gift, I didn't mean..." but he was interrupted by Stewie who told him calmly  
"Never mind my friend, by the way, where is Rupert?" asked worried about his teddy bear  
Brian immediately found it and handed it over  
"Thank you Brian"  
"Thanks to you, my friend" and they hugged  
Meanwhile, after a while, the family was in their usual routine, Peter was in the Clam with his friends, Lois was cooking something in the kitchen drinking wine, Chris was upstairs to do his "affairs" Meg and Salvatore were out walking hand to hand and the friends Brian and Stewie were talking about something near TV  
"So, that guy is just crazy!" Brian said as he pointed to the television one man beating a pig with glasses and pimples  
"No, it's good, that pig isn't worthy to life!"  
"But you can't beat animals, it would be a crime!" he said seriously and outraged  
"Well, pig nerd yes instead, and you know what my friend, he looks like a guy that I saw somewhere..."  
"It's just a coincidence" but in the TV after the beating, a guy with black glasses and red hair came out of the costume and exclaimed  
"Why did I choose this job?!"  
Meanwhile, Peter returned just to put familiar music, and was again that repetitive music and dynamic of before and he danced humming disturbing all  
"Oh God, stop it!" yelled Stewie, cover his ears, but suddenly something hit the stereo and broke it and Peter was sad  
"Ow... "  
"Thank you again, Brian" he thanked him, and after a while appeared a picture written "BRIAN GRIFFIN, ALWAYS WITH US!" and play were so many salient scenes dedicated to him; since he try with the girls, since he had been hit and had died, when he was a police dog, since he had many adventures with Stewie traveling anywhere, since he spent his time with Chris and Peter and finally by his praise saving Meg's love from amnesia.  
At the end of everything, a big text appeared...  
"THE ADVENTURES OF BRIAN NOT FINISH HERE, STAY HERE FOR THIS AND OTHER TO FAMILY GUY"

 **END**


	5. Rancid Ranch

This strange adventure began, so...  
"Hey, you're occupying my place, dude!" had just spoken a kid with an abnormal head near a boy much bigger than him, who was also his brother  
The big brother was sitting in the couch watching a program called "Rally between obese" that they were making the world finals on that day  
"Go, number 32!"  
Everything was going well for the vehicle, but thanks to a snail he unbalanced and lost the race hurting the blonde boy who left, so, the kid took advantage of it and got ready for his TV turn  
"Well, let's look at something good now"  
He picked up the remote control, but before he could change the channel, his mother arrived who suddenly take him and told him  
"It's time to have a nap, little baby"  
The small one named Stewie didn't want it and was kicking badly  
"Let me go, I want to see the TV bitch!" but in the end the red-haired mom succeed to take him to the bed even if he was too furious to sleep  
"Damnit, one day you will be in the depths of hell and you'll pray mercy!" he shouted, but he caught the attention of the white-haired white dog that asked  
"What happened Stewie?"  
"That one, always continues to ruin everything I want to do, now I settle down as she should..." and he got out of bed and took a thing of his own invention  
"Again with this story Stewie, it just doesn't fit you in that ugly head you have, you're worse than that time I wanted a dinosaur at all costs"  
*flashback*  
The Griffin family had gone in a zoo and the little Stewie saw a stuffed animal never seen and said  
"It would be nice to have it, but who knows if..." and after seeing something he liked, Stewie shouted to her mother named Lois many times  
"Mom!"  
Lois eventually answered  
"What you want Stewie?"  
Brian the dog made him realize that maybe he wanted a dinosaur but she said  
"I'll get you a toy, but not now, sorry"  
"I don't need a toy, I'll take a real one, and I already know how to do it..."  
After returning home, Stewie used his big time machine to take home a T-Rex puppy, but he struck Stewie and sent the time machine in malfunction making came out other creatures of time and them depopulating the whole city  
*end flashback*  
At home, a forty-four years old, fat man came suddenly into his home and said loudly  
"Lois, guys, we'll make a trip to a nice place, get ready!"  
"Where are we going?" Chris asked when he came from his room  
Lois also said that she was curious  
"Peter, what do you mean a nice place?"  
"A beautiful ranch, are you happy?" he answered, raising his hands  
"Yes dad, it will be very cool, I would love to ride a bull" he said enthusiastically, but Lois contradicted him  
"There are no bulls in a ranch"  
"Who knows Lois, remember that time we went to the amusement park and there was that jaguar as an owner?"  
*flashback*  
The family this time went to a Luna park and was stopped by an anthropomorphic jaguar who just saw them said  
"Hey, you cannot pass!"  
"And why?" Brian asked  
"This baby you have is in the list of non-passers, and if you want to pass you have to leave it here!" he pointed precisely the genius son  
"We can't, Stewie's my son!" Lois said hugging him  
"Then I'll be forced to drive you out..." and he went to four feet ready to attack them  
"Okay, run!" Meg screamed as everyone had already abandoned her to her fate, and there was also her Italian husband Salvatore with her.  
*end flashback*  
Later, the whole family was almost ready to quit, but someone lacked to the appeal, it was Salvatore  
"Mom, did you see Salvatore?" Meg asked putting some makeup and her mother answered  
"No dear, I thought you knew it..." but they were interrupted by strange cries from the next room  
"I don't want to go to that fucking place!" shouted the boy in question  
"Instead you will go, and in the end you won't go back anymore!" he shouted in response the fat father-in-law who tried to pull him out of the closet  
"Aaah!" and the two didn't hear anything  
Meanwhile, Chris, Brian and Stewie were preparing a little...  
"Who knows how it will be kids? I hope there are horses and bulls there" said Chris euphorically imagining, but Brian wasn't happy...  
"Hopefully it won't happen like that time the bachelor party of my cousin, or we'll have trouble"  
*flashback*  
Brian, Stewie, disguised as a dog and other dogs were celebrating when a cat came here and every one of them growled, but the cat motioned them to come after saying  
"Bring it on, fat dogs!" and soon all the dogs attacked him but he struck them so badly and Brian tried to escape but was caught and beaten him too, Stewie then managed to escape by saying sorry  
"I will never forget you my friend!"  
*end flashback*  
"Anyway Brian, I foresee a very boring day at this ranch" said Stewie with his tone  
"Come on, maybe there's some woman who needs help in the garden" he replied as he was smoothing the hair of his head  
"I don't think, at the most you can flirt with a cow...!"  
The child tried to hold the laughter but he didn't succeed and laughed, but Brian was offended and left  
"What I said?"  
Everyone was ready for the trip, as well as Salvatore who was calmed by his wife, and they entered the car and traveled for a long time, but someone asked for something  
"Peter, tell us why bring us to a ranch?" Lois asked still confused  
"It's a secret"  
"Then tell me how it is!"  
Well, it will be awesome, there are vegetables that you have never been heard with comic names, listen, Gracidum, hehe, Leaf-Riga, a-and then Banana, hahaha!  
"But banana it's not funny as name" but Salvatore's response was interrupted by Peter who threw him out of the car with the look of the shocked passengers  
"That's what you get for spoil the fun!" and he return to drive without the Italian.  
After taken Salvatore back and arrived at the ranch, our Griffins made the acquaintance of a strange old man with a very strange hair and a rather strange name, Fighiard  
"Hi, I'm Peter Griffin, and I brought you my family, as I told you" said the man as he shook his hand at the old man  
"Excellent, now we talk about business"  
"What?" all the others shouted after hear at him  
"This ranch has been abandoned for too long and now I want someone to buy it because I would like it to come back as it was before, maybe you could accomplish this personal dream"  
But Brian told him  
"Listen, old man, I'm so sorry but we don't want to buy this dump!"  
"Come on, I beg you" and Fighiard knelt before him  
"No thanks"  
"Peter, let's get out of here" Lois said as she accompanied all to the car  
"Wait..." and Peter began to think something  
Chris, very sad, said to her mother  
"Mom, I wanted to see bulls"  
"I'm sorry, but your father has done something stupid bringing you here and..." but she was interrupted by the strange old man who said  
"I heard that guy wants to see the bulls, here they are!"  
Fighiard motioned to come to two bulls walking on two legs and very shapely under the sight of a happy blonde boy  
"Bulls!"  
"Why did you call us, Fighiard?" spoken the first bull with a dark brown coat and very muscular  
"You could make you ride to that boy? So this ranch will be bought and all will return back as usual"  
"Wait a moment, what do you mean this ranch will be bought?" Peter's wife asked confused  
The old man then explained the current situation...  
"If you will buy this place, I'll let the boy ride a bull, so, are you in?"  
"Only for me it seems a déjà vù?" asked the little child with his tone while he was in the arms of his mother, who she was indignant but at the same time sorry for her son Chris  
"Wait until we make a decision" and the woman went to take Peter for the ear, still thinking on something  
"Ah, honey, you interrupted me, I was thinking to our lives by great factors"  
"Listen Peter, how could you bargain on something without my permission and take us here just to buy this abandoned shack!"  
"Hum, well, I liked this place, and then I'd like to open it under the name MegaGriffins" he said as he imagined all the family with clothes fit with he that smoked a big cigar but it fell from his mouth and burned the whole ranch and then he launched his daughter Meg to get her something out of that place but she was engulfed in the flames and it ended up all  
"Oh crap" exclaimed Peter as his thought ended, but his wife continued to indicate his son and say  
"What shall we do now with Chris...?"  
Chris, meanwhile, was talking to the sweeter bull but drenched from the blue coat  
"So bulls, what is your life here?"  
"Well, we grazing, we beating overweight kids, and..." to hear the words Chris walked away  
"Don't be afraid, we will not hurt you, at least for now"  
Peter and Lois, after a while, had decided and while the two were about to talk, their son Chris first talked  
"We accept your offer!" and he took a bull and put it on him assisted by the other bull  
"Wow, thank you so much. It costs ten thousand dollars, thanks!" but before Lois stopped him, Peter gave him the money  
"See you soon creepy stranger!" he said greeting him as he looked the old ma leaving with the money hopping  
"Peter, and now what do we do?" asked his angry wife  
"Don't worry; I'll certainly know how to make money here"  
Finally, they went to the ranch but in the meantime Chris had been disarranged and beaten by the bulls that they escaped to go along with Fighiard  
"Noooooo!" shouted the boy left there.  
After a ranch correction and a lament of one, the Griffin were putting on clothes found there to stay on theme but on one it wasn't good  
"Damn, this doesn't go to me" Meg said as she tried the costume that was a bit tight  
Salvatore approached her and said to her  
"I help you sweetey" he kindly helped her, and with some effort she managed to wear it, her husband then kissed her but Stewie saw everything and ran away, with the following regurgitation on a nearby bush  
"Fuck!"  
"How're we supposed to earn in this half-destroyed shack?" Brian asked to the owners  
"Maybe we can grow something like a farm, it would be funny, like the time there was the parade dedicated to Godzilla" Peter said immersed in memories  
*flashback*  
Outside the house there was much mess, so curious they all looked out and saw a carriage with a dinosaur on it and others around and there were people who played and growled like dinosaurs  
"Oh man, what a idiocy" but after the dog said it, they saw Peter joining the party and he was biting everyone exclaiming  
"Viva Godzilla!"  
*end flashback*  
After a few hours to find seeds in the city and plant them, they ate the food they had in the car for special occasions  
"Delicious mom" Chris said, complimenting her  
"Thank you Chris" she answered as her husband was gobbling uninterruptedly  
"So how much will these plants grow up perfectly?" Salvatore asked  
"Let's say a month... or maybe a lifetime, depends..." Peter answered with the mouth full  
"Peter!"  
"A month? Then we won't earn here, now we will go bankrupt for you Peter" Lois shouted furious  
"Don't worry Lois, I still have my job, and then, it's nice to be here, with my family" and after he said it he strangely imagined with eyes Lois super curvy, Chris super cool, Stewie and Brian normal as usual but without the presence of his daughter and Salvatore  
"Fantastic..."  
The next day, everyone was all doing their jobs on the ranch; Chris, Brian, Meg, Salvatore and Stewie took care of animals, Lois thought of the shack and Peter invited his friends to the ranch for an old-fashioned drinking  
"What a beautiful drink in the country, isn't it?" asked the fat Peter happy  
"It's great, but you know what would be even greater? Riding a horse and drinking at the same time" said his friend with the great chin  
"You know, I'm thinking what you mean to ride..." Joe said confused, thinking badly  
"Galloping, climbing up, b-but what are you thinking, perverts" and his friend named Quagmire went offended  
"Wait, where are you going?" Peter tried to stop him, but he didn't succeed  
"Man, I haven't seen him so offended since we did him a joke with a hockey stick"  
*flashback*  
Joe and Peter were hiding behind their friend Quagmire's door and waited for him to come out for hit him with sticks, but a black-haired girl instead came out and they didn't have time to stop their plan than the girl was being hit by a hockey ball right in the face and she suddenly fainted  
Soon after, Quagmire came out this time and saw the tragedy  
"You, what have you done?!" he asked shocked putting his hands on his face  
"Well... we blow her, but you also have blow her how I see" said Peter humorous but his friend replied seriously  
"What, but if it was my sister!" and immediately the big chinned man took her and went home with tears in his eyes and called the ambulance  
"Oh oh" said Joe fleeing fast with the wheelchair  
*end flashback*  
In the ranch fence there were different types of animals, including two underweight pigs, a gay parrot, and a horse without eyes, which Chris was scared  
"Oh my god, this is monstrous, he reminds me someone" he said as he looked at the others  
"Hi good pig" said the baby genius petting him but he was swallowed up and shouted  
"Oh god spit me, spit me fu***n' pig!"  
Eventually he was helped by his dog that made him regurgitate from the pig  
"Wow, luckily you're okay, damn if I feel sorry for them" but the gay parrot repeated Brian's phrase in a different way  
"Luckily you're okay, damn if I would have a penis"  
Stewie hearing asked shocked  
"Did you hear him, Brian?"  
"Did you hear him, handsome?" repeated the parrot again by changing the sentence  
"Yeah I heard him, listen, shut up or you'll get hurt" said Brian irritated but the parrot didn't stop to answer  
"I've heard him, listen, open your mouth and relax"  
"Better not, thank you..."  
"Better yes, thank you!" and the parrot attacked Brian trying to have sex with him making laugh the little Stewie.  
Passed at least three days, all of them were very tired and out of energy for the job  
"Damn!" Peter shouted, seeing something in the nearby, maybe  
"What it is Peter?" asked his wife Lois  
"I didn't consider it a thing, the spendin' taxes!"  
"What, oh my God, and now what do we do?"  
"I don't know, crap, I didn't feel so trapped when there was the One Direction's concert"  
*flashback*  
There was the concert near the Clam and he to get out he would do anything, but one said  
"Watch out, if you go there you'll come out as a fan!" but Peter didn't listen him and after he went out he became the same as Harry Styles  
*end flashback*  
"Remember, you have put us in this situation Peter, and now find a way to get out of it!" she said as she prepared a pole to hit him but he blocked her saying calmly  
"Calm calm, we just have to wait for the plants to grow and someone will buy the animals and we'll make enormous money"  
But less than two days after...  
"Oh god, they all died!"  
Chris had discovered that the animals of the ranch had been brutally murdered by someone  
"Who has do this?!" Brian asked, scratching his head  
"Now there's only the harvest left, but I hope than from there we can get something, or I swear I'm going to do as Inception" Peter said annoyed, making the scene appear  
*start scene*  
In a strange place, a middle-aged man was in his worst nightmare, but it wasn't normal as a nightmare, because inside there was a Peter like Death shouting him gesturing  
"Mwuahahah, I'll make you eat from your mother-in-law!"  
The man fled screaming and Peter Death laughed, but there appeared the original Death than took his scythe and go away making his skeleton middle finger.  
*end scene*  
They passed another days at the ranch and the harvest was growing visibly, but to make matters worse there was a bull in the neighborhood who tried to destroy the harvest but he was shot by Peter and Chris with guns  
"Bravo my son, let's take it now and cook it!"  
"Right dad, ah!" but he was struck by another bull who launch him off at Lois, who was passing through  
"You want war? War it is!" Peter shouted, loading the rifle, but he didn't succeed and ran away quickly  
"No, leave me, I'm too fat to be gored!"  
The bull finally go away and took his dying friend and he didn't damage the harvest, but Peter had been launched in the fertilizer and was put on a hat with wrote Dumb.  
In the end, the harvest could grow, and to everyone's amazement was very inviting from the outside, so they took it quickly  
"That's beautiful Lois, now we can save the ranch!" he said enthusiastically Peter dancing and gesticulating in the meantime  
"I didn't expect this growth so fast, in short, it wasn't even passed two weeks" Brian said confused, and even Salvatore it didn't return it  
"Brian, if you suspect something, write it before, now if you don't mind I would try this..." but after Stewie tasted a tomato he felt ill and his face turned vomit-green  
"Are you all right?" the dog friend curiously asked, but the child throw up on him and walked away  
"Yuck, but what the hell, what crap are you doin' Stewie?!"  
"This thing... is disgusting, but what the deuce is...?!" and soon he lost the senses  
"Oh god, Stewie, what's going on with you?"  
"Now I just want to see if this is..." after he bitten the tomato he also turn green and spit it disgusted  
"What the hell, ugh, but this it's gone bad. I've never tasted somethin' so nasty in my life!"  
Brian immediately threw the tomato but after he turned he saw a rather neglected rabbit that said  
"I'm with you on that, dear canine friend"  
Meanwhile, Lois and the others, after pick up the vegetables, she cooked them, but Brian knew something that if he hadn't told it he would have sentenced everyone to death  
"Sorry Lois, I should tell you something" Brian said to Lois as she was preparing a salad  
"Tell me Brian" replied friendly  
"Well, I have noticed that these vegetables that have grown so fast, well... " but he was interrupted by a noise and to her than said  
"It's ready!" and she ran to put food on the table  
"Lois stop!" he shouted and thanks to her shout she tripped and the salad dropped to the ground, annoying everyone  
"Hey Brian, but what did you do?!"  
"Yeah, we wanted to eat" said Salvatore irritated  
"Listen to me, I tasted this stuff, it looks mature, but it has a horrible taste!"  
"Well, sure Brian, you want it all for you how I hear"  
"No..."  
"If it's so, eat it all!" said Peter, pointing to the salad on the ground  
"But I don't want it..." it was useless for him to contradict, he was forced to eat that food and he felt bad under the family's look  
"Brian, that monsters!" shouted Stewie looking at him  
Lois picked up Brian and took him to bed trying to make him feel better but he took a vision of a zombie squirrel that took his guts and laughed sadistically and he vomited everywhere  
Hours later, everyone was in meeting on what to do with that bad food and Lois shouted first  
"What we will do now, we are without money, no animals and no food!"  
"Don't worry about Lois, I've already said it, well, I contacted that strange guy and now he will face me!"  
"How did you do?"  
"I just searched his name on Facecock and there was only him" but suddenly the old man came with his survived bull galloping him and told to the family man  
"Why did you contact me Griffin?!"  
"Well..." and he took it for the shirt and shouted threateningly  
"You gave me a useless shack like dust for the eyes, now repay me everything!"  
"Calm down man, maybe I forgot to tell you that here grow only things gone bad"  
"What?"  
"You son of a, now gimme back my green sheets, immediately!" he shouted ready to strike him, even if he was old  
"I'm sorry, hehe, someone stole them, hehe..."  
Lois to hear that sentence she got mad, she moved Peter, took Fighiard and threw him like a javelin to the east  
"Amazing, mom, you were great!" exclaimed her daughter while she was watching the scene amazed  
"And now what we do, we're ruined, and it's all your fault!" Lois cried while she was preparing to do the same thing with her husband but a van passed here and one inside of it said  
"Hi, I'm looking for the owner of this farm ranch" spoken a man with black hair and a grim smile asking for the man  
"Yeah, it's me, why?"  
"I'm looking for nasty vegetables, do you have it?"  
Peter answered him confused  
"What? Of course, take them as well, we're carnivores" and took all the vegetables and he took so many banknotes and threw them to the sky  
"There's one hundred thousand dollars for the inconvenience, see ya!"  
The van goes away leaving surprised all those present, except for the old Fighiard's bull that took a few banknotes and fled nervously.  
Returned to Griffins' home, all took off those rude clothes and the housekeeper said sitting on the sofa together with the others  
"Wow, how lucky we are to sell that stuff to that type, but who knows what it will do..."  
"We will never know" said the son Chris as he picked up an apple and bite it, first he become purple, then green and then black  
"Chris, where did you take that apple?!" Lois asked him, but she didn't have any sign to him, in fact, she had it, by her husband  
"Well Lois, I lied when I said that I gave it all our harvest, I brought it a bit like I remember here... " and shortly afterwards she threw him like a hammer destroying the door, and then the baby said referring to the camera  
"And so, the adventure ended, the end"

 **END**


	6. Griffon Guy

It started the opening credits normally, but meanwhile everybody suddenly went from normal became griffons and when concluded appeared the title, but it says GRIFFON GUY. Only one type moved the writing and appeared the right title  
The episode began by framing a very familiar nest house, and inside it there was a large white griffon with a brown mane, a green trouser and wearing funny glasses, which was usually read the newspaper on his straw but the his sharp claws cut the newspaper and he exclaimed irritated  
"Damn Grifois, you should take me another journal!"  
"No Grifeter, that would be your job!" the female griffon said coming near to her griffon husband  
She was turquoise and had the orange mane and wore a bra at difference of other female griffins and had a beige trouser  
"What the hell..." he got up and flew up to the mailbox outside the home but there was nothing inside and he broke it with a paw  
"Oh, and now what do I do, Grifris, come here now!"  
In the nearby came a blue and overweight griffon as the father with blonde mane, a black and yellow hat and he wore unusually rough black pants  
"Yes dad?" asked him with his carefree tone  
"I wish you go to the newsagent to pick one of today!" he pointed to the west but his wife griffon asked him from far  
"Why do you ask it at your son?"  
"Yeah, why me?"  
The housegriffer replied serious  
"Because the last time I went to the newsagent he didn't give it to me!"  
*flashback*  
"I want a newspaper please" Grifeter in the flashback was to the newsagent and was about to pick up the newspaper but he took it back by force causing it to tear and said  
"Wait, this is not for you fat!"  
"Hey, what, why?" he was confused, and the newsagent griffon replied  
"I'll tell you why" and he pointed a very clear writing in the newspaper that disappointed him  
"Suitable only for lean griffons"  
*end flashback*  
"Okay, I'll go!"  
Quickly, Grifris ran on all fours towards the newsagent while the albino griffon return to sat down on the straw and wondered  
"But he hasn't yet learned to fly?"  
Meanwhile in the city, a young female griffon with pink hair, round glasses, brunette mane and with blue jeans and a fuchsia cap was flying to cool off the mind when she collided with another griffon that had red hair, the mane with a darker shade of brown, and even he was wearing a pair of jeans  
"Sorry, I didn't see you, I'm sorry" she apologized, but the other, staring at her, said gallantly  
"Never mind, by the way, you are so cute today"  
She was so embarrassed that she didn't fall to the ground  
"Oh thank you, usually no one gives me compliments, rather, they give me only pecks, and even stronger"  
*flashback*  
The pink griffon here was pecked all the time by all the locals, and in so many different scenes, even herself for fleas.  
*end flashback*  
"What kind of monsters, they shouldn't mess with a mane as gorgeous as yours"  
To hear him, she was ecstatic and was losing control of the flight but he helped her not to do so  
"Anyway, my name is Grifalvatore, and you?" he presented himself cordially giving the paw  
"Grifeg, m-my pleasure"  
"Well, peck you later, goodbye" and he left leaving Grifeg strangely charmed  
"I wonder if he might be my soul mate, ah, that Grif..." but a purple female griffon, blonde and with red shorts silenced her by shouting in her face  
"Shut up, Grucker!"  
Meanwhile, the blonde griffon came from the newsagent with a bit of effort but...  
"Hi, I need to take today's newspaper" said Grifris to the newsagent  
"Wait a moment" and he took the required newspaper with the beak and handed it to him  
"It's ten cents... wait!"  
"Here they are" but he to take the money ripped his pants with his claws and he remained naked, in a way or another, and cried  
"Aahh!"  
People in the neighborhood started to laugh and he ran away with the newspaper but stumbled and scratched it with his claws, finally the newspaper was picked up by the newsagent who ate it  
"Oh god, how embarrassing, I wasn't so embarrassed since the last time I played attack the tail digitally"  
*flashback*  
Grifris participated in a game in a place and after he put on the glasses for the augmented reality finally he entered the game  
He had to stick the tail to another griffon player, but the other was nothing else than...  
"Hey, Grifris, what you do, it's me, Grifeg"  
"Oh crap, at least I can attack your tail, right?" Grifris asked in an attempt to win  
"No, because you lost!" and he saw that he had a tail in the lower parts and he hear laughter from far and he fled embarrassed from the game  
*end flashback*  
At Griffon home it was all quiet, except for the roaring sounds from above  
"So it roars son!" Grifeter was teaching a small yellow griffon with black tufts and a red overalls, who was also his son, how to roaring but he wasn't so good  
"Graaa, blargh..." and he spat out a fur ball like cats  
"But what are you, a horny cat?!" but a cat that was there was offended and left the room indignantly  
"I'm sorry daddy, but I can't roar, if I could just take Mama's vocal chords..." and he imagined in his mind to cut the throat to Grifois and take her tongue and swallow it  
"Then Grifewie, I'll tell you one last time, do so, ROAR!"  
Grifeter shouted so hard to throw the little one out of the window  
"Oh hell" and the big griffon flew to save him but a dog from the white fur nearby had preceded him  
"Watch where you fall small one"  
"Thanks unknown form of life" replied the baby going down from his arms  
"I'm a dog" but the dog's words shocked the little griffon  
"Wait what, you, do you understand me?!"  
"Sure, why? There's nothing strange"  
"There's something strange, everyone not understands me, it's like talk to a wall!"  
"Hey, don't offend me too!" shouted a home wall with his angry face  
The griffon father came and saw his son healthy and safe and immediately thanked the dog  
"Oh thank you so much dog, I will be forever debtor"  
"Well, pleasure is mine, now I should..." but Grifewie stopped him and said  
"Wait, I want you to stay, we can become great friends"  
"Well, I have dog things to do..." he thought all sorts of things from the dog but soon forgot all  
"All right, to repay, I could watch your son"  
Grifeter, scratching his feathers, answered immediately afterwards  
"Hum, I should ask it at my wife, the last time I didn't ask her something she got mad"  
*flashback*  
When Grifois saw Grifeter buy a tablet spending all their money, and then it broke soon after, she went on a rampage and scratched her husband with the albino fur and hit him brutally  
"Goddamnit!" shouted along with screams  
*end flashback*  
Arrived evening in Quahog, everyone in the family had gathered to eat, and in the meantime Grifeter asked one thing  
"Guys listen; do you know what happened hours ago?"  
"What?" replied his wife after ate spaghetti and dodged an item  
"Our younger son has been saved by a dog, and I would like to keep him for watch him, are you in?"  
"What? We can't keep a dog at home, remember what has happened to the cat that we had three months ago?!"  
*flashback*  
A gray cat barely adopted had returned home, but after a few seconds the whole family tried to run after him to eat him and eventually the cat jumped from the window  
"Those fools!" said scared, but soon after a blue and black griffon ate him without mercy.  
*end flashback*  
"I know Grifois, but it won't happen to him. By the way, I would like to introduce him, here he is" and motioned to come with the wing and the dog came and greeted  
"Hello everyone!"  
"What a beautiful dog, it's cute" Grifeg said softly  
"Come on, puppy!"  
The blue griffon motioned him to come but when the animal approached him enough, the griffon ate it in one bite, shocking the small yellow griffon  
"Hey, bad, spit him right now!" shouted the boss griffon and he obeyed  
"I think, I think he needs domestication" but the dog wasn't so well...  
"Yuck, what the hell of family is this?!" he exclaimed as he was drying shaking himself the drool  
"Look out, you splashing all over the food!" shouted Grifois, guarding herself with the wing, meanwhile than another griffon spy from the window  
"Sorry..." apologized the white-haired dog and sat down on the floor  
"So, can we keep it?" asked happy Grifeter wagging his tail like a dog  
"I don't think so, Grifris almost eat it!" answered the wife, pointing to her son  
"I'm sorry, it was the emotion..."  
"And if something happens to him, I will take responsibility for him, as when I brought our daughter to the flight lessons for the first time"  
*flashback*  
Father and daughter were to the flying lessons and a young Grifeg tried to fly but she fell and was derided by everyone, but a green griffon with glasses approached and told her gallantly giving her his wing  
"I can help you"  
"Go away Grifeil!" she said, escaping from the stalker but her father took her and thrown her strong and she crashed into a tree and all looked bad at him, but he nervously said pointing to Grifeil  
"It-It was him!" and he flew away flying at supersonic speed.  
*end flashback*  
"Okay..." said now convinced Grifois  
"Thank you, now I introduce myself, my name's Brian, nice to meet you" he said as he bowed, and Grifeter presented the family pointing them with the wing  
"My name's Grifeter, and she's my beautiful wife Grifois, my little griffin you have saved is called Grifewie, and they are my children" the latest phrases, however, had said them with a strangely annoyed tone  
Arrived the morning, Brian the dog was looking Grifewie and Grifeter was going to have a great day to spend after his work, he would go along in the Hornyn' Clam with his friends for drink malt and straw beer until they fainting  
"See you later Grifois" greeted him as he came out of the house flying  
"See you soon Grifeter..." but she saw her husband crashing on a pole and she chuckled  
"So Brian, what did you do before?" Grifewie asked him curious about his life  
"Well, I was a stray dog, I didn't have a home, neither my real family, I had nothing..." and he saddened  
"Okay, no tears in the show, now we're thinking about what to do" he said, breaking the fourth wall routine and the two wondered what to do for a while and then, suddenly...  
"I have an idea, why do not we humble some griffins? I just have the right thing to do" Grifewie had just taken a flamethrower from his "toys"  
"Oh, what you want to do with that thing? It's not for little of your age!" and he tried to seize it but the small winged one blocked him  
"Stop, I know how to use it, and then it's not deadly"  
Brian was impatient thinking of the worst  
"Come on, let's go" he shouted the little griffon while he went away, but then, looking that the dog wasn't following him, he turned back  
"What you do, the Statue of Liberty?"  
"No, it's okay... I come" and he chased him, but in his mind he had a bad idea. Meanwhile, Grifeg, while fluttering with her friends, Grifatty, Grifesther and Grifuth, she found by chance the red griffon she had met the day before  
"Oh hi Grifeg, what a coincidence to find you again" he said to her  
"Hi how are you?" she asked embarrassed once more  
"Good, sweetey, and you?" and she immediately blushed for the unusual nickname and said embarrassed  
"G-Good..."  
One of the griffon girl friends told her  
"Wow Grifeg, take advantage of it, that's your guy, not too snobbish, not too stubborn, but not too loser. You know, you should go out with him"  
"So, since we are here, we can go out with your friends and see a movie" said Grifalvatore gallant  
"Well, we're going to see exactly a movie and..." but she was interrupted by the red griffon who asked her  
"Can we see it together?"  
Say yes, say yes she repeatedly said in her mind the friend with the yellow fur Grifuth  
"S-Sure that..." and the female griffon stopped suddenly  
"But what are you do, say yes" said her friend from the red and yellow fur Grifatty, seeing the male turn  
"Well, if it's a nuisance to be with you, I should go..."  
"NO!" Grifeg suddenly shouted  
After turning from their direction, Grifalvatore got the answer  
"Hum, I say, it would be better to go smoothly, so tonight we will go out together, what do you say?" she asked embarrassed  
"Certainly, we'll see you tonight Grifeg, bye" and he flew away while the friends were both happy and disappointed  
"You did the right thing, but this was the opportunity to know him better" said confused the light blue griffon Grifesther  
"Come on girls, or we will lose the show, I don't want to do as that strange time in the hospital"  
*flashback*  
Here instead of starting the real flashback, a technical griffon with German accent said in an electric blue background  
"Sorry, there're problems with the video, try again later"  
*end flashback*  
During the evening, Grifeg and Grifalvatore met in a four star restaurant, according to critics, nearby and it was a bit crowded  
"So where do you work?" she asked, breaking the ice with the beak...  
"Well, so far I'm just taking the papers and doing the assistant cook, but I manage them quite well" he made an enchanted look and then continued  
"And you, do you have a job? Ah wait, I don't think so" while he answered, he had a joking tone confusing the pink griffon  
"How you know about this thing?"  
"Well... intuition?" he said a little nervous, as if he knew something  
"It doesn't matter, anyway let's get to know each other better, I like honesty, people appreciate me for what I am..."  
"I like you" he replied suddenly leaving Grifeg embarrassed  
"Okay... now, favorite kind of music?"  
"Pop and Dance for chic griffons"  
"Me too! Favorite color?"  
"Red, as the heart than beats me fast" he said with charmed eyes Grifalvatore  
"Well, let's move forward, first crush...?" but someone came into the restaurant and frightened everyone present  
"What the hell, it doesn't seem like a good idea Grifewie, are not they arrest you?!"  
He was talking Brian to Grifewie trying to stop him by any means  
"Only this restaurant please, and then we'll finish everything, I would like to end up like that time at the Town Hall"  
*flashback*  
The Griffon's City Town Hall was intact but soon it explodes in a big explosion and Grifewie nearby cleared his feet on the body of the unconscious griffon Mayor and he ran laughing sadistically.  
*end flashback*  
Grifalvatore saw worried a small griffon use a flamethrower, terrorizing nearby customers and sending everything into fire  
"Haha, the victory will be mine here too!"  
"But also not!" exclaimed a griffon in the vicinity but he was toasted  
"What's happening?" shouted Grifeg, feeling the noise and she was astonished to see his brother making burn all and she exclaimed  
"Grifewie?!"  
Meanwhile, at the Hornyn' Clam...  
"It's great to have a beer in the evening when the local is closing, without our grife and without customers disturbing" said a red griffon with yellow flower patches with a big abnormal chin, a blue trouser and black hair  
"Yeah, we didn't have fun since we were go to that abandoned amusement park" said a dark yellow griffon and overweight with a mustache  
"Wait, but we never went to an abandoned park!" said a gray fur griffon confused, and he was seated in a wheelchair with light brown hair  
"Gee, sorry, staying here makes me uncomfortable, like the time in the pharmacy"  
*flashback*  
Grifeveland was here with his white wife in the Goldman pharmacy and asked a griffon with the glasses  
"Hello Grifort, I would, I would buy that item"  
"Which item?" asked the other confused  
"A strange item, to please my wife Grifonna, you know what I mean..." he said embarrassed, but his uncomfortable wife said to him  
"Please Grifeveland let me do it"  
But Grifeveland said  
"I'll handle that... well, you know, that plastic thing"  
"Ah, you mean the Grifervative" said Grifort like nothing happened  
"Yup..."  
"It costs twenty grifollars anyway" but he had a problem and told him at Grifonna  
"Shit, Grifonna, you have the money?"  
She, with her tone, said irritably  
"No, I thought you had it"  
"And now what we do..." he said sheepishly as he tried to retreat, but he was stopped by peck by the pharmacy owner and Grifonna had to make compensation by washing the medicine desk.  
*end flashback*  
"So, last night we invited a dog to home, you know, he saved my son's life" said proud Grifeter  
"Grifeg?" asked the paraplegic griffon  
"No, silly, Grifewie!"  
"Oh, do you know your daughter looks like a male griffon, right?"  
"More or less yes, if she puts something more, how I say, provocative, then she would have more chance to make out" said the yellow and mustached griffon  
Everyone continued to drink beer until a call came to Grifeter  
"Oh it ring my ass, that's cool" he said amused  
"It's a call, answer it!" said the gray griffon and Grifeter after taking a cell phone with difficulty asked one thing  
"Helloh, it says so right?" one of his friends nodded and answered the phone; to the phone was the wife who said quickly  
"Grifeter, Grifeg called me and told me she went to the restaurant with a griffon and now she's trapped in the flames, you have to save her!"  
"Crap, but why not save her the firegriffons, or you, I'm busy, I have more important things to extinguish the horny ardor of our grif... " but he was interrupted by Grifois than shouted  
"Now!"  
"Okay, okay" and he threw away the phone pissed  
"So what happened Grifeter?" asked the disabled curious griffon  
"Grifoe, Griflenn and Grifeveland, we have to save lives, at the PeterMobile" and after the real Peter's face appeared on the screen, but was replaced by Grifeter's face right after  
Meanwhile, at the restaurant on fire...  
"Damn Grifewie, naughty, what are you doing with such a thing? And Brian, why did you not stop him?!" she asked the griffon to the dog  
"Hey, he didn't want to hear any reason, its crazy your little brother, you know?" he answered as he tried again to stop Grifewie, who said irritably  
"How dare you call me crazy, or do you want to end up like Ernie?!" and it was realistically framed the giant chicken well cooked and roasted with potatoes around in a plate  
"Stop, bad little brother!" Grifeg shouted, holding him for a wing, but immediately Grifewie shake her off  
"Ah, you're there bitch, then if you have found me, I'll should kill you!" and ferociously he pointed to her the flamethrower with a maniacal look but before the little brother can do something immediately Grifalvatore stood before  
"Stop there, little one!"  
"What do you want grif***le?"  
"Don't try to touch her, first you'll have to pass on myself!" but a few seconds later, the red griffon was totally hit by the flamethrower  
Grifalvatore screamed in fire and Brian tried to find something to turn him off, while Grifeg tried desperately to use the wings to turn him off but he was moving too far, and he was about to die, but Grifeter and his gang came destroying the wall and roaring the flames than covered Grifalvatore and they ran away in horror.  
After the red griffin passed out from the pain of burns, Grifewie attempted an escape but was hit by Brian with a bottle and Grifeg meanwhile, thanked his father and the others and carefully they took the victim. Then led him to the hospital, Grifalvatore had the fur almost all burnt and Grifeg explained the regrettable situation lying to her parents  
"Sorry mom and dad, I was coming out with him and a candle was fall burning everything"  
"Fortunately everything was fine, not like that way with our uncle Grifark"  
"Hey Grifeg..." said Grifalvatore suddenly  
"Oh, yes, Grifalvatore?"  
"I know that it's not appropriate here, but you want to be my girlfriend?"  
The question stunned everyone, including the griffon doctor, than was looking the center  
"Well... yes, just don't risk your life anymore for me"  
"Don't worry, I will sweetey"  
"It's not deadly, uh, he was about to die!" Brian said to Grifewie  
"I was wrong, sorry..." he replied lying the young griffon  
Finally, Grifois raised his wings and said warmly  
"All is well that ends well right?"  
"Of course not!"  
To say it, it was a brown and white brown female griffon that came right after in the room  
"Who are you?!" asked the black and white doctor  
"Listen to me, I was just kicked out of my show and now I want to go in yours, can I?" she asked kindly approaching them  
"No!" Grifeter said, making her angry  
The female griffon puffed and go away offended, leaving everyone in silence, but the whole story at the end was just an imagination of Stewie if he had changed his ancestor's surname from Griffin to Griffon  
"Damn, maybe it's better to be humans..." but when he got down the stairs, Stewie saw horrified Peter drinking and farting at the same time, Lois dressed provocatively dancing at a rhythm of a song, Chris picking his nose while eating a sandwich, Meg with Salvatore making out in the couch, and Brian along with an unknown woman who slept drunk on the ground drunk  
"Bah..." and disgusted he go away quickly.

 **END**


	7. Child Frightening

**Hey people, what time no see, sorry for this long delay, but I'd many problems and have forgot this...**

 **But don't worry, starting at now, every day a chapter, see that I have already ended all... two years ago...**

 **Enjoy ;)**

That day was going well for Brian the dog and Stewie the child than were playing with Rupert the teddy bear in the living room...  
"Brian to report, Brian to report, over!" repeated the baby, talking in a walkie-talkie to call his dog friend  
"Yes, sergeant Stewie, I'm here, over"  
He was pretty annoyed by this game, but he had to play, or his friend would threaten him to death, and he knew he could go any further  
The kid with the abnormal head then said in a lieutenant of war tone  
"Careful soldier, in the vicinity there should be a dangerous giant, your goal is to eliminate him and bring me his corpse, over!"  
"Okay, over and out"  
Fortunately this time has ended well Brian thought while carefully, he goes into the kitchen, came close to the supposed giant, which appeared to be just the Stewie's teddy bear  
"Come on, and this would be a giant?" he exclaimed, bored and disappointed and he struck him with a strong kick and he fell to the ground powerless  
Brian then took him up and irritated gave him to captain Stewie who told him proudly  
"Good cadet Brian, now we have a snack, I have here some not-so bad cookies" but the dog remembered something that made him say, raising his finger  
"Stewie, I hope they're not like those of last week, or will be painful"  
*flashback*  
In the flashback Brian bite a fresh baked chocolate cookie, but it hurt his teeth because it looked like a fossilized stone and he tossed it away  
"What the?"  
The stone biscuit strangely bounced all over the house until it came to the head of the house wife girl who was going down the stairs, making losing her senses falling painfully  
After, the cookie ended for some reason in the oven and it relaxed while the Italian husband of the striked girl took his loved one and comically he pulled her up the stairs.  
*end flashback*  
After ten minutes passed to eat and fart...  
"Ah, excellent Brian, we're now ready to conquer the..." but the genius baby was interrupted by a very unusual noise in the upper room  
"What's going on upstairs?" asked curious Brian  
"I've no idea, maybe will be only those two fat guys than was bouncing on the bed"  
*start scene*  
"It's funny, isn't it Chris?"  
Speaking here was the man named Peter who was together with his blonde son jumping into the marriage bed while the wife of the man annoyed and in underwear shouted him  
"Yeah, but let our son go away and let's have a good time"  
"Come on mom, five more minutes"  
"Yuppie!" they exclaimed the two bouncing but for the weight, the bed cracked in two making scream painfully the woman wife.  
"Oh, holy crap!"  
*end scene*  
"Let's check out Stewie"  
The two walked fast to the stairs, and after go up they heard loud groans and a flapping of wings coming from Stewie's room, so they became more suspicious and ran faster than they could to the baby's room  
"What the hell is going on here?!"  
After arrived, they found something unimaginable, there was a dying stork, carrying something big, slumped to the ground  
"How did you come here?!" the child, threatened, he immediately took a rifle from the couch and aimed at them  
The stork told him, begging with little strength he had  
"Please, help me..."  
"Stewie, look!"  
Brian pointed to something close to the stork, it was a blanket, but they were not sure if it is what they thought, so the stork didn't waste time and make them see what was next to her, it was a baby covered with a yellow blanket and gave him to them  
"Please, take him safe..."  
"Wait a minute, you'd come in without knocking and you want our help?" Stewie asked confused but the stork managed to explain something to him just in time  
"Please, I can't protect him anymore, I saw your window open, and I went with the little strength I had... I..."  
The dog noticed that the animal had the chest wound and bleeding  
"Stewie, I think we should take her to the hospital!" he said quickly  
"I don't think we can do anything, and then dear stork, you should go out from here" but the stork didn't moved anymore, she'd died unfortunately  
"Stork?"  
"Oh my god Stewie, she's dead, and now?!" he said panicking Brian  
"Well... "  
Stewie looked meanwhile the baby she had brought, he had a brown tuft but with a lost look, and after a while to figure out the situation, the baby genius said  
"We can't do anything, let's go"  
"And you're let him here?!" he exclaimed, pointing him  
"And what we have to do, do the babysitters like that time at the cemetery? Forget it!"  
*flashback*  
The two were taking a baby girl who had recently lost their parents that she began to ask for everything and yelling words  
"I want food, I want my mother, I want the death of all, I want to..." but Stewie hit her with a sledgehammer making her shut up, annoying Brian  
"Stewie!"  
"Sorry, but this was necessary"  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile in the lower floors, the newly couple of Quahog was about to go for a romantic walk and for think on the life, but they were followed from a very large and familiar person...  
"Hi dad" she greeted him friendly, seeing him behind her  
"Oh, hi..."  
Her husband, Salvatore, asked him a little suspicious  
"What are you doing, follow us?"  
"No, I was just following your every move..." but he rephrased the phrase embarrassed, indignating the boy  
"I mean, I was going where you go. Where are you going?"  
"To the park"  
"Okay..." and suddenly he ran off the other side running for miles to the end of Quahog just to exclaim  
"Oh crap, I hate the park!"  
At Griffin's home, however, after a stork is dead in front of them, the two friends were undecided about what to do for the child he had with her  
"Tell me Stewie, what should we do?"  
The little genius, after a general calculation and looking at his canine friend, he said now decided to save the baby  
"Hum, it will not be easy Brian, maybe we'll just lose time, but if you want to help her, let's do this!"  
"Don't worry, but wait, how we know who to give him if we don't have a name or somethin'?" asked confused scratching his fur  
"It's your problem man, you want to bring this brat..." but he was interrupted by the crying of the child who was so loud that Lois noticed the noise from the kitchen and said  
"What, who's crying?" and she ran to see the situation  
"What the hell Stewie, calm him down, or we'll get in trouble like Cookie Monster!" Brian shouted panickedly again imploring him  
*start scene*  
A blue and big being was running away from a gang of killer clowns and he goes successfully into an elevator for lost them but he realized he wasn't alone.  
With him there's a small clown in the elevator shouting to him, pointing to a woman with brown spots, even her inside  
"Pay this good biscuit, now!" and he pointed a gun to him.  
*end scene*  
"Okay okay, stay calm little one, there's uncle Stewie who will cuddle you and help you, and maybe even something else" he pet him gently, making him calm, but Lois had arrived and Brian took the baby and hid him behind him  
"Brian, but Stewie maybe was crying?!"  
"Well... "  
Stewie winked at him and he lied telling  
"Yeah, he wanted this toy and I calmed him down" and showed to her a random train and gave it to Stewie who smiled  
"Oh, don't worry my little baby, don't cry anymore okay?" she gave him a kiss on his forehead and went away happy  
"Wow, that's too close, now let's bring him to his family and remove this pebble from my shoe" Stewie said as he really took a pebble from his shoe and walked away from the sight.  
Meanwhile, arrived at the park, and sat on the ground, the two lovebirds were relaxing and telling past, present and future events...  
"And just like that I was rejected by the school, for the second time in a row"  
"It's terrible, thankfully I've finished my studies, but not with good results, hehe" Meg said, lowering her head embarrassed  
He put his hand on her shoulder and calmed her  
"Don't think about it, now how about walking a bit, will you?"  
"Sure" and they walked hand in hand, encountering so strange guys until they go too far and saw a good point to sit down but it was near a dangerous creep  
Salvatore wanted to go but his "sweetey" shouted at him stopping  
"Stop, it could be dangerous!"  
"Don't worry, if we sit here, we can see the sunset later you know?" and he sat on the grass but Meg didn't come near and he tried to convince her making gesture to her to coming  
"Come on, sweetey, come here, don't be afraid, it won't happen like three days ago there"  
*flashback*  
The two here were going along with Brian and Peter at a space station and they were trying zero gravity for an idea of the fat man, but in the end there was a failure and gravity went crazy making them go up and down making them vomit  
"Oh, goddamn fuck, stop this thing..." then said Salvatore, all dirty of everybody's vomiting  
*end flashback*  
"Okay, if you say so I trust you... " and she sat next to her beloved and he put his hand on her shoulder to stay close  
"See? Nothing will happen, now here, alone in the world, we could do something..."  
"What kind...?" she asked with a seductive accent, thinking of something, but Salvatore answered calmly  
"We could maybe talk about our future baby"  
"Ah, yeah..."  
F**k exclaimed annoyed in her mind and shortly afterwards she touched gently her belly  
"Do you know I've never felt this feeling before? It's so strange and hot"  
"Oh, it will be nice when that day will come, right my sweetey?"  
"Sure, but mom says that when will come it make me very painful, I hope she's not right, or it will be worse than that time we went to that strange beach"  
*flashback*  
Meg there felt strangely ill while she was to the sea, and Salvatore tried to help her but she screamed so loud that the sea frightened ran away and there remains only sand, revealing a monster as the Loch Ness like Peter  
"Hey, you weren't expecting it, uh?"  
*end flashback*  
Brian and Stewie meanwhile were looking for the baby's family searching on the Internet and asking people in the near, but nothing seemed to give answers  
"It's no use, this kid has no family" Stewie said exhausted  
"There must be something we can do, and if we adopt him?" asked Brian, but Stewie didn't agree on this...  
"Are you kidding? I don't want another burden to the family. I have you, the fat drunkard, the red bitch, the loser idiot and even that monster with her monster boyfriend!"  
"Hey, we cannot abandon him, the stork has told us to bring him safe"  
The genius friend answered him calmly this time  
"Look, we don't have anymore choices, we should take him to the orphanage now"  
"Maybe you're right, Stewie" and they walked in but then a woman who saw them with that baby came up shocked and screamed  
"Hey stop, that's my baby!"  
They turned and saw her, she looked like the baby but she had a strange black dress and a black hat  
"What, he's yours?!" asked Brian shocked  
"Of course, now give him back sh***y thiefs!"  
The woman immediately took the child from the arms of the dog and pet him in a strange way  
"Sorry, we were looking for his mother after we found him close to a stork and..." Brian apologized for the incident but was interrupted by the mother  
"Sure sure, now let's go home Johnny" and she walked away, leaving them puzzled and strangely satisfied  
"Wow, all is well that ends well, right Stewie?" but Stewie was suspicious about it and said  
"She doesn't convince me, that dress, has something strange, like an ant at the vegetable department"  
*start scene*  
An ant was selling vegetables in a supermarket for an unknown purpose and shortly after the boss of the department crushed him under shocked look of the ants' customers and he said  
"Hum, take that... bitch?!"  
*end scene*  
It was about to end the afternoon, and the householder Peter, bored, was traveling all over Quahog with his car until he went to Joe's house to drink a beer together, but first he had to help him in his household chores  
"Well Peter, now I should change Susie, Bonnie unfortunately isn't at home, but you can help me wash these clothes and then iron them"  
"What do you think I am, a Mexican waitress?!" exclaimed the guest  
"No, but it would be nice if you would help me before she came back" and Joe started changing the diaper to his daughter but Peter was distracted  
"Bonnie or the maid? I didn't understand, I was playing with this thing" he was spending time with a teaser  
"Hey, go easy on Peter, where did you get it?" he asked, raising his hands feeling threatened  
"Well, from here, but I'll enjoy it for a while, and will be more excitin' like that time I met Michael Jackson in person"  
*flashback*  
"Oh Michael, can you do an autograph to my butt?" asked Peter showing it to him, but there was something weird, he didn't really look like him  
"I told you, I'm not Michael Jackson!" he shouted annoyed holding his fists  
"At least you're a ghost, right?"  
"Neither, now go away!" said the guy who was going away, but Peter called all his family to know him and he was surrounded  
"Oh my god, Michael, can you turn into a monster?" the blonde boy Chris asked, but Brian shouted angry  
"But don't you see it's not him, you bunch of idiots!"  
"Wow Michael, what a thrill to see you" Meg said  
"Please give me your autograph here!" Lois said, pointing to her boobs  
"Somebody help me to this bunch of insanes!"  
He suddenly runs away doing the Moonwalker making remain Brian speechless  
"What did I say to you" Peter said with the taste of victory in his mouth.  
*end flashback*  
In the middle of the dangerous creep...  
"In summary, if it is male we decided to call Mark or Peter Jr., right?"  
"Yeah, and if it is a female we will call her Mina or Melanie"  
After having finished to discussing, Meg and Salvatore watched the sunset in peace and they were about to kiss, but something else attracted their attention, some strangely acute verses behind them  
"Who's there?"  
The boy then saw a two-legged bear with the tie and a blue trouser that was drunk and was swinging while saying nonsense  
"What the..." Salvatore asked himself bewildered, seeing the scene  
"Damn... Cleveland... where are you... I want you..." the bear was saying random phrases and suddenly he come close to the couple threateningly  
"Oh, he's going on us, watch out" Meg said, getting up from the grass and trying to get her safe, but the bear pointed to her unsteadily and said to her  
"Hi Roberta, how did you become... strange... did you go maybe to Mars?"  
"Hey, other series' bear, what are you doing here?!" asked Salvatore, putting between them.  
The orange-colored animal then told him in a still confused state  
"Wow... F-Federline, you seem so appetizing, you know I'd ate you all..." and soon after he run into him with all fours, so Salvatore tried to run away but he was pushed together with his wife in the creep by the bear than finally said  
"Oh man, I just hope they don't end up like dyslexic E.T"  
*start scene*  
The bear imagined a malformed alien who said random things and tried to fly with his boy with a bicycle but he exclaimed  
"I'm flying like T.E!" and he melt leaving the boy falling with the bicycle in the total void  
*end scene*  
Meanwhile luckily Salvatore had clung to a thick branch holding the hand of Meg in the middle of the creep, and the two were afraid that if broke the branch they would die  
"Oh god, I'm scared!" exclaimed upset Meg trembling, making them swing  
"No, hey, don't worry, now let's try to return to that fucking bear!"  
He tried to rise somewhat but he was stuck with the jacket in the branch  
"Oh crap!" exclaimed terrorized  
"What is it?!"  
"W-We can't move, we're stuck!" and it was at that point that Meg got angry with him and she cried to him  
"It's all your fault, if we weren't put on that creep we wouldn't be here!"  
"You're right sweetey, I'm a stupid, I feel like Peter when he had acute pneumonia"  
*flashback*  
While the family man coughed to the house, he had also comic movements and they all laughed, and he continued so until he made a fart and everyone ran away for the stench and he giggled, but soon he coughed again and the video disappeared.  
*end flashback*  
Salvatore tried to move cautiously but he almost didn't made fall his wife; they were condemned...  
"Heck, I don't want to die, there are too many things I still do, like die of age together!" shouted the Italian scared  
The girl, resigned herself to the fate, said to him  
"Unfortunately, because of you, yes, but I have an idea, why don't we tell secrets before we die?"  
Salvatore, after sighed, replied  
"Great idea, I don't want to lie you anymore... " but to hear him, Meg suddenly cried loudly  
"Are you lying to me?!"  
The boy, a bit nervous, told her  
"No, for the love no, I really love you, but there is something I haven't yet told you..."  
"C'mon, tell me everythin'!"  
Meanwhile, the father with the white shirt Peter, returned home shortly afterwards and Lois had prepared dinner and called everyone, but when she called her daughter's name, no one answered and continued calling her  
"Meg, you're alive or you committed suicide?" but nothing was heard yet and Peter said to Lois  
"Lois, maybe she go out with her man to make party or something horrible, like scaring the kids of the area like last Halloween"  
*flashback*  
Meg and Salvatore were going to the house of the others to do trick or treat, she wears normal clothes and he was a zombie  
The people however didn't offer them the candies, so Meg raised her shirt and the people have greatly exaggerated reactions but useful, like pull out their eyes and eat them and run away screaming or exploding like a bomb, especially Neil, than he saw her, he was indifferent for a moment, but he broke into a thousand pieces like a puzzle.  
"Great, now Quagmire..."  
*end flashback*  
Concerned, Lois ordered her husband to do something  
"Go look for them, maybe they're going to make some romantic things in that park near that dangerous creep!"  
"Okay, but at least wrap me up the dinner" and the woman in the green blouse really did it and after he took it, the man ran away but the son Chris went to Meg's room, put on her clothes, and said under horrified eyes of all  
"Here I am, mom!"  
The little Stewie then said very surprised  
"Look, it's her, she looks different, but it's her!" and Brian put his palm on his disappointed face  
Our Peter looked at that point high and low but he encountered somebody unpleasant in the journey, the notorious giant chicken  
The chicken had just made an operation on the teeth, and Peter hit him straight in the face because he had seen him his brilliant teeth and then do to him the middle finger  
The bird, seeing his ruined teeth, began to fight with his rival  
They did so many hits like the old times that in the meantime they destroyed machines, involved a poor kid in the fight, so hard that the kid's father was upset and he hit the chicken and Peter making them knockout, but for ten seconds  
The two got back and continued that which they had begun and, at last, they fell into the creep of the park and they shouted fighting, but there was no trace of the couple clinging to the branch  
From the two meanwhile, the situation didn't improve at all...  
"So you're so afraid of the dark, good one!" the girl said laughing up her sleeve  
"And you're wet yourself in a disco, great!"  
"Look, you say the others will be worried?" she asked, changing her mood  
"Surely, but they'll miss us when we're dead?"  
"I think so..." she then imagined her father Peter farting in her grave while the others cried but then later they go away bored of the funeral, but the girl returned to the real world when her husband exclaimed  
"O-Oh god!"  
Salvatore was about to lose his grip and Meg went panic  
"What are you doing, don't give up!"  
"I d-don't take it anymore, s-sweetey, I'm tired, I..." unfortunately he lose the grip and the two fall into the void screaming but the chicken, having restarted the fight with Peter after the fall, took rightly the two lovebirds, but having no good actions with them though...  
"And now what?!" Salvatore spoke, trying to get rid of the chicken's powerful grip  
Peter, meanwhile, blinded by anger towards the chicken, he didn't lose hope and restart to hit the opponent, but this held Meg and Salvatore in hostage and started to use them as human shields  
"Aaah, dad, help us!" Meg screamed at the point of having a nervous breakdown  
Finally, the chicken threw them at his enemy who shook them off as if was nothing and he continued to strike him.  
After the initial shock, Salvatore resumed and shouted to his father-in-law, now furious than ever  
"Mr. Griffin... how the fuck dare you to do THIS?!"  
The great Peter, having turned for a few seconds, he ignore them returning to fight until Meg stepped between them, stopping them  
"Enough! I don't understand anything why you dad are fighting this bird, but make peace!"  
He, recognizing now her daughter, he hugged her saying  
"Oh, Meg, but then it was you? If is so..." and Peter saw then how she and her husband he had done  
"How you dare you to used them as a shield you, you filthy..." shouted the man who ran to restart to beat him but Salvatore stopped him by the shirt  
"Stop, that chicken has saved our lives, more or less, you should thank him, not beat him like you always do!"  
"You're right, but... " answered, but the boy told him dryly  
"No buts!"  
Eventually, the two lovebirds convinced the two rivals to shake hands and stop the dispute  
"Let's return home guys, or your mother will become like a Hulk who has to go to the bathroom" Peter said, shaking for the scene, but before leaving he took from the pocket a Joe's teaser and backstabbing the chicken making him losing his ability to move and he quickly said  
"Let's go away, now!" and he pulled below Meg and Salvatore by the arm.  
Returning home a little bit badly, the three greeted Lois and Peter was ready ro told all, or almost  
"Fortunately you're okay, oh my god, what happened to you?" she asked shocked  
"Oh nothing, we were just playing, that's all"  
"Okay, don't make me this joke anymore, and be more careful next time!" said the woman hugging them  
"Sure mom!" answered her eyeglassed daughter and she and Salvatore went away kissing, again  
Stewie and Brian watched the TV in the meantime and saw something creepy at the Channel 5  
"Flash news, there was another case of sacrifice with satanic origins, the woman you see on the screen sacrificed her son for the will of the Witcham, and now she's fleeing!" said Tom Tucker, the journalist, framing a woman and a child very familiar  
"What we have done?!" the two cried out, recognizing them, but something appeared from nothing behind them  
"Done what?" she was the spirit of the stork, curious  
"Well, nothin', nothin'..." and the two went away instantly.

 **END**


	8. Soccer-Terror

Peter Griffin and his big family were watching TV as a routine that was airing a program called "Win at surprise a random prize" and the conductor of the program, a black-haired and acclaimed man, announced  
"Welcome to win at surprise a random prize, the game that makes you wins everything, randomly!"  
Everyone in the room cheered and then the conductor continued  
"The next contestant who will try to win a random prize, is... Ludwig!" and he pointed a tall mustached man with red-haired hair, who was steadily greeting the camera  
"Hello world"  
"So Ludwig, if you answer this question you'll win a random surprise, then, which country in the world has an unemployment rate of over 40% and is famous for a round and tasty eating thing?"  
The competitor was nervous and trembled trying to answer, but he couldn't, and began to stammer nonsense phrases  
In the "real" life, the Italian Salvatore, knowing the answer, shouted indignantly  
"Come on, you can't know Italy, what an idiot you are!"  
His mother-in-law named Lois asked to him  
"Wait, but Italy really has an unemployment rate so high?"  
"Yes, unfortunately..." he replied with a low tone  
"Do you know we go once to Italy?" Peter said suddenly without being questioned, but no one answered, except the little son as usual  
"Everyone knows it, flintstone"  
His time available was about to expire, and Ludwig before ended the last second he answered with a French accent  
"Hum, Italy?"  
Everyone in the room exulted and fired confetti from all sides, even on themselves and on the food  
"Bravo, congratulations, you won..."  
A curvy girl then took a cloth discovering something; it was a check along with a ticket and a special purple uniform  
"You won one hundred thousand dollars and you've become the coach of Quahog's new football team, the Clammers!" said the conductor enthusiastic  
"Great!" Ludwig jumped out of joy by taking the winnings and went jumping like a rabbit and Peter shut up the TV too fast making everyone angry  
"Hey!"  
"Crap, I wanted to become a coach, not that being who looks like the Monalisa who doesn't shave for years" and for imagine her he passed out in front of everyone  
After a bit of time, while everyone was doing their ordinary things, even strange, the son of the house Chris was with an older and taller girl than him, until she said  
"Stay here piggy, I promise you that after we play basketball" he, thinking badly, he exclaimed enthusiastically  
"Okay, darling"  
After leaving the blonde boy in an alley, the girl left, and immediately after five sinister guys approached Chris who, scared, he tried to run away, but was taken and used as a basket ball while the girl before came back and laughed looking at them  
"Great shot, lardo!"  
Returned home exhausted, the poor boy all hurt badly he relaxed on his room's bed, and said  
"Oh crap, why is it so hard to have a steady girlfriend? I only have a strange addiction, but it's not so bad..."  
*flashback*  
But there was a Chris with his hands inside his pants that looked at the screen and shouted threateningly  
"What are you looking at, bastards?"  
*end flashback*  
Peter meanwhile was take a walk with his dog Brian to meet a female than the dog had met and give him an opinion about when he saw the guy was before on TV  
"Oh look Brian, it's him!" and forgetting the dog, he ran to the guy than, watching Peter running, he frightened  
"Aaaahhh!"  
He pursued him, leaving Brian alone  
"Hey Peter, where are you going?" but after a few seconds the dog was captured by an organization that made him dark and a dealer at the same time  
The guy with the red hair who had won at that competition continued to run while Peter shouted  
"Where are you going, I just want to talk, don't be like John Cena!"  
*flashback*  
John Cena was running in a town marathon and Cena, as soon as Peter go nearby there, he asked him seriously  
"Why are you still chasing me fat ass?"  
"Because I want an autograph for you, you're so famous"  
"Get lost!" annoyed, the wrestler quickly ran but Peter took his car and hit him  
"Why did I leave wrestling?" he wondered in pain on the ground while Peter won the marathon with the car on two wheels  
"Roadhouse!"  
*end flashback*  
"What?" the poor man stopped suddenly, but Peter struck him and made him broke the bones for the impact  
"Oh crap, I'm sorry..." he apologized immediately, but now Ludwig was dying and with his last words he said  
"Damn it, now who will take care of the football team that I won, not you?!"  
"I could, I can take care of a bunch of idiots, why not a whole team?" he answered  
"Well, I have no other choice now"  
Ludwig handed over to him the ticket that was a contract and the coach uniform while he made a grin and said  
"It was an honor... to be struck by you... goodbye!" and he stopped breathing, and the man maker of his death shouted desperately to the air, but also happy  
"Nooooooooooooo, or maybe, Yessssssssss!"  
When he returned home, the man, now with the coach uniform, asked the family not even unbelieving one thing  
"Guess who has become a football coach now?"  
"Ludwig?" Brian answered bored with those dark dresses  
"No, he's dead, now it's me!"  
To hear him, his wife was upset and asked  
"Oh my god, how did he die?"  
"Well, it's a long story, but now that I have a new job, I can also leave that old one"  
He then took a phone out of his shirt and called to the brewery where he worked and when someone answered he shouted  
"Hi, as you already you're there, go fuck yourself!" and immediately he hung up violently, leaving everyone stunned  
"What's the matter? I've never seen you so upset since my new friend with opening problems came here for dinner"  
*flashback*  
Everyone was dining in the kitchen together with a boy with an animal-like appearance and Peter asked him  
"So Tony, how's life?" but he didn't answer, but the man in the house insisted  
"How, is, the, life?" but he didn't breathe anyway and he left the table after eating grass leaving the whole family bewildered  
"Well, isn't him a talker?"  
*end flashback*  
While Peter was preparing to train his new football team, his big son was in his room, hoping that he would have a family life all by itself  
"What the hell, even Meg has someone special and I always have just the waste!" and he remembered all the girls who he had an affair and then shortly after he had been dumped, even a girl so unlucky that he almost wasn't like his sister  
"Never mind, as much as it'll take for me to find one good girl?"  
*start scene*  
Twenty years passed and finally Chris found a woman who married him but he discovered after he was a homosexual man and he satisfied and said  
"Oh well, I before was a stuffed burger"  
The two kissed and had sex, but there came a Peter similar to the adoptive father Francis who made them deadly scare.  
*end scene*  
He then had an idea, trying with digital hard porn on his laptop without getting caught by his parents  
"Okay, we type hard porn for fatties and..." but suddenly his laptop didn't respond to his commands  
"What's goin' on, why not you start?"  
After saying this, suddenly on the screen appeared a skull with nipples in place of the eyes and with a very obscene mouth than screamed in his face  
"You suck!"  
For the fright Chris crashed like a missile breaking the wall and he going right to Quagmire's home unconscious.  
At Quahog's football stadium, Peter met the emerging team than he had got from that man, but he didn't know how to behave with them  
"So team, who are the ones who win or lose here?"  
"Well, are you sure to be our coach? You look like an inanimate TV puppet with AIDS" said a tall black player  
"Let's start, you, you, what's your name?" and pointed a footballer on his left which had a light skin and blonde hair  
"David"  
"Okay Divad, can you take the ball and throw it in the ninepins? Wait, where're the ninepins?" Peter asked a bit optimistic  
"Excuse me coach, but this is soccer, not bowling..." corrected the first player  
"Fuck, then what the fuck I fucking?!"  
Returning home after the embarrassing training, Peter was destroyed and disappointed  
"Mamma mia, I'm tired, I wasn't so since I traveled to Scotland on foot"  
*flashback*  
Peter had arrived on foot to Lochness Lake somehow  
"I hope to know... Lessie, because I don't know what to do if it isn't true" he said, but the real monster appeared really but it wasn't as cute as it seemed  
"I'm hungry, since you're here meatball, I'll eat you with soy sauce and salad" and it left the lake to bite him and Peter ran away but as a seal  
*end flashback*  
"A question, however, flee to me, you know what is soccer?" Salvatore asked him, knowing the answer  
"Well, yes, it's that hateful game that you have to put the ball in the hole, right?"  
"No..." and then the man in the white shirt went panic  
"Oh, for all the craps in the world, and now? I want to train that team, but I don't know pretty much anythin', what I do?!"  
"I can teach you" said Salvatore, shocking everyone  
"You know soccer?!" Peter's wife asked surprised  
"Yes, in Italy we play soccer, and I know pretty much everything, and we're really obsessed with soccer, even my dad" and began to think of a bad memory of his childhood, but for a while...  
"You know, I would like to make a deal with you"  
"Tell me all" Peter said curiously  
"Since I've always seen it and I couldn't play it, I'd like to join in the team and play in exchange for my teachings"  
Peter thought for a long time, and after seeing his wife's face, he eventually answered  
"I accept your offer man"  
"Excellent, now that I can play, I have to start training" and Salvatore ran all over the room, but Stewie tripped him and laughed.  
The blonde Chris, after the scare of that skull before, tried again to turn on the laptop, but that skull reappeared and spoke to him loud  
"Now you are in my command!"  
"Crap, what do you want from me?!" the boy shouted but the laptop turned off and the skull disappeared  
"This thing I don't like it at all, like when I and Meg brought Brian to the vet"  
*flashback*  
Brian was taken and put badly in a cage and was taken by the vet  
"Let me out, I promise I will not throw out"  
"Sure, isn't that you feel bad afterwards?" Chris asked  
"Sur..." but the vet had given him a syringe that after having hurt him he turned into a killer wolf dog  
"Oh my god, run!" and took Meg and the vet and they screamed running with a Brian who said  
"It's time to bite the biteable!"  
*end flashback*  
"I have to look for help, or here I cannot longer get my life back to normal" and he ran away from her mother  
"Mom!" he called her but didn't answer, she was too busy in her affairs, then Chris tried again  
"Mom, c'mon, I need your help!"  
After she turning, however, instead of her face there was that damn skull that shouted  
"You can't escape, Christopher Griffin, mwuahahahahah!"  
Chris yelled and ran into the room, but it was all a hallucination, or at least he hoped  
"Oh crap, that damn skull is making me sweat cold, I must immediately find help, right now!"  
After, inside the stadium...  
"Good, I have a change to do here, what should I do?" Peter asked Salvatore  
"There are too many players, you have to remove one from the team" replied him  
"Ah, right, you, you're out!" and Peter took one of them and threw him away like a garbage bag, shocking everyone  
"Not like that!"  
"Sorry, now I want to introduce the new player, he is my daughter's husband and he is a kind of nerd, here's Salvagore" after saying he took him and brought him close to the team  
"Salvatore!"  
"And what did I say?" said the father-in-law a bit confused, but after, one wearing number fourteen and quite muscular said, pointing to the Italian boy  
"Excuse me coach, but this guy doesn't seem suitable for soccer"  
"Excuse me dude, but I know everything and I'm more than suitable, and I want to play!" Salvatore answered a bit irritated and Peter then told everyone  
"Don't quarrel guys, and now what we do?"  
"We train!" another boy from the team said dryly  
"Ah okay, do what he said"  
All the boys go away and started playing, meanwhile, a strange guy with the glasses and a strange outfit was coming to him, he was Mort Goldman, and he was also a coach of a soccer team  
"Hey Peter, what are you doin' with that uniform?" asked with his spitting accent  
"Well, I train a team, see?" and he pointed his players who was dancing rather than training  
"Yeah... You have no hopes against my team, the Hebrins!" the other said, showing their photo  
"The what? It sounds like a name of tampons for losers" and while he said the thought of his daughter who took them from the supermarket and giggled  
"Don't joke it about, you have no hopes, they're strong and Jews, which is all!"  
"Maybe you have no hopes Mort..." Peter then turned to the other in the direction of his players pointing to one in particular  
"I have still the my secret weapon, the husband of my daughter, you know, you and your squadron or how it says will make the end of the great Ronaldo!"  
*start scene*  
The former great player Ronaldo was smoking here and lazing into his home depressed  
"What you want, it's the life..."  
*end scene*  
In Griffin's house, the poor Chris tried to ask Brian and Stewie to help him with the laptop, but...  
"We can't do anything, I don't even know what you're talking about" said the dog a little confused  
"Come on, maybe we should call a technician or something like that"  
"Well, I think so, but however do it alone" and the dog left leaving Stewie and Chris alone  
"I don't think you can do anything Stewie..." and Chris go away depressed but Stewie made the middle finger on him and go away too.  
Later somebody called a technician, who immediately turn on the blonde's laptop and saw nothing strange for Chris, and it had normally turned on, on the boy's disappointment  
"But before there was a kind of virus or monster there!"  
The technician, turning around, told him annoyed  
"Yeah, I gave up my life's dating for this thing, and anyway for the disturbance it costs fifty dollars"  
"Okay, I didn't want to go back to Texas like two weeks ago"  
*flashback*  
Chris and his family went to Texas and stayed in a town but it looked like it was like in the old days  
Peter said  
"But what the hell is this, it's... beautiful" he immediately run crazily disturbing everyone, while a sheriff passed here and caught Chris with a rope  
"Yes, I caught a buffalo, but I also need somethin' for my babies" and he captured with another rope Meg and said excited  
"Good, this fown a little battered it's perfect!"  
Eventually with a horse the man dragged them away from the city under the shocked look of all  
*end flashback*  
Chris gave him the money virtually but when the technician left, the laptop began to go crazy and suddenly reappeared the virus skull that cried furiously  
"Now you'll face ME!" and there was a screech so loud that had made stumble and unconscious the poor boy for a long time, but Brian came into the room shocked exclaiming  
"Oh my fucking god!" and he ran as if he had heard everything.  
The next day, Salvatore was training together with the whole team in a friendly, and there were both his wife Meg, dressed as a cheerleader who was looking him in the stands cheering him, and a confused Peter on the bench that scratched his arm unceasingly  
But the Italian was running from the wrong side and one shouted him  
"Watch out long-hair one, you go to the wrong side!" and without warning, Salvatore throw the ball making an own goal, making everyone laugh, and he was ashamed, but strangely he felt bad and didn't breathe well  
"Oh god, I d-didn't breathe...!"  
"You feel good loser?!" asked amused a player of his team  
"I had... the... last laugh..."  
They resumed playing, and while trying to thrown the ball, Salvatore slipped and fell without senses on the ground  
"Oh no, love!"  
Meg covered her eyes in horror as the footballers laughed at him, and Peter immediately whistled with the whistle  
"Stop, foul, and if I'm not mistakin' I have to hit them, right?" but Salvatore didn't answer him because he had fainted, and the fat coach made on his head, he running them to punch them  
Unfortunately for him the boys were too fast and they then hit him with the balls all the time, making him scream  
"Crap, stop it, I scratched!"  
Later, after Peter and Meg had brought the poor boy to the hospital, Dr. Hartman examined him and told him alarmingly  
"Oh my god, this guy has a respiratory problem, and I have lost the scratch card, fuck. However you shouldn't have let him play on the team!"  
"What? I thought..." but Peter hears the faint voice of his daughter's husband  
"Sorry you all, I didn't tell you because I thought I would play without much trouble, but o-obviously I was w-wrong..." he apologized with the short breath he had  
"Love, but it's like you've lied to us" said then Meg  
"Forgive me, b-but... the desire to play soccer was so great that I h-had to do it..."  
He tried to continue, but the feeling of not breathing was painful  
"Oh g-god... I-I feel bad like in the mountain with Chris"  
*flashback*  
Salvatore here had go along with Chris in the mountain and asked out of breath  
"Repeat it again, why are we doing this?"  
"To save my friend"  
At the top there was a robot doll and they had to climb to pick it up  
"What the... fuck...!" and the Italian fainted and fell from the mountain and Chris followed him.  
*end flashback*  
"Now what will happen to the team?!" Peter asked sorry  
"You will have to find another player in my place" he replied, now disappointed and depressed  
"And what about your advices?"  
"You don't need them anymore, I've gave you all a while ago..."  
"Okay, then I'm going to tell the team, see ya"  
Peter then went away from there but afterwards the doctor went out without saying anything to anyone and only the two lovebirds stays in the room  
After an embarrassing silence, his wife spoke first  
"You know, I was afraid to lose you, and then if you knew it was dangerous because you did it anyway?"  
The boy, after breathed, he talked lowering his head  
"Because I wanted to try it at least once, it was one of my dreams, a-after being with you sweetey"  
"Oh, but so you could die and I become a widow, you didn't think about that, uh?!"  
"Yeah, I did a stupid thing that I usually do, and I'm sorry, I wanted so much to play football and become a player like Maradona, but now who cares..." and depressed he put his face in the pillow, but his wife knew what to do  
"I know how to cheer you up..." and she undress herself in front of him leaving him surprised and confused  
"But sweetey, right here in a public place?"  
"Don't worry my love..."  
She then locked the door and covered the windows with the curtains leaving them almost in the dark  
"Wow, but you are, oh..." and Meg got close to him in underwear and began to cuddle him gently, but someone spies from the door lock, and it was one very well known  
"Giggity!"  
Meanwhile Chris, after the skull attacks, he tried to reflect on what to do  
What the hell, what should I do, maybe I should throw the laptop, but there are my favorite videos there  
In the end, after thinking long, he made a decision, took his laptop and took him away to throw him  
"Farewell friend, unfortunately because of that virus I'll have to abandon you, goodbye forever!" and he threw it into the garbage, but the impact it turned on making appear again the virus skull  
"Oh no!" he exclaimed trying to escape  
The skull shouted knowing everything  
"You'll not get rid of me so easily! Now that you are in my command you'll have to do something that you'll regret" and he made appear in Chris's head cruel images that invited Chris to undress, and he so did  
"No, not here, NO!"  
The virus skull was mad, he had sent Chris naked to take a knife in the house to cut something very precious to him, his penis  
"No, please, get out of my head, no!" shouted and yelled shaking, but someone in the passage, a dog, destroyed the laptop with a bat stopping the skull and his brainwashing  
After a while, the boy saw his savior and shouted at him  
"Thanks Brian!"  
Brian was embraced by him that he was all naked but the dog shrugged him out of disgust by telling him  
"Uh stay away, I just washed himself, anyway, you're right, but how did you get it?!"  
"I don't know, I don't remember it anymore..." replied Chris still groggy  
"Let's go home. Oh, and take a shower, and maybe I have to make one too"  
The two went home happy but someone who was there who saw all said shocked  
"What the fuck I saw!" and he shot himself with a gun smashing the skull.  
Later, after Peter's soccer team won three goals at one the match, all Griffins and even Salvatore were back home happy and healthy  
"We've won, and I owe it all to you Salvatore"  
"Thanks to you, Mr. Griffin, and thanks to my beloved sweetey" said Salvatore, holding the hand on her shoulder  
"You're welcome love. A question, why Chris is naked?!" she asked as she saw her brother still undressed walking in the street still upset  
"I don't know anything, I swear it!" said Brian lying and he ran upstairs to the bathroom to wash himself.

 **END**


	9. A Savior's Adventure

The episode began at day, at Swanson's home, with two women, one with a green shirt and one with a purple dress, than were discussing on their husbands who were also great friends and how they did things to them  
"I know Peter is a little idiot but he do this for love" said the woman in the green shirt  
"This is sure Lois, but Joe doesn't do much here, at most he helps me home when he can and nothing else" said the woman with the purple dress  
"But he works as a cop Bonnie, maybe he'll not have time for you and the house"  
Lois was sitting on the bed of Bonnie's room and the other in the meantime she was up and was ordering some things  
"Maybe you're right, but..."  
The red got up and saw Bonnie's clothes in the closet and interrupted her  
"Wow, how much you don't buy another dress, here it looks like the meeting of the Yankies" and oddly then came up on the screen so many little players shouting and drinking so much  
"Wait a moment..."  
The red-haired woman took an insecticide from under the bed and swept them away as if nothing was  
"I know, but you know, I don't want to take anything else, I don't want shock Joe" Bonnie said as she looked into the closet of the clothes  
"C'mon, if we go and buy some new clothin', even me I need one, my wardrobe is like Merlin, Arthur and the round table" and suddenly they came in mini-shape on the screen and Bonnie used a vacuum cleaner for suck them  
"Help King Arthur!" exclaimed the knights before being sucked  
"Please don't make any references, okay?" Bonnie said annoyed  
Arrived then to the clothing store of the city that was called Beauty and Casey...  
"Look at this, and this"  
There were so many classy clothes, and Lois didn't want to pick one, but she had  
Bonnie chose one colored cerulean blue that was good at her, but when she was going to pay it, she saw her friend with a dress made of pearls with straps that she was so astonished that in the meantime someone stole the cerulean dress she had  
"Taken, ha ha!" exclaimed the unknown thief in the shadow fleeing  
"Oh Lois, you're fabulous!"  
"Thank you, but this cost a lot, it costs worse than..." but was interrupted by the other woman just in time  
"Please, don't finish the sentence"  
"Okay then, you think I should take it?"  
But Bonnie was imagining her with that dress, she would be back to the center of attention, as was before, she absolutely wanted it  
"Yes, take it, it'll please your husband" she said a little nervous  
As Lois took off her dress and took it from the salesman, Bonnie made a bad grimace and she said pointing at a random place at Lois  
"Look Lois, there's your husband, I'll pay you the dress, you greet him"  
"Thank you Bonnie, Peter!" and she ran off leaving Bonnie to take the pearl dress and pay it, but after she run away without Lois  
"Where are you Peter?" but Lois saw no one and said confused  
"Bah, Bonnie would never lie to me, or maybe..." and she went back to the salesman and saw that there was no dress and neither her  
"Oh my god, where's go my dress?" asked to the salesman but he seriously told her  
"The crazy guy who was here took it before you"  
"What, Bonnie? Why would she do such a thing, maybe she's more mad than a wrestler in space"  
*start scene*  
In a shuttle, a very abnormal and disguised guy was flying and singing a song when suddenly he crashed on a wall of the ship and a judge out of nowhere made the count by making him win  
"Yay, I won!"  
"Damn, I'll now take it from here. Kamikaze Time!" and the shuttle exploded killing them all  
*end scene*  
Hours later, a researcher in an unknown part of Quahog looked the sky with a telescope, and what he saw spit out the coffee he drank and ran to call everyone, after a few minutes it happened the pandemonium, with pandas included  
At Griffins' home meanwhile, Peter, Salvatore and Brian were watching TV when there was that alarm  
"Red alert!" Tom Tucker suddenly shouted at the television shocking the three  
"What?!  
"People, in three hours, a meteorite will crash on Quahog, warn everyone of the danger and go away fast as you can, my people, I'll go, goodbye!" and he went away leaving the post to another journalist with unsuitable hair  
"Well, I tell you one thing, if you're watching the news right now, you're just a*****es, over and out!" and after that he raised his middle finger and left  
Peter, most of all, was disconcerted by the event  
"Wait TV, we have to leave the house after all we did to get it"  
*flashback*  
Peter was gambling with other guys in a strange bar and one of them said  
"I bet my son's games house at Spooner Street" but Peter won by showing his cards and said  
"Four drunken' kings, I won!"  
"D-oh!" exclaimed a man in a white shirt and blue pants very familiar.  
*end flashback*  
But Salvatore, skeptic, had a thought in his head  
I don't know, it seems that it's all a sham this, but I'm not sure...  
Brian said quickly  
"We have to prepare our suitcases immediately and move on, if we don't, we can die!"  
"Sure, but..." his owner Peter said  
"Immediately! I warn others" but before to succeeded he was interrupted by the Italian Salvatore who stopped him  
"Stop Brian!"  
"What's up, do it fast!" said the dog irritated  
"I don't believe at this story, it is highly unlikely that a meteorite hits the city, and it's kind of how do a homerun with closed eyes"  
*start scene*  
A baseball player was blind and shortly after screaming, he hit the ball and made an amazing out of the stadium and all his teammates jumped out of joy but it was just a dream of the player who was in a bad coma.  
*end scene*  
After half an hour, all the suitcases had been settled and only Lois, Chris and Meg were missing in the family appeal than they couldn't find them  
"Where was go your, sweetey?" Brian asked, accentuating the last word concerned  
"I have no idea, she just told me that she had to go out and buy something, I hope she doesn't want to do the same idiocy of the last time..."  
*flashback*  
The woman girl Meg returned home with a mysterious pack and when she opened it, her husband saw that inside there were only sausages and he felt confused and said  
"Excuse me, what the hell you need th..." but he remembers a particular thing and kept talking while she put them in the fridge  
"Uhm, but you don't need..." and he thought something that made him grim  
"Ah..."  
*end flashback*  
"Lois is to Bonnie, and Chris?"  
"Forget of Chris, we find the girl and Lois, immediately, before we crush that chubby rock ball!" Peter said as he prepared to look for them  
"I tell you that it is all a sham!" Salvatore suddenly shouted, but the dog answered him  
"But Salvatore, the news said about the meteorite, he would never lie!"  
"I have a strong suspicion, though..." and began to leave the house  
"Where are you goin'?!"  
"Looking for answers!"  
Brian then saw the Italian disappear from his sight, and began to get angry  
"Oh god, I always have to think about the house, luckily Stewie sleeps, otherwise..."  
"Otherwise?" but that was a familiar voice from a child he knew, so, recognizing him, he said nervously  
"Hey, g-good morning Stewie!"  
"What's the story of the meteorite, and explain to me why luckily I should sleep!"  
"Oh nothing, however, the news said that in a little over two hours a meteorite will destroy the city and we were escaping but some of them do their own thing, it's worse than when we went to Jamaica for a holiday"  
*flashback*  
In a Jamaican hotel, Brian took a newspaper and took breakfast, some Martini and an MP3 to relax with the music, but Peter stole the newspaper, Lois the Martini, Chris the breakfast, Meg the MP3 and Stewie the fur that he had, and at last he snarled but the waiter frightened  
"Help, a monsteur!" and with a rifle he shot him a sedative and Brian collapsed to the ground and the waiter laughed  
*end flashback*  
Bonnie continued to escape with the loot, the dress made of refined pearls, and in panic she took refuge in a neighbor's house, that of Cleveland  
She entered without permission and hid her dress under the living room sofa and ran away but a boy had seen her, he was the fat son of Cleveland, Cleveland Junior.  
Peter Griffin meanwhile knocked on the door of the Swanson house to see if his wife was with her and Joe opened the door and greeted him  
"Oh hi Peter, what brings you here?"  
"Where are your wife and Lois?" asked his friend hurriedly  
"Well, when I came back here they were not at home, they went out to take a breath of air or went to that circus with that strange clown with hepatitis"  
*flashback*  
Here really were the two women watching that clown and suddenly the clown, who had a skin color on the yellow shouted, looking at the camera  
"There's nothing to see here, okay?!"  
*end flashback*  
Peter suddenly saw a woman enter in a window of the Swanson house and asked his friend  
"Ah, thanks Joe, but I'd like to ask you another question, why is Bonnie sneaking inside?" and Joe turned and saw her  
"Bonnie, why do you come in through the window?" asked curious  
She didn't know what to say, she had to invent an excuse, and a shortly after she told him lying  
"Well Joe, I just wanted to surprise you" and she ran off upstairs  
"Joe, did you know, anyway, that a baseball from the sky is going to destroy us?"  
"What?!" shouted the disabled person, hearing his friend and panicked, turning around with his wheelchair  
"Why didn't you say before, then we must immediately find Lois and Bonnie, do you know anything?!" and she answered from a distance  
"No, I'm sorry Joe..."  
"But first I have to do something important" said Peter quickly and finally ran to Quagmire's house nearby and blocked every exit with objects found there around  
"So there will be no risk of explosion"  
Meanwhile, Lois looked around the store but there was no trace of the woman thief and she surrendered  
But when she saw people running around shouting out meteorite she became curious and ran to her house but someone with a fur that Lois knew followed her hidden in the shadows.  
Salvatore, meanwhile, had asked around if there really was this meteorite and everyone claimed the danger  
"Why they all believe in this bullshit, I don't understand them anymore!"  
Suddenly Salvatore got an idea of how to know the truth  
"Sure, let's go to the experts, so we'll be at ease" and he ran as fast as he could, but then he stopped, not knowing where to go  
Peter and Joe, meantime, they went in search of Lois with Joe's police car but after seeing pies with legs, the woman seemed nowhere to be found when they see...  
"Joe, look, isn't Bonnie that trying to get into Cleveland's house?" Peter pointed to his friend the scene  
"I don't think, Bonnie is packing the bags to leave, and then why she should do such a mean thing"  
"What the hell do I know, to train to a wrestler for thieves?"  
*start scene*  
"Death to all!" Bonnie, disguised as a wrestler, was to fighting with many other women, and she was eventually beaten and massacred by a transvestite man, who danced on her body  
*end scene*  
"I don't know, we'll look after Lois, the work comes first" and he got out of the car and headed for the friend's house  
Joe's wife, however, was to take the stolen good she had left there but Cleveland Junior was to watch the house with his half-brother Rallo and soon after she was discovered  
"Stop where you are Mrs. Swanson!" said Junior  
"S**t!"  
She tried to escape from there but the baby with the afro hair stopped her with a western-style rope that seems to have been taken by Stewie  
"Guys wait, what are you doing?" she asked irritably and confused looking at them  
"We know that a little while ago you came into the house without permission, tell us why Mrs. Swanson" said the little Rallo threateningly  
"Well, I..." but Joe broke the door and shouted  
"Stop right there, badly she-thief!" and pointed the gun at his wife, although he exchanged her for a look-alike  
"Joe?"  
"How do you know my name criminal?"  
"It's me Joe, these kids have mistaken me for a crazy nerd!"  
"Hey!" suddenly said a nerdy girl with crooked eyes passing and going away swinging  
In the meantime Rallo had found the dress and informed them  
"That's not true, she took this!" and he showed the dress to those present  
"Then not only did you hide the stolen goods, you also wanted to kill the witnesses!" shouted Joe furiously  
"But what do you say, you came out crazy like Jeff the Killer?" and magically he appeared precisely the elusive killer in mini form that untied Bonnie and let her flee laughing maniacally  
"Where you think to go bitch as my wife!" and ran after her with his wheelchair, followed by his big friend.  
Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie had carried everything in both Peter's and the dog's car and found Chris who helped them to close everything  
"Oh my god we must immediately go away, we've at least a half-hour!" the blonde said worriedly  
"I know, but if the others don't come we cannot move!"  
"Brian, please, let them go, they won't need where we have to go"  
The dog was indignant at the baby's words and replied indignantly  
"Don't be stupid Stewie, don't do like when I took you to do an eye exam..."  
*flashback*  
The little Stewie, accompanied by his dog friend, had to see if he had to wear glasses like the father and the sister, but the oculist was threatened by his words  
"Try putting those nerdy things on me and I put out your balls on your face!"  
Brian exclaimed upset  
"Stewie!"  
"No Brian, I don't want to put those stupid things like that to read that b******t!" he said as he pointed to a paper with the words "You won!"  
*end flashback*  
The city was becoming deserted, and as the meteor approached the citizens in panic escaped with cars and on foot like crazy:  
"Strategic escape!" shouted a man with red hair and freckles dragging his son like him  
"Connie first!" said some boys letting themselves pass over them by the interested blonde  
"Save the mayor!" he cried out to help a famous gray-haired man who was laboriously running in a circle  
"I want to see this beautiful meteorite" finally said an old man who held himself up with something pointing to the meteorite on the sky.  
Meanwhile, Bonnie's escape didn't end well, in fact Joe caught her by taking off on his wheelchair with the help of Peter and his fart  
"Leave me Joe!" she shouted, shaking  
"No lady, you're under arrest for theft and kidnapping!"  
"But I have not stolen anythin..." but she hit him unintentionally and he in response struck her causing her to lose consciousness and handcuffed her  
"Shut up, the thieves like you should just shut up!"  
He put her in his car and called Peter, now shocked by the event  
"Wow Joe, you know how much her looks like your wife, two peas in a pod"  
He was serious and impressed replied  
"I know, but after took her in South Dakota's central, I can finally unmask her"  
The fat man, however, had a strange feeling  
"A moment, didn't we forget someone?"  
"Of me, help!" they heard the voice of his friend the great chinned man Quagmire still trapped in the house than he was trying to get out of  
Later, while Bonnie was locked in the car of the police of her husband, him and Peter was trying to find the wife of the fat one  
"Hmmm, LOIS!" they shouted out her name so many times, until suddenly they saw her around Brown's house, and when she noticed them, she shouted upset  
"Peter, oh my goodness, I've been looking for you for a long time, where the fuck were you?!" the two saw her looking like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown  
"I was looking for you too, crap, you were hard to find, like a needle in a haystack"  
*flashback*  
There was our man who was looking for the lost needle in the straw  
"Find, come on!"  
He searched and searched, but years passed and when he got old and touched his pocket he finally found the needle but died shortly after seeing it breaking himself  
*end flashback*  
Lois then looked that Joe had in his own car Bonnie unconscious and shouted  
"Wait, but why her was there?!"  
Joe replied calming her  
"Don't worry Lois, she's just a thief, now you and Peter must run away with your family from the city, I'll worry about her!" and he got into the car and left, but before to disappear from the sight, Bonnie awoke and said in a weak voice to the friend who could hear  
"Help me..."  
"Oh my god, Joe is crazy!" shouted Lois, confused and scared  
"And that's not all Mrs. Griffin" Cleveland Junior said in his hand her pearl dress  
"And this where did you get it?" she asked confused  
"That one had it in our house, but it's yours?"  
"Yeah..." and she took it in his hands with a worried and confused look  
On the journey home, the husband explained to his wife all about the meteorite and after they returned home and saw it empty, except for their sons and their dog who were nearby there, she said  
"Hey guys, we must leave immediately!"  
"Mom, where have you been?" the blonde son asked to Lois  
"I was around with Bonnie sweetie, I'll explain to you on the way, Brian, how long before to the crash?"  
"Twenty minutes"  
"Where are Meg and Salvatore?" she asked, not seeing them nearby  
"Salvatore is around and is no longer returned, Meg instead is gone"  
"We have to find them right away, damn, those two always getting lost!"  
"I know Lois, they're horny worms on a hot day" said Peter, making the scene appear  
*start scene*  
In a grassland some worms were ready to do obscene things crawling but before succeeding they were eaten by Brian by mistake  
"Mmm, tasty spaghetti"  
*end scene*  
"Or when Stewie had to poo" Chris then said, irritating the little brother  
"Hey don't try to...!" shouted Stewie before the incriminated flashback went off  
*flashback*  
The little Stewie, strangely in the toilet of the bathroom, he was humming and swinging  
"Oh god, I'm trying to defecate, oh god, I'm trying to evacuate, oh god, I'm baaaaaaaaddddddd!" but he overbalanced and ended up in the water and screamed  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile, after the indignation of the small one and a little laugh of the red-haired one, Salvatore had succeed, wandering into the unknown, to find the Quahog Observatory; now he could know the truth about the meteorite, but when he knew it...  
"Are you sure of this?" he asked with a slightly relieved look  
"Absolutely, the meteorite will not crash on Quahog, but on Stoolbend"  
Salvatore then jumped several times of joy and told to the astrologer  
"We must immediately tell it to the city, before they all leave for nothing!" and he ran away followed by the astrologer and other scientists on a telescope car.  
Bonnie meanwhile woke up completely and she saw shocked that she was there tied up and immediately shouted to her husband  
"Joe, I beg you, I'm not a thief..." but her husband driving shut her up by telling her  
"Shut up, kidnapping kids thief!"  
Bonnie start to became furious and shouted at him  
"I didn't do any of this, you've smoke something?"  
"Will you be quiet a little?" he seemed crazy, he didn't recognize her anymore, and so sad and with tears in her eyes she told him  
"Joe, please pull yourself together, it's me, Bonnie, your wife, mother of your children, why don't you want to believe me, remember, we swore each other's loyalty on May 19 to that hall of disabled people"  
At the beginning there was a strange silence, and shortly after, Joe suddenly braked, causing the passenger to jump and hurt screaming  
"Wow, no one who would imitate Bonnie would say this, but then?" seeing her rise again in pain and looking carefully, he told her now calm and confused  
"Bonnie, honey, but why did you go to Cleveland's house and get that dress?"  
"I'll explain later, now we flee from this place, but a moment, where's Susie?" but exactly at the Swanson house, their child, with the voice of Patrick Stewart, said with thought  
Wow, they left me here as if I was waste paper, so I don't care about them, I have my new father here and she came crawling over to a passing tramp facing into the window.  
Soon after, the skeptical boy with the astronomers arrived at the city hall and used a microphone to talk to the citizens increasingly few  
"STOP YOU ALL!" the boy shouted loudly, making turn everyone, even those who were far away, and immediately everyone gathered in a horde of altered people  
"Hey, why did you stop us, we all have to die?" asked a large, black-skinned man known as Jerome  
"Well, we have good news for all of you, the city will not be destroyed, they will confirm it!" the Italian pointed to the experts, and one of them spoke into the microphone  
"It's the truth, thanks to him we are informed us more, and will not be our city to end up in pieces, but the city of..." but the passage of the meteorite near them, which was smaller than usual, stopped them  
As they wanted to explain, the meteorite will not hit Quahog, but Stoolbend, Virginia, the home of the now failed show, The Cleveland Show, and there were many victims, including some acquaintances of Cleveland  
Everyone jumped happy at the city hall and praised Salvatore along with the experts  
"Long live our Salvatore!"  
Shortly thereafter almost all the Griffins approached him just to tell him something  
"Wow, I don't know how you did my boy, but we were so sure of the destruction of our city" the mother-in-law said, hugging him  
"Crap, what a luck, who knows where'll be crashed that space bowling ball..." Peter wondered surprised, but the surprises were not over yet, because the girl with the fuchsia hat appeared and shouted  
"Salvatore, love!"  
"Sweetey, where the hell were you?" he asked surprised after hugging her  
"Yeah, where have you been?!" shouted Brian in the name of everyone  
"I was to take this very cool thing"  
Meg showed everyone the same cerulean blue dress that Bonnie was buying long ago  
"Wow, it's cute, luckily thanks to me the city has been saved from the general panic"  
Peter, seeing his vehicles covered with boxes and more, finally asked  
"And now what do we do with all this stuff?"

 **END**


	10. RiS Chris

At Spooner Street, precisely at the Griffin house, two members of the family, a talking dog and a talking baby, watched the TV, a source of idolatry for the family itself  
"And now we return to the Teledrugs!"  
On television there were strange colored men with screens on their chests that were smoked something and one purple told to the other  
"Brothers, our friend Edward was caught by the cops, and now what do we do?"  
One orange and small answered him  
"It's better to get him out by all means, but first..." and he smoke a joint so strong that he turned red and fainted  
In real life, a big boy named Chris came down awkwardly from the stairs  
"Guys, I go to Herbert, I want to see if I can apologize after what happened some time ago" he said to the two, making a flashback appear  
*flashback*  
Here was a flashback of the episode Chris Cross, exactly when the boy was rude to the old pedofile Herbert in his house and he was kicked out from home.  
*end flashback*  
"Go ahead, I'll tell Lois that you go out for a walk" said Brian smiling doing a wink  
"See ya!" and he opened the door, leaving the house, leaving them alone again, but after a few seconds of silence the dog asked to the baby something  
"Do you think he will be, well, raped again?"  
"Of course Brian, as usual" replied the friend, standing up shortly  
"That old man is just a nut, like Adam Sandler I met in the library"  
*flashback*  
In the library, the baby genius Stewie saw by chance the "famous" guy who was reading an unusual book and he approached him  
"Hi, are you the one who made those comedy movies like Signals from the Ultra-Past?"  
"Wellell... Yeet" he said moving his head  
"Oh, and, how does feel to be one of the most american idiots ever seen?" but Adam replied, moving his pupil oddly  
"Strangelin'"  
"Okay..." and while the guy went away dazed, Stewie threw him a book on his head and he said, rubbing his head in a strange way  
"Auchiau!"  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile, Chris the big boy was approaching carefree to the old pedophile's house but he noticed something that was different over there  
"Hey, what's going on there?" he was confused as he looked at the house that was very untidy and with broken windows, and approached one of these and saw horrified two shady guys in the house who were rummaging and holding the poor old owner in hostage  
Scared, Chris let out a scream and the thieves noticed the intruder  
"Chris?" asked the old man bound and consciously recognizing him  
"Who the hell screamed, a spinster?!" shouted the taller one  
"What do I know, I'm going to check" said his lower accomplice, going out to check  
Turning around, he saw a boy running away and instinctively took a gun from his pocket and fired a shot that hit him in his right arm  
Unable to run for the pain, the poor Chris said  
"Oh, g-god, I have to tell it to mom and d-dad, right away..." but before he get home he was joined by the thief who struck him in the neck making him lose consciousness  
"So he learn to watch what we do, pervert" and he left him there on the ground and returned to Herbert's house, and there the tall guy said to the old man while he had an evil grin  
"At this hour that big guy you know was go to the birds of the afterlife, y'know?"  
*start scene*  
In the air there were two birds with angel wings who gossiped about the deads on Earth  
"That man, Hitler, he got what he deserved!"  
"And then that Osama Bin Laden..." suddenly a third came and said, amused  
"Haha, and then, Nicki Minaj, you knew what happened to her, just like a slut!  
"Hey, Nicky Minaj is still alive" said a friend of his confused  
"Not for a long time yet!" and the bird flew down threateningly  
*end scene*  
"No Chris, poor kid, why you did it, and what you want from me?!" the old man answered furiously as never before  
The lowest thief returned and replied before his colleague  
"Well, we have already said it Mr. John Herbert, give us the helmet and nobody will get hurt, and as for your friend, I made it dry like a caciotta cheese burnt in the sun"  
"No... I'll never tell you!" he said while the tears fell in his eyes, but they struck him so hard that he lost his senses and they dragged him away to the trunk of their car and they left, leaving the house destroyed and robbed by some children, looking for revenge  
Meanwhile, Chris was found by his parents and he was immediately taken to the hospital and, after a while, he woke up and said confused  
"Oh, where am I, why am I here?"  
"Chris, honey, you're fine!" said his mother Lois moved as she hugged him  
"Mom, daddy, you're here..!" but he felt a pain in the head and he rub it and suddenly he remembered the event that he have seen earlier  
"Oh, where's Mr. Herbert?!"  
"Well, I think he was kidnapped by someone, but I don't know who" Peter said "knowing" something, at least once  
"What? I know who they kidnapped him, please, let's go find him!" he said worried but in the meantime the usual black-haired doctor arrived and interrupted the conversation  
"Griffins, luckily you found him just in time, he could have serious consequences if he had brought him late"  
"Can we take him home Dr. Hartman?" the woman asked but the son exclaimed  
"Home? I must look for him!"  
Chris tried to get up but his right arm hurt so dogly  
"Hey!" shouted Brian breaking the fourth wall but the doctor replied to Lois, giggling  
"Heheh, no, he have to stay here a bit more for some checks, then you can take your great child to home"  
The boy was sad and looked down but the doctor, turning, said remembering something  
"Speaking of children, can you tell your daughter not to go insane every time she come here?"  
*flashback*  
Meg, accompanied by Salvatore, went to the hospital for a check and when she met the doctor, she took him by the throat and threw him against the wall with an amazing force, and Salvatore shocked told him  
"Well, I think that means you should call a gynecologist"  
*end flashback*  
At home in the meantime, a dog and a baby were conversing on a very, spicy thing...  
"And so, did you have the first sexual intercourse at the age of three, huh?" asked the child very curious  
"Yeah" the dog said, not really proud  
"I hope to give a shot too at that age" but Brian was struck by his friend's words  
"But you'll still be a... nevermind"  
Suddenly, Peter, Lois and Chris returned home and the woman said to her blonde son  
"Well, now sleep, the doctor says that it have to rest for at least two hours before to use it"  
"But mom, I have to go look for him!"  
"No, I'm sorry, Joe and his police will think to find that disturbing guy, now go to your room!" said Peter in a scolding tone to Chris and he ran to his room very irritated  
Brian, curious and confused, asked the owners  
"But what happened?"  
"Don't think it, it's just Chris than don't think his own business, he almost seems a puppet with the Leishmaniasis"  
*start scene*  
The scene started with a paparazzo scratching himself like a dog and he writhing, spying on a model and taking pictures that never went well, but in the end he snapped Peter who said girly  
"Oh, I hope you'll post it on Facebook this, ohoh"  
*end scene*  
Brian, after calling Stewie, he went to Chris's room to see what he was doing, just out of curiosity, and he saw him crying on the bed  
"All normal, he just got out of the head" said the little friend in his serious tone  
"Something is definitely happened, we have to investigate, I hope it didn't happen anything to his big stick, or..." but the baby shouted him and stopped him  
"But what do you care about his penis, why are you always so unselfish and you never do your own business?"  
Brian not answered and turned his head, making understand Stewie something  
"Damn, you're like that time when you thought Lois was sick and instead she was just playing badly with that fatass man"  
*flashback*  
From the room nearby, Brian and Stewie suddenly heard strange screams that bothered the dog, and angered the little genius  
"Oh yes, c'mon!"  
"Woo, how much I enjoy, god!"  
The curious dog peeked into the keyhole in the room of the two to see but a scream made him scare and he ran away  
"Brian, it's you?" asked Lois in lingerie while she's playing with Peter at a pretty violent videogame  
"Lois, let's continue and let him go, crap, go!" said Peter and husband and wife started playing again and screaming loudly for all the night  
*end flashback*  
In an unknown location, the two kidnappers were torturing the old Herbert by all means  
"So old man, tell us where's the helmet of destiny and we'll leave you alive and well!"  
"I've already told you, you'll never have it, it's mine since I was thirty-six and you'll never touch it, never!" he answered in a painful tone  
"Oh yeah?"  
Immediately the tall guy whipped him with a whip with all the strength he had  
"Grah, keep it up, and you kill the only one who knows where he is..." and Herbert fainted again for the pain  
"Fuck, we can't do nothing with him!"  
But the low one had an idea, and told it to his friend  
"We can continue to torture him, or, we can do that thing that we know" the other saw him say it with a perverse face  
"Oh god yes, I already feel the taste of doing it, like a freshly made ice cream dancing the rain dance" and the two laughed sadistically and get ready to do the thing while the scene appeared  
*start scene*  
"Oh come on rain, oh come on rain, oh ice cream God!"  
An ice cream cone was hopping up somehow for freeze the air but when he did, the drops didn't help him and they melted him, and he cried  
"Fuck, no! Not acid rain, no!"  
Suddenly a meringue type approached him indifferently and he ate him wildly, becoming a fusion of the two things, but this was just an advertising spot on meringue ice cream  
*end scene*  
In the meantime Chris, having finished crying, he decided to run away from home and to ask Joe for informations, but the wheelchair-bound policeman had no good news for him  
"Sorry, but the police are already on track of your friend for too long, and unfortunately we have no clues, I'm sorry"  
"Okay, bye..."  
Back home disappointed and embittered, and after sitting on the couch, the blonde said depressed  
"Holy crap, where did they bring you...?" but then a light bulb turned on, really, and he got an idea, he had to become a detective, like that of the television he had seen last day, and he changed his clothes like the opening credits  
"I've decided, I'll become... Detective Chris!"  
He was dressed the same way as a famous detective, the difference was only for his modified hat on purpose, and suddenly he ran out of the house but he collided with a man with so much fat, who was his father  
"Oh hi Chris, it's not time for Christmas yet, or maybe it was Halloween, anyway what are you doing?"  
"I try to help Mr. Herbert my dear Wattsad" he said as he walked slowly towards the street  
"Ah okay" and he opened the door but something came to mind and turned but he didn't see him anymore  
"Chris, come back to Wattsad!"  
"Haha, I fooled you dad and I now finally find Mr. H..."but he was blocked by the sight with a boy known to him  
"Where are you going Chris, huh?" the boy asked seriously  
"Oh, hi Salvatore..."  
Dragged to home vigorously, Salvatore made him explain his reason for his escape and why of that dress to his parents...  
"Chris, honey, you know it was dangerous?!" shouted Lois worried  
"Yes mom" he said sadly nodding  
"And if those bad guys kidnap you too, I couldn't stand it, you'd make me feel like Gray's Anatomy"  
*start scene*  
The woman was weeping seeing the death of one of the doctors by cancer but something wasn't right  
"What happens?"  
Shortly after she was shocked to see that one of them committed suicide and appeared on the screen with bleeding eyes that seemed to come out of there  
After that, Lois then said  
"Oh my god what a fright..." but then the scary doctor look the screen just to say hello but she destroyed the TV, killing him  
"Thank goodness... now let's look the next episode to Bonnie"  
*end scene*  
"But mom, please..." he didn't finish talking that he was interrupted by his serious father  
"Now go to your room, and stay there, until I call you for that joke we should do" and he drank a beer and went away from the view  
"And don't think about Herbert, they'll find him, I promise"  
The green-blouse mother tried to help calm her son, but he ran to his room to cry again, and Salvatore, curious for his reaction, he decided to follow him to know why all this  
"Hey Chris" he called him knocking the door, but he replied irritably  
"What do you want?!"  
"Well, you really care about Herbert, don't you?" he asked, and his wife's brother replied, wiping away his tears  
"Of course I care a lot, he's like a grandpa friend I never had for me, don't you know?"  
"Then maybe I have the solution for you..." and the Italian turned on Chris's new laptop, typed something and then appeared a site of an Italian police team with their phone number in bold  
"This special team will help you, it's more competent to that slobs who are here in the city" but a police officer who was in the bath tub along with his colleagues sneezed and said  
"Someone has spoken badly about us"  
"Don't worry about it y'know, now relax" and he immersed himself totally in the water and drowned.  
Meanwhile the aged prisoner wasn't in a good time...  
"What the fuck did you do?" he asked as he felt weak and pained on all sides  
"Just a little big thing, now tell us where's that f****** helmet and we'll not make the round two!" he said the taller menacingly  
"Oh hell, hum, I don't remember it anymore" he said nervously as he tried to escape but he was still tied  
"Then it is the case we'll restart, it will be more fun than the time we robbed with the costumes"  
*flashback*  
The two criminals had entered a bank disguised as one like Batman and the other like Robin, and the other people were confused by this  
"Beware, this is a robbery by Batman and..."  
"Robin"  
"So now we'll take the money of evil and bring them to justice!"  
The lower one, however, did not agree on one thing  
"Dude, this was not good as a catchy phrase"  
"Shut up, you always ruin everything!" he said in the meantime that everyone had already called the police and fled  
*end flashback*  
"No wait, nooo!" he screamed before to suffer the treatment again but someone from the next room said banging his fists on the wall  
"Hey, someone is sleeping here!"  
The next day, Brian and Stewie were about to watch something on TV, but suddenly a team of policemen came in and broke into the house and Stewie, frightened, shouting, raising his hands  
"I swear, I didn't made explode Scotland, I swear!"  
"What the hell?!" the housewife shouted, having heard the noises in the living room, and saw Chris appear who said in a teacher's manner  
"Mom, Stewie and Brian, these are the team of cops who will find Mr. Herbert, the RIS!"  
"Why the hell did you contact them? Are you completely crazy?" asked the dog, agitated by that mess  
"Report for duty, man!" said one of the policemen who looked more like a war soldier  
"Friends, I want you to look for John Herbert, this guy here" and Chris showed the photo of the old pedophile to the cops  
"He was kidnapped some morning ago by two guys, one tall and one small, we have to get them, but be careful, they're outrageously, deadly!"  
"As you command, boy!" and all the policemen left the house, leaving a shocked and confused Lois and two agitated friends  
"But explain me one thing, why are they so helpful with you?!" his mother asked him in a scolding tone  
"Because these policemen are Italians, and you know how they're made" a familiar voice answered from above in the blonde's place  
"Salvatore, did you contact them?"  
"Practically Chris called them, I just found the number, and now if you excuse me, me and my sweetey have busy up here" and after he talked, it heard strange disturbing and logical noises  
The obese boy, however, also had to do something and said  
"Sorry mom, I have to follow them, don't worry, I'm in safe hands, like when dad put the money in that bank of transgenders"  
*flashback*  
The family father was to deposit some cash and approached the cashier who said  
"Name please?"  
"Peter Griffin"  
"Phone number?" he asked with a strange look  
"What, ah, here it is" and the man marked his phone number on a card and gave it to the cashier  
"Thank you, hihihi!" and he ran away happy  
*end flashback*  
The two kidnappers robbers were about to finish to torture the poor old man and he was both disgusted and ready to die because he knew that if they took his secret treasure, it could be the end of the whole city, and to his friend Chris  
Meanwhile, the team of RIS agents was finding the thieves who had kidnapped Herbert...  
They first entered a church by breaking the windows, disturbing a ceremony between bears, then they exchanged Mort Goldman the Jew for the lowest thief but Chris let him go by throwing him a penny, and then they went into an abandoned house thinking it was their hiding place, but a couple was making out in bed, one was a guy with a mustache and brown hair and dazed look, the other was a blonde woman from unwatchable look  
"Aaaah, disgraceful" he exclaimed indignantly sending them away  
After hours of investigation, the boy and the policemen were groping in the dark, and they were hungry too  
"Guys, I'm hungry, we want eating something?" Chris asked them visibly tired  
"What'a did you say, kiddo?" asked one, pointing a gun at him, scaring him  
"No nothing... Oh my god, maybe I'll never see him again..." but right in front of them, the obese boy saw the two bad guys drag what they were looking for in a car and immediately he shouted pointing at them  
"Here they are!"  
The two kidnappers, seeing the police, they quickly entered to the car and rocketed and the policemen to chase them, they stole a car from there and speeded, leaving Chris alone on foot  
"Hey, wait for me!"  
In the car, the kidnappers were furious and shouted to the old man  
"Did you call them, a*****e old man?"  
"N-No..." he replied shaking  
"Ah, it's so? So let's get rid of these cops!" he said the small one and he accelerated  
There was an exhausting chase that also involved Peter who was driving for going to the Clam  
"Do you want to race uh? At beer speed!"  
Shortly after being hit by Peter's red car, the kidnappers' car rolled up, but Herbert didn't get hurt, but before the agents could save him, the two criminals, a bit battered, pointed the gun in his throat.  
"Take one more step you, and we kill him with a single blow!"  
Chris came strangely then and shouted upset  
"Tell me, what do you want from him?" but before the two could do anything, strangely they fell unconscious on the ground, leaving everyone speechless, even Chris  
"What, you?" he exclaimed as he saw a dog and a child with clubs in their hands very familiar.  
The two kidnappers were immediately arrested, and Chris thanked them for their help  
"Thank you so many guys, mission accomplished"  
"Jude and Stewart Redingston, I'll a' take you Rome. It was a pleasure to help ya, arrivederci"  
All those from the RIS go away with the kidnappers with the car stolen from before, singing with a pizza in their hands than appear magically, while Herbert, cleaning his blue dress, thanked well the others  
"Thanks Chris, I knew you would never leave me, and thank you for helping young heroes"  
He shook hands with the two friends who seemed a bit horrified at him  
"After, wash your hand, I smell a strange smell" Stewie whispered in disgust  
"But what did they want from you?" Chris asked the old man, but he had to lie and turned back  
"Nothing, absolutely nothing Chris, and now that I'm indebted to you, you could do a little thing for me..." but he turned around again and saw neither Chris nor the other two and he laughed  
Back home, the blonde boy told everything that had happened to the others but they all laughed at him  
"But that's the truth!" he shouted angry gesticulating but no one believed him  
"Of course Chris, by the way..."  
Chris' father took a strange object out of nowhere and put it on his head, and continued  
"I don't know this hat that I found in the room of that old what need for, but it's cute, I look like Meg"  
Peter had that famous helmet of the elderly pedophile, but when he said the name of Meg he accidentally moved by himself and hit her with a header straight in the face, shocking all there and irritating so much Salvatore.

 **END**


	11. The dog change the fur but not the habit

It was a beautiful summer day on Spooner Street, and the most comical man in Quahog Peter was relaxing with his friends around the street to watch the beauties of the road...  
"Ah, the wonder of nature, I almost miss having to be witho..." but he stopped when he saw his daughter and her husband put in the trunk of his red car some objects and then he asked to his friends  
"Hey, what are they doing, where do they want to go?"  
"I think they want to go to the beach, look, they're taking an umbrella and a basket" answered Cleveland, the black mustachioed friend  
Suddenly Lois arrived in front of the couple with towels and she put them in the trunk  
"Be careful guys, don't do like the other times, I recommend" she recommended them  
"Don't worry, we'll be very careful" Salvatore replied, while holding Meg by the hand  
After preparing everything, the two entered the car and put on their belts and they were now ready to go to the beach  
"So sweetey, this will be a kind of second honeymoon, so we'll be just you, me, and our future baby"  
"Of course, our first honeymoon was not so beautiful after all..." and she made the flashback appear  
*flashback*  
They had go to an amusement park the next day after the wedding, and they were traveling in a wagon in the love tunnel and they were about to kiss, but after the wagon from the tunnel came out, the surprise wanted her to not to kiss Salvatore, but his father Peter's ass  
She screamed in terror and dived from the boat while Peter laughed out loud, but where was Salvatore?  
*end flashback*  
The brown-haired woman girl started driving and drove the car to the destination of their choice, but Peter was too curious  
"Guys, in my opinion, those two want to spend time without troublemakers" said Joe, the disabled man  
"You don't go to the beach without the beach Joe, and I'm the beach" Peter replied, putting his hands on his hips but his friend number three, Quagmire, told him  
"You're not a beach Peter, and then I think you should leave them alone at least once in your life"  
After those words, Peter entered in a strange case of panic  
"And if they didn't have fun, and if they went to look for a killer to kill us and the history of the beach was just a story invented to divert everythin'?"  
"What the hell are you talking about Peter?" Joe was baffled, but the obese man turned and said determined to do it  
"I go!" after saying it, he ran off leaving, them alone and confused  
"Peter!"  
"He'll never change, when he does so he looks like the ogre Shrek in a science laboratory"  
*start scene*  
It started with the famous green ogre who was confused and disoriented in a strange laboratory, and there was no trace of his wife and his friends, but when he accidentally drank a green potion thinking it was rot rat juice he turned into Peter who exclaimed  
"Ogre crap!"  
*end scene*  
Meanwhile, at the Quahog park, Brian the dog and Stewie the baby were also relaxing on that hot day, but it was not really a relaxation...  
"Oh my god, so hot!"  
The little friend said, fanning himself with a hand  
"You're right Brian, with this heat we can even run the risk of evaporating like that Kool-Aid guy"  
*flashback*  
In the city court, everyone was dying from the heat and they were waving at each other with pieces of wall and the black judge said to them sad and thirsty  
"Gentlemen, unfortunately the water is over, and we'll have to arrange with this sour lemonade" he pointed it, but four people exclaimed two famous words  
"Oh no!"  
"Oh no!"  
"Oh no!"  
"Oh no!"  
The Kool-Aid guy suddenly crashed through the wall, but he couldn't answer because he fell into pieces because he was dry of his juice  
*end flashback*  
Brian meanwhile saw someone he knew prowling around, and immediately told it to his friend shook him  
"Oh look Stewie, is that Jillian there, my ex?"  
"Yes Brian, she gained weight for all this time, I see" but Stewie looked at the wrong woman, looked a lot like her, but she was obese and with wrinkles  
The dog shuddered and told Stewie, pointing at the right one  
"Not that one Stewie, she's there!"  
The blonde woman with the blue top she meant she was strangely alone, so Brian thought of something with an idea in mind  
Maybe if I do my part... but Stewie while he look him staring at her, he shout interrupting him  
"Brian, are not you thinking of getting her back?"  
He, back to real life, replied  
"No, don't worry, I just want..." and he got up from the bench and joined her leaving the little friend irritated  
"Here I knew it, every time he always ends like this"  
The dog, chased by the baby genius, he came from the girl from the big curves, which was meanwhile drink an apple juice with a straw quench her thirst for the heat  
"Hey, how long" Brian said making her turn suddenly  
"Wow hi Brian, how long, what a coincidence meeting you here" she was amazed and hugged him  
"Yeah, are you all right?" he asked, wagging his tail  
"Well, no..." suddenly she lowered his head after saying it, and Brian immediately asked her worried  
"Why not, what happened?"  
She answered with a direct  
"Nothing"  
"C'mon, we're friends, tell me about it, you will not be...?"  
The ex dog thought the worst, but the woman immediately told him changing the subject  
"No Brian, you feel this hot weather?" but looking at the serious dog's face, Jillian laughed nervously and said everything  
"Alright, it's the anniversary since Derek went to the angels and even my new boyfriend has..." she began to cry out for the desperation and the dog immediately apologized  
"Sorry, sorry, let's not think about it anymore, or we'll end up with someone I know"  
"Y-You're right"  
She wiped away her tears, and while than the baby, who had stayed there to pulling his animal friend's tail, she continued  
"It was nice to meet you again Brian, but now I have to go" but while she was leaving Brian took her hand and said quickly  
"Wait, if you want, tomorrow we'll meet again, what do you sa..." but a guy with piercings and a brown mohawk approached them menacingly  
"Hi beauty, what's wrong with you?" he asked rudely to her  
"Hi root man, nothin' interesting then" and she left the dog's hand and ran away, but the guy with the mohawk hair chased her leaving Brian suspicious  
"What he doing, hey, don't chase her!" but they were too far away, and Brian said worriedly  
"Damn, I have to help her"  
Stewie, however, finally said some words  
"No, now let's go home, or otherwise Lois would worry so much if we didn't return, like that time when that fatso was hidden in the closet and she was worried about nothing  
*flashback*  
It was a long time since Peter was nowhere to be found, and Lois, worried, searched in every room and even called the police, but he was hidden in Chris's closet  
The man seemed alone, but something like a monkey moved and pointed to him very seriously, then Peter said  
"But you don't you moved out creepy monkey?"  
The evil monkey finished pointing him and spoke to him calmly  
"I know, but don't tell it to Chris, I had problems where I was..."  
*end flashback*  
"Maybe you're right, I hope nothing happen' to her" but far from there, the guy and the woman were make out against a wall  
Meanwhile, Peter Griffin, to chase the two lovebirds, he had to overthink, so he ran for a long time, took a break at a bar farting a bit, then he took a tractor but it broke immediately for his weight  
"Crap, come on, I have to do it!"  
Then he drove a racing car, but almost there he hurl too much and he fell into the sea. All this happened without Meg and Salvatore noticed anything  
The two lovebirds finally arrived at their destination, and immediately they put on the costume and went to place the umbrella in the sand  
Meanwhile, the people on there moved away from them, as if they were plagues, and Peter, after returning to the mainland, he hid in an umbrella of a girl nearby  
"Strange, why do people avoid us?" asked Salvatore confused  
"I don't know, maybe because of this killer lizard right here... KILLER LIZARD?!"  
Fastly, Meg took it and threw it on the umbrella where Peter was and it went inside the umbrella and from there it heard screams and cries  
"Crap, fuck, crapacrap!"  
After all this he finally emerged from the umbrella with scratches and bites everywhere  
"Oh my god, so close, luckily it was just a lizard"  
"Oh really?" said a very masculine alligator who walked on two legs and appeared out of nowhere and the man ran away screaming  
After a little relaxation, Meg and Salvatore dived and had fun at the sea and for Peter was the perfect time for a good joke as he knew  
"Oh yes, now we have fun, hehe" and he dive too with a shark fin over his head going stealthily over the two, but a guy made of wood thought he was a real shark and hit him with a spear and said  
"Yum, shark meat for dinner!"  
Meanwhile, in the Griffin house, Brian was watching TV a program called "Jennifer Aniston on a collision course" and showed her throw herself against the couples, but what he saw made him shock more than the program itself, he saw Jillian and that guy together hand in the hand  
Aniston threw herself upon them, and the guy protected Jillian and said  
"Mike doesn't make hit the girls from other girls, Mike hit the girls that hit other girls" and he took Jennifer by the hair and threw her on the camera breaking it  
"Ouch!"  
"Oh my god, is that with her now?!" he exclaimed upset and ran up indignantly, meanwhile, Peter's wife wondered why he had not returned yet  
"Where the hell he go, at this time he should be around to eat the same stuff, weird"  
*flashback*  
Peter here was eating a burger with fries and sausages and he said  
"Tasty, but it would be something else..." and he took a mouse from a cage and put it inside it and he ate it all in one bite and said  
"A sandwich, very mousy" and then it hear two drum sounds and a plate.  
*end flashback*  
At the beach, Peter continued to secretly make fun of his daughter and her husband, but that day was not his good day, he also tried to dig holes in the sand to make fall on them, but they made hurt the alligator that was making friends with the killer lizard  
"Hell, better than I run" but Peter after said it he fell into the hole and the alligator went up and threw the lizard in and it hears excruciating and harassing screams  
An hour later, the albino-fur dog came out of the house but his friend Stewie stopped him earlier than expected  
"Where do you think you're going? Lois is about to play the piano after a long time, you'll see, you'll die of laughter!"  
"No, I have to talk for a moment with Jillian, you know, I'm worried about that guy, he's got on my nerves"  
Stewie then decided to do something...  
"Then let's go together, even to me that guy doesn't convince me, he looks like a mindless punk without balls, I should call it punkalls!" and they go out of home ready for the next mission; find the guy and Jillian  
The two walked all over the city, until, after an unexpected event with Cleveland in the middle, they found the blonde woman on a car along with that, but she was not at all happy as it thought  
"Let me go bastard pervert, I thought you loved me!"  
She tried to open the doors of the car but they were locked  
"Oh yes, I love you, babe, but as a slut, now kiss me love" and he tried it, but she upset she kicked him very powerful, even some on the low parts, which made him change his voice  
"Aaaah! Onetwothree, I'm enraged, now" but he saw a child and a two-legged dog approach and he exploded from anger  
"Oh no, all we need are those two kids, now we have fun babe!" and put his foot on the accelerator but Jillian tried to stop him but she was put to sleep immediately with the chloroform  
"Jillian, no!" shouted Brian when he saw her unconscious moving away into Mike's car  
The two chased the car but suddenly it disappears in a beam of light leaving flame traces of tires  
"This can't get any worse..." but after the dog's words, Stewie said  
"Wait until you see the next scene Brian" and they were ready for the change of scene by looking at the center.  
At the end of the day, while Stewie and Brian were looking everywhere for where that guy had brought Jillian, the two lovebirds had a great day on the beach without much thought, and they were ready to go back home.  
Peter, however, had not yet made a good joke, and he didn't want to give up, so he prepared himself behind a bush on the beach waiting for Meg had approached him and he would have put out his deadly weapon against boredom, the fart smeller, one of his classic sketches.  
"Hehehe, this will never fail, it will be so much fun"  
*start scene*  
Here we saw scenes from previous and unpublished seasons of the fart in the Meg's face with the commentary of the creator as background  
"Hehe, this was the first time, you know I had eaten heavy, oh, and this, yes, this was very funny, oh, and this one, I didn't remember, maybe I had to go to the bathroom that time..."  
*end scene*  
"It was a beautiful day, isn't it?" Salvatore asked happily for his beloved  
"Yeah love, it was a beautiful day, so without problems, except that lizard and that guy who called me a fat ugly skank"  
"That I kindly clarified him that..."  
*flashback*  
In the middle of the beach there was Salvatore who was holding a boy with the big nose by the shirt threatening him with his fist and shouting  
"How dare you to offend my sweetey, you idiot, you know she's pregnant?!" and he gave him a well done fist on his face making him fall fainted on the ground slowly with a spot-on music in the background  
*end flashback*  
"Rude but effective, now let's go back to the others, they'll be worried" and she walked over to the bush but Salvatore felt a sickening smell and saw a strange pink and flaccid mass near there and he shouted, stopping her just in time  
"Sweetey, stop, better for you if you stay here"  
The boyfriend approached furtively and asked directly to the bush  
"Mr. Griffin, is that you?!"  
The man didn't move and said nothing, but Salvatore moved the bush and he covered himself and screaming girlishly  
"DAD?" cried his daughter, bewildered by him  
"What are you doing here, uh?" asked angry Salvatore at him, crossing his arms  
"Well..." and he tried to escape, farting, but he couldn't, and he exclaimed  
"Crap!"  
"How dare you do such a thing?"  
"Well, um, 'cause I'm her father...?!" he tried to defend himself stupidly but he made only angered Salvatore  
"You know you don't have to treat her anymore like a drunken' garbage can!"  
"Hey, I have at least class and beauty!" suddenly shouted the bin nearby that had strangely spoken  
"Hey man, I can do this and more, because I'm an american adult and then..." but Salvatore didn't really agree and interrupted him badly  
"Oh of course, you haven't thought about how you feel constantly being humiliated and being bullied by friends and family, that's why she even tried to commit suicide many times"  
"Salvatore, what?" shouted the shocked eyeglassed girl  
"Sure, it's not perfect, nobody's perfect, neither I, but now that she has something to live for, you want to start treating her badly again? What an asshole father you are!"  
Peter, feeling indignant and furious, shouted at him  
"Hey, how dare you judge me, mustachioed loser!"  
"He talked the drunk obese retard!" he answered, approaching him as a sign of challenge, while Meg watched her husband and father immobilized, who continued to give insults and shouts each other  
In the end, tired by this, she shouted at them  
"Stop it!"  
"Okay, crap"  
The two, after her speech, they did not look at each other until they return home with the car, that they was brought in by Meg.  
Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie had given up on the search and were returning home, and Brian, disappointed and worried, asked  
"Oh god, we've lost her, and now?"  
"You can always call the police" answered the tired child  
"It would not help..."  
They entered the house and they saw confused Salvatore and Peter turned one on the right and the other on the left of the sofa at home and Meg looked at them sad, then Brian approached and asked curiously from that situation  
"Hey, how was the beach trip between you two?"  
"Disgusting!" Salvatore said, still irritated  
"Really, what's... " but Stewie blocked him pulling his tail as strong as he could and said  
"Brian, what have I told you not to get involved in these things, they are useless like them, so go away!"  
"But Stewie..."  
The situation calmed with Lois' arrival who said bringing some snacks to everyone  
"Here you go some... Peter, where were you all this time?" she asked, but Salvatore answered to Peter's place; he had never done it...  
"You know what your fat husband was doing? He was following us like a stalker and he wanted to do the lame bully as before!"  
"What did you say?!" the angry man stood up immediately for the affront  
"I said, you're following us like a stalker and you wanted to do the lame bully as before!"  
"How dare you talk to me like that?"  
"Salvatore, please stop" but Meg spoke in vain because the Italian after said  
"I dare, and the best part is, and that not only you do almost nothing at home, except your usual everyday nonsense, such as making unfunny jokes to us!"  
*flashback*  
The great Peter was talking to his son Chris in the kitchen about a funny thing while Salvatore and Meg were making out on the couch  
Shortly after Peter, aware of the thing, he took an object and a sling and told Chris to do the same and to call the others, and moments later there were all Griffins possible to target them with a sling  
"Fire!" said the boss of the family and he threw a narcotizing arrow with his slingshot and hit his daughter astounding her husband  
"Sweetey...? Grrr, who f**k do this?!" but he was hit by a brick thrown by Chris and he also fainted comically  
*end flashback*  
"But you ruins our existence with your stupid, nonsense alchoolic jokes from every possible location!"  
*flashback*  
Peter and his daughter's husband were driving to go somewhere when the man said, breaking the ice  
"Y'know Salvatore, you are an average, Italian, you get it?" but he didn't react as Peter wanted and he opened the door and threw himself out  
*end flashback*  
"Oh... " Lois was stunned by the boy's words, which continued to scold his wife's father  
"So Peter, you should think about taking care of your daughter now that she is about to become a mother rather than doing these ignoble things!"  
"Yeah, but you don't have the right to talk to me and order what you want, she's still my daughter, even if she doesn't seem it, asshole!"  
Salvatore irritated as he never be approached him threateningly to shout him  
"You're an asshole, idiot and selfish, who do you think you are, Nicholas Cage?!"  
*start scene*  
Cage, dressed like a dictator, he whipped many famous actors like an Egyptian scene and made them go to an isolation prison and made them sing without stops just to say  
"You don't say?"  
*end scene*  
"Calm down you two, oh god, but what happens to you?"  
Brian tried to calm them down but the boy unfortunately made Peter's camel back.  
"You know what you are now? You're a heartless and braindead fat moron with no future whatsoever, you make me sick!" but a second later to the word, Peter gave him a powerful fist, throwing him on a wall, shocking everyone  
He, outraged, got up and went to him, causing an unprecedented family fight  
"Oh my god, stop it!" shouted Lois bewildered with her hands on her face  
"How nice, so they'll kill each other, who knows who will win..." Stewie said happy while eating popcorn probably taken from the tray of his mother, meanwhile Chris, who was upstairs, heard those noises and ran down  
"Wow, that's great, fight, fight!" he said urging them, but his mother Lois stopped him by pushing him  
Meanwhile, Meg felt bad looking at them and, after thinking for a long time, she shouted so loudly that the windows of the house almost not broken  
"STOP!"  
The two, full of bruises, stopped and saw her crying, so Salvatore, thinking that it was Peter's fault, he shout still furious pointing at her  
"Bravo, you made cry my sweetey, now you will be happy selfish ass man!"  
But Peter defended himself from him raising his fist  
"Grrr, look that the blame is y..." but the eyeglassed daughter shouted at him unexpectedly, blocking him  
"Shut up dad!"  
The girl, now tired, began to raise the voice to the litigants  
"Now I've had enough, it must have been an unforgettable day, but you ruined it!" feeling her, the two lowered their heads while Brian approached the Italian and Lois to her husband  
"Dad, you should treat me with a little respect now, I'm not the same as before, and Salvatore, you should not get mad so exaggerated, I was so used to it"  
Her husband, wiping his bloody face, said sadly  
"B-But sweetey..."  
"Now make peace now!"  
Peter and Salvatore, looking at her eyes, at the end they shook hands as a sign of truce, but the man with the white shirt then whispered to the boy intimidating him  
"I only do it because I was getting bored, but after, get ready for the Round Two boy"  
Calm down the situation and medicated the injured men, Brian and Stewie saw Meg hugging her husband and her father tenderly and Lois who punished Chris for incite them, but the dog had a thought about something...  
"How is she now, I hope that bastard not have do..." but suddenly he saw her looking out the window of his house and ran four happier than ever  
"Oh Jillian, thanks to God that I don't believe, you're safe!"  
"Yes Brian. I was able to call the police and they helped me escape to that sexy maniac" she replied with her usual tone, embarrassing the canine ex  
"There's no chance we'll get back together right?" he asked, scratching the back of his head  
"No, but we'll still be friends, come here puppy"  
Jillian let Brian out of the house and caressed his belly and she made himself cuddled like a real dog  
"But now I don't know anymore where is my house"  
The confused blonde scratched her head, looking around, but a voice soon replied  
"I can help you, babe!" talking was the great chin Quagmire who was nearby  
"Thank you, gentleman, but maybe we already met somewhere, right?"  
"Not exactly"  
"Ah, you know, I have this feeling"  
Quagmire then told him seductively, holding his hand in her shoulder  
"Come on, I'll help you find your home, but first, how about drinking something at my house?" and he took her to his house ready for who knows what leaving Brian strangely irritated.

 **END**


	12. Mayor Problems

**A reminder...**

 **This was a normal episode when I first wrote it, but when Adam West died, this became a tribute episode, so, enjoy it and rest in peace Adam...**

It was an afternoon like any other at Griffin's house, and a very fat man with a white shirt was watching TV and drinking beer belching while in the bathroom, his daughter, who was pregnant too, choose to take a shower alone, but first she wanted to see herself in the mirror for a moment  
"Wow, I put on a few pounds, I hope Salvatore still finds me attractive"  
She undressed and went into the shower, while in the meantime, far away, something was about to happen  
"This is not the thing that must happen!" Cleveland said as he was framed that he was going out with his wife to go shopping together  
The camera went up until it made visible the city hall and framed the Mayor of Quahog, who was thinking something funny, laughing  
"Yes, it could work, it will be a great time, now we have fun my shadow" he said directly to his shadow, but he went out of sight and there was a loud cry  
Later, the girl came out of the shower and while she was drying on all sides suddenly she felt hurtful  
"Aaaaahh, what the hell's happening to me?"  
She felt abdomen pains and they was very strong, making her scream in pain a couple of times and immediately called the first person who came to her mind to help her  
"Salvatore!"  
Many seconds passed but no one answered, so she put the towel with diffuculty to cover herself and, sore, she ran with all the strength she had but no one was home anymore; she was practically alone...  
"O-Oh my god, I'm alone like Kung Fu Panda!"  
*start scene*  
All five furious, his friends, monkey, mantis, crane, viper, and tiger, had been cooked and eaten by all the customers of his adoptive father's restaurant, and he was the last one in his menu.  
"Father, what's wrong with you, why are you doing this?"  
The bird, which became bad for unknown reasons, then stabbed him coldly with a sadistic face and eventually made him become panda stew, end.  
*end scene*  
The girl named Meg, still hurtful because of the pain, she got dressed with difficulty and tried to call for help outside the house, but what she saw made her hope that it was not true, the whole neighborhood was like desert, and she was now desperate  
"Oh my g-god, it can't b-be..." and she collapsed to the ground in pain and called her husband to save her from that situation  
"S-Salvatore!"  
Not seeing him, in the end the pain took over and made her lose consciousness, but in the middle of the area a strange creature with feathers wandered around there, not caring for the dying girl looking for something, but he quickly went away .  
After recovering herself, she realized that she was in a hospital bed with her husband holding her hand waiting for her to wake up  
"Sweetey, you're alive!" he hugged her, but she still felt some pains, but fortunately slight  
"Ah, l-love, but you know where I am?" she asked confused  
"You're to the hospital, I brought you here seeing you in that pitiful state..." the boy said sadly  
"Pitiful state, ngh, but what happened to me and where are all and where were you?"  
"Well..." and started a flashback  
*flashback*  
"I was bringing you some flowers caught in a strange garden of one when I heard a sound like an alarm that made the whole city run, including our family, in a place that I couldn't understand where and why" while he was telling it, he was showing everything in the flashback  
"Not seeing you next to them I then moved on to our house and I saw you lying there on the ground with someone who wanted to take a picture with you, so I kicked him away and I immediately brought you right here"  
*end flashback*  
"And the pain that I still feel? Don't tell me I'm already..." she said worriedly but he calmed her by massaging her abdomen  
"No, the doctor at least fortunately stayed here, and told me that the baby had a small problem, but nothing serious"  
"Thanks Salvatore, very thanks!"  
"I would do anything for you my sweetey"  
The two kissed each other tenderly, but that alarm from before sounded again and Meg got up from bed, having recovered enough  
"We'll have to go to check, would you come with me?" she asked him  
"Yes, but first, doctor, can she leave?" but no one answered him, irritating him  
"Screw him..."  
He and her left the hospital hand in hand but the doctor, who was behind the door, exclaimed irritably  
"Screw you!"  
The origin of the sound alarm and the reason that everyone had come to that place that was near the town hall was...  
"Oh my god, someone killed the Mayor!" exclaimed shocked a tall, brown man pointing at the body  
"Calm down, stay calm, the police are already looking for the killer" reassured a well-known wheelchair man  
They had found the dying body of Mayor Adam West and everyone was in a general panic, and Peter, who was with his family, except for the two lovebirds, told them  
"Oh crap, and now what will happen, will we gotta go to space?!" and immediately he imagined that the planet had lost its gravity and everyone was rising in the sky screaming  
"Peter, what you think will not happen!" shouted his wife Lois knowing what he thought  
"However the killer is still in freedom, I'm afraid mom!" said his son Chris terrified, clutching his mother  
The family dog, however, wondered something  
"Do we think we miss someone?"  
"No Brian, it's just us, and that matters" said an egg-headed child, his best friend  
"Yeah Brian, if I'm not mistaken they missing a eyeglassed monster and a creepy madman" but when Brian tried to answer to the holder, the two arrived just in time and said nervously  
"And here they are"  
"What the hell is going on, a-and why did not you look for us?!" Salvatore asked indignantly  
"Well, first it was not worth it, and then you know what's going on, the Mayor died"  
"What?!" Meg and her husband shouted  
"But how is all this possible?"  
"I have no idea, it's worse than when I tried to decipher that ancient manuscript"  
*flashback*  
Peter was reading a manual of Chris's new computer and he had confused his words  
"Hell, it's a very old language"  
"It's spanish, Peter" Lois said next to him for assistance  
While the blonde child waited patiently, the man was amazed reading the instructions and said  
"Wait, if this paragraph means, the treasure is in your wife's vagina"  
"What do you say!" and she got irritated out of the room  
"Yes, maybe could be..." he went to Lois, but then he felt a stroke and a strong blow that made Chris petrified  
*end flashback*  
The city had gathered in one place to think about what to do, they were all discussing, even the animals around  
"It seems logical that someone must now become Mayor or this city will be doomed" said the big chin womanizer of the city, Quagmire  
"I'll do it!" Peter raised his hand but Lois lowered it soon after  
"No, you've already done the Mayor of a city once and it's too much!"  
The husband answered complaining  
"Come on, don't ruin my big apple!"  
"What apple, where is it?" asked his son Chris, getting excited  
Lois meanwhile continued, crossing his arms  
"Listen, Peter, I don't want you to do any other nonsense, and then you already have a job, the football coach"  
"That I left Lois, long time ago"  
Salvatore was amazed to hear it, and said  
"And when did it happen?!"  
"I told ya some time ago, but are you cheesed?!"  
"Where's the cheese mom, I'm hungry!" the blonde told again  
"My brother is, how we say, a brain retarded, tell the truth" Stewie said to the viewers pointing at him, but someone was disturbed...  
"Make it shut up!" shouted the Jewish pharmacist Mort referred to Chris while he was talking to his son and other people about the Mayor  
"Sorry dad, but why should we do it, uh?" his son Neil was confused  
"Because in this way the city will be much more comfortable for us Jews, and then I will be able to do my plan"  
"What plan?"  
"Nothing Neil, you're too less Jewish to understand it" and he caressed him like a cat, meanwhile, on the other side of the square, some black guys were talking about the murder  
"Who would that be?" he asked the others a mustachioed man with an overwhelmed laugh  
"Maybe it was that pills guy" said another black man, but much more in shape than he was  
"No, what are you saying, it's clear that guy is a brainless drug addict, just think what he did five days ago at the orphanage nearby"  
*flashback*  
A man with no hair was giving strange pills to the children at the orphanage by caressing them  
"Keep children, it's for the cold, the fever, and for your worst problems, like your useless life"  
*end flashback*  
But suddenly a woman, the wife of the mustachioed man, noticed something and informed him in shock  
"Cleveland, we have a problem!"  
"What?" and he went to see and saw many people shouting seeing that Adam West's body had strangely vanished  
"What the hell, how did he disappear?" Joe exclaimed, seeing everyone go in panic  
"I have no idea, he can't be escaped, we were all here!" a friend of his told him, looking after around  
"Here Tom Tucker, there's only one thing to do, catch the culprit, and immediately!"  
The larger chicken meantime he was eating some food placed there at random quietly  
The policeman friend tried to calm everyone, but he was quite upset too, and he said  
"This thing is stranger than the time Bonnie and I were at the camp with Kevin when he was little"  
*flashback*  
The Swanson family was making a bonfire in the woods and the little Kevin suddenly slammed into his father and exclaimed  
"Bear!"  
"Careful Kevin, you will hurt your father if you hit him like that"  
But the son took his father's narcotizing gun and shot him straight in the throat, shocking his mother  
"Kevin, what did you do?!" but a real bear came up and Kevin called him dad and got kidnapped by him.  
*end flashback*  
All the locals reunite in small groups to form crime squads and the Griffin family was with three other people, Neil, Neil's father and Quagmire, who had nothing to do with Neil  
"Thanks guys, if we catch the killer and I will become Mayor, you all have something special" Peter said hugging them all  
"What kind?" Mort asked  
"You'll see..."  
*start scene*  
Here was a Peter who gave puppets of himself that if pressed its belly it made a fart and laughed like him  
"Hehe, it's amazing, right?"  
*end scene*  
Meanwhile, Salvatore's wife disliked being with one of the team, exactly Neil Goldman  
"Yuck, we have to stay with Neil. Better than nothing"  
"Maybe nothing is better I would say" replied the Italian husband, but the nerdy boy came up and said in amazement  
"So Meg, how's the relationship going? Oh look at your belly, if he don't satisfy you anymore I can kindly have you..." but Salvatore closed his mouth with his hand, not letting him breathe  
"Look Neil, I know you were completely crazy before and you thought you had chances, but between me and her it works perfectly, so don't touch that topic anymore and think to help us, okay?" and then he let him go, but with a great breath he shouted to his same father pulling his shirt  
"Daddy, Salvatore bullies me!"  
"C'mon, let's not fight guys" Mort said while talking to Peter, but Meg's brother said to the jew's son  
"Neil, what's up, how long, remember when we were friends?"  
"But we're still friends" he answered in confusion  
"Well, fortunately" Chris looked at him wrong after saying it  
"It will be beautiful ten of us together, but where do we start from?" Lois asked to the others, but Quagmire answered with a seductive look  
"From you Lois"  
"Quagmire, let's not start again..."  
But Peter came to him something in mind  
"Woah, I have an idea, let's start from that grocery store that I went there recently that sells those strange sandwiches"  
*flashback*  
"Well, I want a cheese sandwich and one with salami and ham" said Peter in the shop, and immediately the butcher cut the hands of two slaves and painted them the same colors of the ingredients and put them in the sandwich and gave them to Peter as soon as he bit one he said  
"Yum, these sandwiches are good, they seem to have been handmade, or with the hands, it's the same"  
*end flashback*  
"Lame" the child answered, having seen the flashback, but Lois didn't agreed and said  
"But according to you a criminal would go there to hide, tell me what's the point?!"  
"If he was hungry for sure he passed there, c'mon Lois, think"  
"I don't think with your stupid things Peter, I just say that..." but she was interrupted by the first-born's husband, furious  
"Stop arguing, let's search!" and the ten of that team set off, but they were the last ones to go hunting for the killer, and, after so much time of wasted effort, they not found nothing suspicious, or almost...  
"Tell us, it was you?!"  
"Stop talk to the car Peter, it wouldn't help" said his friend with the big chin  
"Ah, and if he knew anything, like that rodent who knew how to get to the Mayan treasure?"  
*flashback*  
Above a skyscraper, a man and a mouse, icons of their franchises, had been there talking for two hours  
"I told you I'm Mickey Mouse, not the Mayan chief"  
"Crap, you told me that you knew it"  
"I said, fat, I'm Mickey Mouse, the gay mouse, not what you want!"  
"Come on, where's the treasure, or I'll blow your ears"  
"I prefer to die!" and he committed suicide by jumping from the skyscraper squeaking  
"Crap, now who will tell to Disney?"  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile that Peter's team stopped for a pause of thinking, the giant chicken was on the other side of the city looking for the Mayor's killer, to prove to the rival to be better, but a herd of buffalo was accidentally released and they chased over-excited the bird  
The chicken masterfully dodged them all and resumed the search by riding one of the buffaloes like a cowboy  
Shortly after, the husband of Meg breaks the silence of the team impatient  
"Guys, we can't go on like this, we need more research, someone has a radar track down people or a tablet?"  
"Well, I have a tablet, but it's in Hebrew language, unfortunately..." Mort replied, showing the object  
"Put it in Italian, and give it to me, thank you" and, with cunning and difficulty, he did it and gave it to Italian  
"What do you want to do Salvatore?" Lois asked, confused, but Stewie said one of his own  
"Surely play our game"  
"Now you'll see"  
He opened an application to write from the tablet and spoke in a notice tone  
"Well folks, now we play, now I'll question everyone, and I'll mark your name if you are innocent, so if the culprit among us comes, zak!" and he gestured with his fingers like scissors, astounding everyone  
"Smart, I didn't know that these Italians were so cunning, I thought they were drinking and eating raw pizza all the time, and that they eventually sang like oysters"  
*start scene*  
Here as Peter thought there were some Italian guys dancing to the rhythm of a popular song and eating pizza slices in the meantime for many hours  
*end scene*  
For the scene all the citizens remained impassive and looked at the maker man  
"What's wrong?" Peter exclaimed.  
Salvatore began the long interrogation of his team, and saved his wife who was super innocent to him  
Then he went to the inhabitants of the area, including a pirate man...  
"Aarrgh!"  
Lois's parents...  
"At least he got what he deserves that weirdo!"  
A man disguised as a crazy horse, the giant chicken, who tried to peck him, and finally all those of the other teams, including himself  
At the end of all this nothing good came out, and he became disappointed  
"Damn, the whole city is innocent, including that killer over there" he said as he pointed him  
"It wasn't me, I swear, even if I wanted to do it for a long time" and closed the door of his house  
"You were still good love, what now?" asked Meg comforting him, but his father bored by everything said  
"I have another idea, why don't you shut up Meg?" but Salvatore, hearing that phrase he hated, became irritated and replied to him in a bad way  
"Hey, she don't have to shut up, you should shut up Mr. Griffin!"  
"Listen you two, don't argue now, for the good of the country" said Brian but Stewie pulled at his hair making him scream and shouted at him irritably  
"Brian, do you always get in the way?"  
"Yes, something?!"  
Chris meanwhile told his father  
"Daddy, meanwhile Neil and I can we play with Meg? I have one thing in mind..." and he thought a bad joke to make but he realized that he didn't have it in mind and chuckled  
"Good idea, dad can we?" Neil then asked his father  
"No, first I have to reset the Hebrew language here, damn it!" and he threw the tablet in rage, but it slammed right on Meg's head, who screamed and shouted at the impact  
"Oh, what the hell are you doing?!"  
The situation was getting very bad because at that point Salvatore said nervously  
"What the hell are you doing, stupid idiot!"  
"What am I doing? Dude, it's you that you've damaged my device with your stupid and arrogant language and now you have to pay me!" said Mort to him angry  
"Hey don't try to insult my language, you that can't even know how turn on a normal chainsaw"  
*flashback*  
Mort, the Jew, was trying everything to cut someone's tree for revenge when he got the idea of using a chainsaw, but tried to slam it on the tree to make it on, and then to tell it the sentence  
"Turn on hellish machine!" but he didn't succeed, then he prayed desperately, but that didn't work either  
"Oh for Adonai's sake!" and suddenly he pulled a rope and it finally turn on, but unfortunately he cut his leg instead of the tree.  
*end flashback*  
Quagmire, seeing the situation of the team degenerate, he tried to calm the spirits  
"Let's stop it, we shouldn't discuss when there's a killer in the city"  
"Speak for you, sexual maniac!" shouted Neil indignantly at the big chin man  
"Hey, I'm going slowly with the girls, and I don't stalk them like you, and then..." he approached the nerd's ear to tell him something  
"Once I was almost close to Meg, you know?"  
"Grrrr, now you'll pay for this!" and he tried to jump on him but the big chin man dodged him instinctively  
They were practically quarreling all in Peter's team, Salvatore with Peter and Mort, Brian with Stewie, Neil with Quagmire, and finally Chris with his sister and mother; why it was unknown  
While shouting at each other though, some people from the other teams saw a strange masked guy who was sneaking away  
"Here's the killer, let's take it!" one shouted, and suddenly many people around were pursuing the alleged killer, and after a great Scooby Doo style chasing, they caught him.  
"What the hell happened?" Peter asked as he finished arguing like the others  
Joe came close to the rope-bound killer and said to everyone  
"Now let's see who it is, I hope it's not a disappointment like Sharknado 2"  
The policeman took the mask off, and everyone, even the chicken that was there in the group, was very astonished to see that it was...  
"Mayor Adam West?!" they all shouted confused  
"Did he kill himself?"  
"What the hell, is he still alive?!" then Brian shouted, raising his hands  
"Yes it's me, now listen to me all please..." and his flashback went off  
*flashback*  
I was thinking in my house when I had an idea, why not pretend to have been murdered, and so I false my death thanks to my assistants, and magician tricks. After you came to me you immediately thought about who the killer might be, and so, while you were distracted, I escaped and hid myself as a killer, and I even had a sleep there in the park"  
*fine flashback*  
"So, you tricked all of us enourmously just for what?!" Joe asked, ready to explode  
"Well, for do Mayor laughs, and, actually, haha, I liked how that haired underpaid Italian was go from all sides as an irresponsible fool"  
"Hey!" Salvatore exclaimed irritably  
All the inhabitants of the city remained impassive and very irritated by the thing, he had made them believe that there was a ruthless killer in the city, and look at them so furious Mayor Adam West told them  
"Why do those faces, wasn't that fun?" but ten seconds later almost all of his citizens went to him and beat him with every means, except for Salvatore and Meg who were near the screen to cover the violent beating  
"All is well that ends well, I think!"  
"Although, now that you have that belly, you're much sexier, hihi" said Salvatore to her, but she first slapped him and then kissed him  
Eventually it all ended up with a dying Mayor and a chicken who kept trying to defeat his arch rival Peter in fight but appeared the text to be continued all of a sudden.

 **END**


	13. Nothing Underchin

The morning, for the man named Glenn Quagmire, it was time to wander around in search of girls to have fun, but he felt lazy and become happy only approaching a small woman nearby but eventually she felt sick and Quagmire took her in the hospital pretending to be her cousin, that was his daily routine  
In another house, in the same area as Quagmire's, a fat, brown, mustached man woke up from his bed at that hour  
"Good morning life, what?" but he realized awaken that his wife wasn't in the bed and immediately he got dressed and as soon as he went to the kitchen he saw her visibly angry and, after a general debate, the man named Cleveland Brown went out to buy the shopping, this too was a routine, no?  
Soon the two routines will clash in one tragic story, stay to watch Family Guy people...  
"Great, why she couldn't do her shopping on Thursday" Cleveland said, complaining as he was entering the Stop n 'Shop market, but soon after he saw his friend Peter's wife in the counter pay something to the saleswoman  
"Well, a thick garbage bag, XXXL diaper bag, Nixtor alkaline batteries, a box of dog food that resembles human food, and awfully absorbents, all makes seventy-five dollars and ten cents"  
The woman named Lois paid for everything, and after putting the items in a special envelope, she noticed the black man and greeted him like that  
"Hi Cleve"  
"Why do you keep calling me Cleve every time I come here?" he asked very irritated by the name  
*flashback*  
The man was buying something for his children but Lois passed by and greeted him with the name Cleve and he snarled like a dog, the next day she re-greeted him while he was paying some canned food and he snarled like a puma  
On the third time she greeted him, he took the assistant next door and threw her at her with great force.  
*end flashback*  
His friend's wife answered him warmly  
"'Cause it's cute and sweet" after she said it he stroked him with a finger and changed the subject  
"However, Donna what want you to buy today?"  
"She wants me to buy this" and he showed him the shopping list that was strangely small  
"Since I'm here, I could help you buy the shopping, what do you say Cleve?"  
Cleveland replied, still irritating  
"Of course, but stop call me Cleve!"  
"Sorry, anyway let's go" and the two took the necessary items to buy one after another with a matching music, and after a series of strange events they succeeded and danced on the counter of the saleswoman  
Meanwhile, the other man...  
"Ah, yeah, this is life..."  
He was relaxing lying on a beachchair in underwear in the garden outside the house, but a woman was approaching him, furious not a little  
"Hey, what kind of obscenity do you do?!"  
"Oh hi Cleveland's wife, how are you?" Quagmire asked calmly in his tone of voice  
"Good, but the point is, why are you in your underwear in front of the street?"  
The big chin man answered her turning from the other side of the chair  
"To relax after a stressful morning, obvious"  
The woman shouted furiously, crossing her arms  
"Do you know that there are my children around?" nearby the voices of his two and a half sons were heard  
"It doesn't matter, that's fine with me" said the first-born Roberta  
"Ditto" spoke a bit shy son of her husband Junior  
"Go to hell!" shouted his little Rallo  
The man with the big chin after he answered his friend's wife by getting up from the deck chair  
"Yes, but I'm sure that even if I were on the beach, they would see me like that, so what's wrong?"  
"What what's wrong, come back home or get something!" she was heating up a little too much  
"Please, let me stay a little longer here, don't ruin the fun like the nun chained to the Peter's car"  
*flashback*  
The mischievous Quagmire was playing with a nun who had been tied voluntarily on the hood of his friend and were on their way to the final point when Donna and Lois arrived just in time to shout  
"What the hell are you doing?!"  
The nun had a heart attack by fear and Quagmire told annoyed  
"Crap, thank you so much..." and he left leaving her tied up there, but Peter and Brian suddenly entered the car and turn on with all the nun leaving the visual.  
*end flashback*  
"I don't want to ruin anything, I just want you to be good or I'll have to do this" and Glenn saw that she rolled up her sleeves and she started taking his clothes from his house  
"No, what are you doing, stop!"  
Donna took him and made him reluctantly dress with great strength and when it was over, the woman wiped her hands and went back to her house, but Quagmire had a strange look  
"Damn to Cleveland's wife, since she moved here she always spoils all the fun, almost like the WWF"  
*start scene*  
Some men, with helmets, telescopes, and armor, were trying to save a protected species by a known exploiter and animal dealer, but the truth is that the animal to be saved is a dark-skinned woman and the dealer was Quagmire.  
"Hey, what?!" the guys took her and caged her and then took her away with a helicopter, indignating the man with the big chin  
"Bring back my babe, I have to bring her back to her poor family in Bangladesh before they kill me!" he shouted chasing the helicopter that had fly off but he surrendered when the helicopter went higher and higher and vanished  
"Damn..."  
*end scene*  
Meanwhile, Cleveland the black and Lois the white exit to the supermarket happy and pleased  
"We did it!"  
But the man with the mustache said something  
"Luckily it was little Lois, hehe" but Lois didn't laugh and greeted him as he left  
"See you soon Peter's friend" and took the car and went from there  
"Bye Lois"  
Thank goodness, always better than Cleve... he thought happily  
After a trip with his car, the Brown man went into the Brown house and after laid the charge he strangely saw that he was alone  
"Hey Donna, are you home?" but nobody answered the call  
"Donna, I did the shopping, where you go, you maybe don't want to joke like yesterday"  
*flashback*  
He was entering the house after the usual out to the Clam with his friends and his wife Donna tripped him and flooded him with a strange substance from a bucket and everyone in the house laughed, even Peter who was only there to steal something.  
"Oh black fudge..."  
*end flashback*  
Cleveland searched throughout the house, but what he found was only his stepson Rallo while he was with the younger son of the neighbors to do something "innocent" in the room  
"Hi good kids, hey Rallo, did you see your mother?" asked his father  
"No fatass" he replied dry and indifferent  
"Too bad... be good" and went out of the house swinging  
"Why does everyone understand you and to me just a fat boy and a dog?!" Stewie asked, confused by the situation  
"And what do I know, now let's think about killing those two fools"  
"Yeah, dear friend" and they aimed deadly weapons from the window on their brothers Chris and Cleveland Junior  
"Don't call me dear friend"  
At Griffin's home, Lois, after shopping, she took a moment to rest before cooking for the family  
"Maybe it's better to look some TV"  
Bored, she turned on the home TV but there was doing a program based on rare diseases but hilarious  
"And now let's talk about the next, which will be so deadly fun" but after having said one in the room he seriously died, but was censored, and they heard screams of terror  
"Okay..."  
The woman was about to change channel but saw something there made her change her mind  
"Here you go the Lackenchin... hahahahah, what a name!"  
As she looked at a picture of a woman's face like her, the TV man was crying out loud  
"Oh my god, really?" Lois wondered, then looking at the explanation of the disease, which strangely had never been heard before  
"Okay, with this, Lackenchin, haha, let's finish with, the AIDS!"  
The woman in the greenish shirt turned off the TV confused, but also a little skeptical  
"What the hell did he say that?"  
"The usual things he usually says" to hear that voice, she turned, and saw the family dog drinking something from a glass  
"Really Brian?"  
"Yes, don't always believe in television, except for the news, don't make the my same mistake..."  
Shortly after Quagmire, who was remained dressed, this time, out of curiosity he knocked on the door of the Browns and opened to his surprise Donna  
"Oh hi Cleveland's friend"  
"Hi, well, can I enter? Always if I don't disturb"  
"No problem, did you come to see Cleveland?"  
"Not really, but yes" he entered and after a while the two talked about many topics, including...  
"Well, Cleveland is really a great idiot, every time you tell him to do something he must always do wrong the easiest thing, otherwise he is not him"  
After the two of them laughed and spread a little more of the man, Quagmire looked at Donna with a sincere glance and told her  
"Look Donna, I know it's inappropriate, but how about becoming friends, but secretly, I don't want your husband to make again the wrong idea about m..." but he was interrupted by his friend's wife who said  
"Don't worry, Glenn, can I call you Glenn?"  
"Sure" he replied, but he heard a voice that alarmed both him and Donna, it was Cleveland who was coming back  
"Hurry, go upstairs and exit at the main window!"  
He got up and ran away, but stopped only to greet her  
"So, we'll see tomorrow, right?"  
"Yeah, go, hurry!" and Quagmire climbed the stairs and ran away from a window but underneath there were many different "stuffed animals"  
"At least it's a soft landing" but then he heard the drink friend's voice make questions to his wife and said  
"If Cleveland knew that I see myself with his wife he would tear me apart, luckily nothing will ever come out of this mouth, like at the Strip Club"  
*flashback*  
Quagmire was to see a woman who was making a fiery lap dance until he took her in a luxurious room to do her and she showed him her bottom, but he was shocked and covered his eyes, because she had there something inappropriate  
"Don't tell to anyone, naughty" she said, touching him gently with her finger  
"Sure..."  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile in Brown's house...  
"Hey Donna, but where were you? I looked for you everywhere"  
She tried to answer him but she didn't know what to say, so Donna lied at the last second  
"I was going to shave with Peter's wife. A woman can't shave with another woman?"  
"Oh, it's weird, but I'd first met Lois at the market and helped me with the shopping, how is it that there are two Lois nowadays?" he asked suspiciously, scratching his chin  
"What a fool I am, it was Peter's daughter, how fool" she laughed for a while but then she came back serious and said  
"Well, now I'm going to cook!" and she ran into the kitchen making suspicious Cleveland  
"Surely she's hiding something from me, but Donna would never lie to me. It's very strange, like a Japanese who imitates a Russian" Cleveland said, and the said scene appeared  
*start scene*  
A Japanese here imitated the famous President Putin that was often kicked by dancers to the rhythm of a suitable song until his death.  
*end scene*  
Meanwhile in the Griffin house, while everyone else was doing their things, Lois was ready to read a book, after an enourmous effort to prepare lunch for seven people, counting Brian  
"Good, and now we read..."  
Suddenly popped between it a paragraph on the probabilities of lack of the human limbs, and there was the possibility that someone could be without the chin due to an illness  
She outraged threw away the book that was taken by a random baseball player and she exclaimed angry  
"Come on!"  
Suddenly she remembered something and said upset  
"Damn, maybe it's better if I call my mother right away"  
Curious, Lois picked up the phone and dialed her mother's number, but the Pewterschmidt family answer machine was heard  
"Hello, I'm Carter, owner of Pewterschmidt Corporation, right now I'm doing what I like, leave a message after the following sentence... losers!" and she heard the beep, but she hung up loudly and said  
"Hell, I think it's better not to think about it anymore, or I could end up with someone I know..."  
The next day, Donna left the house explaining to Cleveland that she had to do a commission for herself and left, but seeing that her husband was looking out of the window, she turned away and disappeared from his sight, and then went secretly into the Quagmire's house  
"Crap, and if by chance shebetrayed me? Nah, it's not one to bring someone else to bed, or mayb..." and he imagined if by chance his wife would dump him for another, one of the most popular singers and that he was also his friend, will.  
"Now your woman is my woman, so go away dude" and called his bouncers and kicked him off like a rugby ball and one said  
"Touchdown!"  
Finished his imagination he said upset  
"No, I cannot afford such a thing!"  
Determined, the black Cleveland was coming out of the house, but his stepson stopped him and told him  
"Father, if you want to spy on my mother, use this!" and the son named Rallo handed him a spy tracking device from a hidden sack  
"Rallo, where you got this thing, it doesn't look like a toy" asked the mustache, shocked, and the boy said, lying  
"Uhm, on Internet!"  
"Okay, thanks" and gullible, he went off to do his mission  
"Thank goodness, that dude didn't have to know where I take these things..."  
*flashback*  
"Thanks Santa Kid!" Rallo said in front of the supposed guy, and it was Stewie disguised on purpose  
"You're welcome Rallo Tubbs!" and he shot himself with a pistol-shaped gun and disappeared magically.  
*end flashback*  
It was late afternoon and Cleveland still had no news of his wife, until the device made loud sounds  
"Bingo, now let's see where you hunt woman!"  
He followed the indication provided by the gadget and took him far to an amusement park  
"Strange, why should she go here..."  
He went into the crowd around, but Cleveland was not tracking what he think, but someone else...  
"Here you are, Donna ... oops..."  
He had taken a tall, brunette girl like Donna than furois she moved him badly and cried him out  
"Hey, get out of my way, fuc***' fat pervert!" and she kicked him into the low parts until he screamed  
"Uuuh, I knew Rallo was p-playful, but keeping a g-girl under control is not from him..." and he slumped to the ground, sore  
In truth, the real Donna was walking friendly in a forest with her neighbor Quagmire, until she suddenly sneezed  
"Damn, sorry, maybe I'm allergic to nature" she said apologetically  
"Or maybe we are allergic to you!" answered a flower rudely nearby.  
The next day, the housewife Lois was still reading a book sitting on the sofa when her daughter's husband approached her and asked her something unexpected  
"Lois, do you think there's a chance that our son or daughter has a chin or not?"  
She didn't know what to say, she just wanted to forget about this chin disease, so she said a little irritated  
"I have no idea..."  
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want that me and Meg had a baby with a chin like Quagmire" but Lois couldn't stand it over and interrupted him  
"Please, don't worry dear, what I know and that only females can strangely have this possibility, and now I would like to be alone, thank you!" hearing those words Salvatore went intimidated while the redhead lay on the couch as stressed; she had only one thing in mind...  
Oh my god, if a male without a chin were born, it would be the right proof to clarify this stupid thing, but I need to know more about this Lackenchin first  
She got up from the couch and looked around the house for a family album that could give her the right answer to get her soul in peace and discredit those idiots of the book and on TV  
"Here it is, the Pewterschmidt family tree"  
Lois began to search through the album while the time passed quickly, and even the people, than did strange things at the same speed, but unfortunately she couldn't find the proof of this strange pathology  
"Nothing, nothing at all, now I feel like Peter when he didn't find the way home"  
*flashback*  
Coming from a building, Peter kept with him the envelopes that containing the strange bottles, he put them in his car and drove off  
Unfortunately, he go in a one-way street and he always turn around endlessly  
"Crap" he said every time he turned away  
*end flashback*  
She put down the family album, threw away that book forever and left the house to investigate better by going to the television station but that program had been cancelled and killed and she found nothing on the Internet, so she came home depressed with that thought that devoured her going upstairs and getting into her bed to wallow  
So much so that she was agitated that she no longer did the services and didn't take care of the house anymore, even when Peter took his friends to have a big party at home that evening  
"Lois, Lois!" shouted the exasperated husband from his wife's unanswered reply  
"Do you want me to check?" asked Salvatore, forced by Peter to join the party  
"No, I prefer you to come, Lois!" he shouted again, disturbing everyone at home  
"Peter, how long she's like this?" asked Joe the disabled man worried for her, and after having drank a beer, Peter answered  
"I have no idea, in these times she's always active, even in bed, but now it seems that the world fell on her..."  
Meanwhile, his friend Cleveland had strange presentiments about Quagmire and asked him curiously  
"Quagmire, have you seen Donna recently?"  
"Well, no, but I met her a few days ago, she scolded me and that's all..." he answered nervously  
"Strange, why then she often comes out, when she return home I'll ask her"  
"I should also ask my wife something, come here right away!" shouted Peter exasperated and called her all the time, irritating even Salvatore.  
The following morning, the mustached fat asked the fateful question to his sexy wife Donna, but she answered him  
"You suspect that I do something secret uh? What are you thinking stupid, I always go out often at this time!"  
"But not like that, it seems like you have a lover!" he said to her after he had sipped a cup of coffee, shocking her  
"What?!" she shouted irritably from the thing ready to beat him  
"Cleveland Brown, you're the second most stupid man I know, and now I'm sorry I have to shop, we'll talk about it when I return" but Cleveland asked her softly  
"Can I come with you?"  
"No, you take care of our children, and then there is a loss of water in the bathroom, otherwise we'll do like that to the waste"  
*flashback*  
"What are you looking at, fancies?!" shouted a neglected man immersed in the trash and tar covering himself  
*end flashback*  
"Alright... " and he went upstairs to fix the matter  
While Donna went to Quagmire instead of shopping, Cleveland came downstairs immediately and went to his only genetic son and told him quickly  
"Junior, take care of the house, and tell others to think about the bathroom"  
"Of course, daddy"  
The man came out of the house sneaking and went to ask around, and what he received was a clue that he was at Quagmire's house by a known Italian, and a kick of the balls from the same girl in the amusement park  
"Thanks Salvatore..."  
"You're welcome Cleve" but the black mustached man was upset to hear that name and took him by the jacket threateningly, frightening him  
"Don't, call me, Cleve!" and immediately he threw him away with an incredible strength to the south and eventually headed for Quagmire's house wiping his hands  
"Why should she go to Quagmire, c'mon!" but as soon as he arrived, he saw in the window the answer to his sentence, there was Donna who seemed to flirt with Quagmire  
To see the scene, the mustachioed reacted bad by breaking the window and entering as a rebel soldier  
"Cleveland?!"  
The two in the house were startled by the entrance of Cleveland, who suddenly jumped on the guy with the big chin and shouted  
"Grrr, you, dirty son of a b***h!"  
He was threatening him by holding him by his jacket and showing him his angry teeth  
"How dare you steal my wife again!"  
"Wait Cleveland, I can explain everything" said his wife so sorry, but her husband didn't listen her, meanwhile Quagmire managed to get free and said  
"Hey calm, I'm not stealing her, we're just friends"  
"Of course, friends, like that slut at the bank!" Cleveland said grinningly, with a sarcastic tone  
*flashback*  
Quagmire here entered a bank to deposit money and stopped in front of the cashier, very provocative and sexy  
"Hi babe, I would like to deposit this on my account" and handed him a bundle containing ten thousand dollars  
"Of course, do you have to deposit anything else?" she asked cordially but he had a specific intention  
"I have another thing here but if you want I can give it to you"  
"Of course"  
She opened the security door to let him in and they started to do it but there it passed the yellow-shirt friend who looked at the horrified scene  
*end flashback*  
"This has nothing to do with that, I..." he didn't finish the sentence because he received a punch settled by Cleveland that made him lose the senses  
The woman suffered and stood in front of him and scolded him  
"Cleveland!" he turned and she went on rescuing the nearby big chin man  
"Look, there was nothing, we were just friends like you and Peter, you don't have to be a jealous idiot!"  
"But..." she silenced him, still screaming  
"I'm sorry if I hid it, but I didn't want this to happen"  
"Yeah, maybe I was really bad, but it's also your fault" he said as sorry as Donna  
"I know, now let's forgive everything and save him!" and they took Quagmire and tried to save him but a girl in his house passed by and spat on his face  
"This is for having exploited me, filthy as****e!"  
Instead, at Griffin's home, Lois was still in a state of depression, and she was sighing for hours  
His son Chris soon after was worried seeing her and told her  
"Mom, are you feeling well?" but she didn't answer him  
Chris, knowing coincidentally the whole story, tried to comfort her by telling her  
"Mom, I know what you're feeling now, even if you don't know what you are, I know it, you're my mother, that's what it matters"  
She, to hear him, she returns happy and got out of bed and hugged him asking a thing  
"Thanks Chris, coming from you counts so much, but I want to know how will be the future for this family"  
"We'll only know by going to the adventure, let's go mom" he took Lois by her hand and walked happily out of the house, but they met Cleveland  
"Hi Cleve" greeted the blonde and Cleveland, angry again, this time threw him away like a hammer.

 **END**


	14. Glory on the W

That evening, so many people at that time did so many things forbidden to the craziest city in America, and a blonde girl, very popular in her former school, she was preparing to go out with a very nice guy  
She waited patiently for his arrival, until the boy's friend came to his place and told her a bad thing...  
"I'm sorry, Connie, my friend can't go out with you, he has leukemia"  
"What?!" angry, she slapped him and slammed the door furiously on his face  
"What happens to these guys, at school everyone fell on me, but when it was closed for that event there, almost no one wants to be with me!"  
She was about to go to her room with the intention of crying but she saw a news in the newspaper on the table that was a very famous football player and she got a brilliant idea  
"Oh yes, that would be perfect as boyfriend, it's so sexy. If only I knew his phone number..." but suddenly she remembered something that made her shiver and exclaim  
"Oh no!" immediately after someone big and red broke the door of the house that he said irritated  
"You miss three oh no, darling!"  
That evening at the Griffin house everything was "normal" and everyone was going to sleep; the parents Peter and Lois were in their room to "play" their stuff, Brian the dog was resting on the ground with a bottle of Martini in hand, the little Stewie rested instead with a device similar to a weapon of mass destruction, the other son Chris was in a sleepwalking state and he was painting in his room his ideal girlfriend who strangely was the same as him, only that she had curvy boobs, and the first-born Meg, with her Italian husband Salvatore, were at sleep in the bed in her room  
Suddenly, Salvatore had a strange dream; he was with Meg in a desert-like area and with them there was a purple girl who knew very well, and also badly...  
"Mwuahahahah, now you'll have no escape!"  
"Mistress Gem?!" shouted the two lovebirds to see her still alive  
The two remained petrified, while the other looked furious and full of revenge, even if her was a bit distorted  
"Your time is up, losers!" and after saying it, she rushed to the attack trying to punch the Italian but Meg got in front of him and received the attack in his place in the abdomen  
"Sweetey, NO!"  
In despair, he saw her collapse to the dying floor while the witch was amused  
"Mwuahahahah, I knew that my good part was stupid, but I didn't know that it was more stupid with you, loser!"  
While Salvatore was crying, Gem prepared to use one of her hair against him, but as he screamed in despair magically appeared seven colored gems that shone and illuminated both him and his beloved of a golden light and they even transformed  
Shocked, the violet woman saw that the two had blonde hair and were flying in the sky shining with a golden aura  
"What the hell is going on?!" she shouted amazed and confused the evil Gem putting her hands in her hair  
"Wow, so cool!" Salvatore exclaimed surprised looking, but he saw Meg alive and he, touched, hugged her immediately  
"Sweetey!"  
"It's not logically possible, it's impossible!"  
Gem was very terrified, and she was pulling back, and Salvatore heroically told her pointing her  
"Mistress Gem, now you will taste what we should have done to you when you were at our wedding, Fire Burst!" he magically created glowing spheres of fire and threw them on her making her scream in pain from the burns reported  
"Your turn sweetey!"  
Meg immediately stood in front of her counterpart, who was ran away, and told her  
"Take this witch, Light Burst!"  
From the palms of the hands, sparkling spheres emerged and she placed them in the direction of Mistress Gem and then started two blinding beams that hit her completely  
"No, NOOOOOO!" and immediately afterwards, she disappeared definitively, but before the two gave each other a kiss of victory, the dream distorted itself as a result of a known female voice that said  
"Wake up!"  
Confused, they saw that a giant wave was coming and overwhelmed them and they soon realized that in real life it was morning and someone had hit them with a bucket of water  
"Hey mom, what are you doing?" Meg, all wet, shouted irritably, looking at her mother Lois with a bucket  
"Yeah!" exclaimed her husband wet too, shaking like a dog  
"It's time to wake up, and then the idea was from Peter, not mine..." and quickly she ran away with the bucket in her hand.  
Meanwhile, outside the house, the family boss of the Griffins was going to the Drunken' Clam singing a little song as a pasttime  
"How good is to walk, to go to the strange friends, how is good to go, and then you go to get drun..." but suddenly slammed against a strange guy big like him making them bounce  
"Hey, be more careful... oh"  
Peter saw him, he was strangely like him almost entirely, but only that he had a luxurious blue suit and a dark purple hat, and spoke with a very seductive accent  
"Oh sorry, I was thinking of something else, but look, hi, we're almost identical"  
"Yeah, crap, the thing is weird, like a hippie in a terrorist gang"  
*start scene*  
It started in a van, and one with a colored dress was smoking some weed near very burly men  
"Come on, let's break the barriers of hatred with peace"  
One of the men, however, didn't join to the smoke, and he became a kamikaze, but not to make an attack, but to commit suicide because of the smoke  
*end scene*  
The double, later, ask him a question, friendly  
"Listen, would you like to have a beer with me?"  
"Of course, I'd like a lot"  
The two, laughing, went to the Quahog's famous local while everyone else was shocking to see two Peters  
"Wait a minute, who is Peter?" asked the friend from the big chin to the other who was in a wheelchair  
"How do you not recognize him, it's..." but he saw that the other man had also put the same clothes of his friend, for a strange game  
"Oh crap!" he exclaimed confused putting his hands in his hair  
Meanwhile, near the Griffin house, the blonde girl, Connie D'Amico, knocked the door of her former schoolmate's house as promised, and a woman with red hair opened the door  
"Hi Mrs. Griffin, Meg is here?" she asked, but with thought she thought something else  
Look what I have to do!  
"Wait, Meg, someone of known wants you!" Lois said, calling her  
"Please don't be Neil, please, don't be, Neil...!" Meg said quietly as she struggled down the stairs because of her stomach, being helped by Salvatore  
When the two could see who it was, the girl preferred not to say the sentence of before  
"I wanted Neil"  
"Hi Connie, what bad mind brings you to me?" she asked while her mother starts to go and do her business  
"Can you come out for a moment? I want to talk you about something" the girl was about to take her husband but Connie stopped her and said seriously  
"But without him"  
Concerned, he let go her and Connie leave the house and he said  
"I hope he doesn't make jokes on her..."  
"And instead she'll make them" a little frightened, he saw that to say that phrase was the little brother of her, Stewie, while he was betting with his dog friend something  
"You say he'll succeed?" asked Brian, amazed  
"Of course, I'm never wrong premonitions, I'm better than the wizard Merlin"  
*start scene*  
"I predict, I predict, that now you'll give me your credit card Lisa with interest and you'll be touched by me itself" to say it was just him next to a fake crystal ball but he received a slap from an indignant woman dressed as Geneva.  
*end scene*  
In Quahog, the householder and his haughty double, after a drink of knowledge, were walking towards Peter's house, because he had invited him to his house  
"Peter, if that's your name, where do you work?"  
"I am currently unemployed, but I was working in a brewery so cool that you will have no idea" he replied, farting  
The gentleman, feeling the nasty smell, closed his nose and said  
"Ugh, what is this smell, it seems like when you leave a seasoned cheese to season in season"  
*start scene*  
On a beach, a slice of cheese was lying on the sand, and it was releasing a smell so sickening that all the people escaped in every possible ways, but one of them ate it mercilessly and laughed, he was Peter Griffin.  
*end scene*  
The man in the white shirt, after hearing him, he burst out laughing, while the other asked him something  
"So, how long does it take for your house?"  
Peter answered by stopping instantly  
"Not so much, but as my father said, time never doesn't f**k you, except when you're alone, I never understood what it refers to" but speaking, he had lost sight of the other and ran to look for him, but someone in a cloak with a clock printed on it was chasing him.  
Meanwhile, nearby, Connie, after looking at the girl named Meg, told her amusedly  
"Wow, I didn't know you were a giant whale, you know?" and she laughed in a low voice irritating the other  
"Funny, but what do you want at someone like me, tease me again after all this time?" the girl asked irritably at the other, but immediately, Connie became serious  
"You know what I want, and if there was another solution I would have certainly used it, but there's not... Give me his phone number, now!" she held out her hand as to give her something while Meg was confused and asked  
"What number, that of my husband?!"  
"No you idiot, Richard Wellington's"  
"Who?" now she was even more confusing  
"Look, I have no time to waste, give me his number right now, or it'll be worse for you!"  
"But if I don't even know this Richard!"  
"Don't you remember when you found his number and you called him in front of the whole school some time ago?"  
*flashback*  
Before school closed, Meg was there to talk to one of her classmates but after he tripped her and she fell with the face under the amused gaze of everyone  
"Ouch, what the?"  
Before she got up, she saw a sheet of paper written with a mysterious phone number on it, so she hid it under her shirt and got up again  
After leaving school, she curiously picked up her cell phone and called it, and answered an acid guy who dump her immediately, but it was the speakerphone on and all the students nearby heard his words and laughed  
*end flashback*  
"Oh, now I remember, but why do you want his number so much?" as she said it, she turned to the opposite side  
The blonde answered her  
"Well it's obvious, I want to see if I can get to know him better, in contrast to a some person who got impregnated by a loser and even immigrant" but Meg, very irritated by the insult, she turned around and grabbed her by the purple top  
"You try to call my love like that again and that number you forget it!"  
"Hey Meg, take it easy, or you finish giving birth early!" and she started laughing again, making the other more angry, but while she was about to hit her with a sucker punch, they came by surprise Peter and the guy like him  
"Hi attractive girls" said the other before he came into the Griffin house laughing  
The two entered and the wife of the original asked the intruder  
"Hi Peter, who is this guy, is he your brother?"  
"Hi, lady, you're beautiful when you're confused" said the strange guy making her blush  
"I know, he's a gentleman, and who knows if he's my brother, you're my brother, please, tell me yes" Peter made his eyes sweetly and the man same as him told him embarrassed  
"No, and there's two!"  
Back to normal, and after sighing, the blue-dressed guy introduced himself  
"All right, I introduce myself, I'm Maximillian Rich Ductor, nice to meet you" and he shook hands with Peter and Lois  
"Too bad"  
"Who is this guy, because he's similar to Peter?" asked immediately the little Stewie, irritated by his presence  
"I have no idea, but it is very cur..." but Brian, however, stopped, looking at Maximillian who took a bucket of water from the kitchen and placed it on the door  
"What he's doin'?"  
Hehe, this will be fun said Peter's look-alike in his mind, in the meantime outside the house the two women had agreed, or almost...  
"So, big dork, you give me this number yes or no?"  
Meg answered her, crossing her arms  
"I repeat, if you apologize for everything you did to me at school, I'll give it to you!"  
But Connie didn't agree, and answered  
"Forget it, I don't crawl on your head, because then I would be dead for your weight... hahaha" and she went away amused without greeting, leaving Meg strangely smiling  
"Good, laugh Connie, there's only me with that number, so you'll come back crawling to me" but after opening the door of the house, she ended up in the oldest joke in the world, the bucket of water on her head  
"Oops..." exclaimed the strange double of Peter thinking that the blonde woman was coming in.  
Hours later, the two almost identical new friends were having fun in the couch saying things, when then the Peter-like put out a bizarre subject in the middle  
"Peter, by chance do you know Nintendo?"  
"The Ninwhat?" Peter answered, confused, making the other annoyed a bit  
"Never mind, at least you know the character of Nintendo called Wario? It's the counterpart of Mario" but the boss of the family was even more confused  
"What are we talking about friend, to the Warland fair?"  
Maximillian put his hand over his eyes in shame and said dryly  
"Peter Griffin, you're definitely more stupid than a sloth with amnesia"  
*start scene*  
There was a sloth that greeted in slow motion and that didn't even remember where he was, and soon after he went somewhere, but slowly every five seconds went to hit a pole  
"What an idiot he is, but at least it's fun!" said one of his kind who ate popcorn looking at him.  
*end scene*  
"Crap, sorry, but I don't understand you, you look like my son Chris when he has a belly crisis"  
*flashback*  
Outside the house, Chris was writhing for the pain in his belly and people saw him and imitated him thinking it was a dance  
"That hurt!" he exclaimed as he ran for a bath but Peter jumped into the fray and said dancing  
"Hehe, let's dance!"  
*end flashback*  
"Listen, Wario is a Nintendo character, yellow suit, big and rough nose, very greedy and obese, he's ruining Nintendo, and we have to do something!" said the guy with the blue suit that had got up from the sofa  
"Wario, Wario, does I seem to know who he is, not the yellow and almost bald guy I met long ago?" Peter asked, making him see a picture of him from nothing  
"No it's not, but now, would you like to help me?"  
"Of course, how?" asked the boss of the family, got up himself from the couch  
"Let's go to the Nintendo's president and convince him to eliminate Wario forever, let's go!"  
Soon after, Maximillian left, leaving the poor Peter alone  
"Wait, look-alike friend, crap, he's so fast, just like Bugs Bunny"  
*flashback*  
Peter was running a race with a turtle shell on his shoulders against the famous rabbit Bugs, and was losing miserably, and the rabbit came to him and said  
"What's up, buddy, your breath's short?" but suddenly Peter took off his shell and inside it he found a rifle and shot him straight in the face  
"And now what's up buddy, oh, you're dead!" but Peter was shot on the knee by a family hunter, and while Peter suffers from pain as only he knows how to do, the hunter laughed sadistically, but in turn he was hit by Daffy Duck, who ran away quacking.  
*end flashback*  
After traveling to an airplane for an entire hour without letting the family know, and after a very funny inconvenience of some songs, they arrived in the homeland of Nintendo, Japan  
"Ah, Japan, a nice place to go and live don't you agree Peter, Peter?" Maximillian asked, not finding him, and he found him looking at comics in a nearby comic store  
"Wow, what a beauty, there's Japanese Superman, and also Japanese Batman, and who is that?" he took a very strange comic book, the protagonist was very similar to his daughter Meg, but he had a more athletic body and he didn't have glasses  
"It seems that you'le intelested to Beastwoman?" the cartoonist asked cordially after watching Peter be interested in the comic  
"No, it's just that this one, we have a similar one in America, the difference is that she's less interestin', even if..." Peter immediately imagines Meg, just like that of the comic that killed the giant chicken before, and then beat James Woods making him drool  
"Wow!"  
Maximillian, however, make him back in real life shaking him and telling him  
"Look, we're not here to watch comics, we're here to save Nintendo!" he took Peter's hand and dropped the comic book, and dragged him away, causing the cartoonist to be sad  
"Too bad, at least I wanted him to see ChubbyMan..."  
Arrived right from the Nintendo's boss, evading security, our two "Peter" asked him to remove Wario, but he refused  
"Absolutely not, fol me all that I have cleated is fine"  
"Please, so much that is unpleasant than ruin your good work to hypnotizin' millions of kids!" Maximillian begged him, but he answered furiously  
"No, it's always been loved by people and you fat lumps can't dictate oldels to me, now out!"  
The double went sad while the original, playing with a figurine of the famous plumbing symbol of Nintendo, accidentally dropped it and breaking it, and the furious boss screamed so loud that it scared Peter  
"Mamma mia, quick, seculity!"  
Many guards arrived, but the two Americans had already run away, and they reported it to the president  
"Stupid idiots, how can I trust you, you're flied!"  
One of them misunderstood and told him  
"Yes they're fled away boss"  
"Flied, I mean doomed" and took a gun from the desk that scared everyone  
Meanwhile, in Quahog, which had become evening, the grumpy Connie D'Amico was to the house of her friend and sidekick Gina thinking about how to get that number, but she didn't have much resources anymore  
"Gina, I tried to look for it on Internet, I also tried to ask the other players, but nothing, my only chance is to ask it on knees in front of her!"  
She was resigned, but her brown-haired friend got an idea  
"Maybe you could steal her cell phone!"  
To hear her, Connie smiled back and asked  
"Of course, Gina, will you give me a hand?"  
"Sure friend, as I always did!" but it was not so...  
*flashback*  
Connie was haunted by a sleepwalker Chris and she ended up in a blind alley and he wanted to kiss her thinking she was his girlfriend  
"Gina, help me!" she shouted, thinking that she would help her, but Gina had already run away, leaving her to her cruel fate  
*end flashback*  
The friend Gina go away sneaking out without making her mother wake up and Connie followed her, but she only moved a lock of hair that then she screamed and they escaped, and after a while, they arrived in front of Meg's house and opened the living room window  
"Strange, it's not sealed, why?" she asked whispering, confused and suspicious  
"In my opinion that skank has become so stupid in these times, that's why" Gina said quietly as they slowly entered the house and climbed the stairs, seeing in the meantime the domestic dog Brian sleeping on the ground  
After entering the room of Meg stealthily, they saw startled that she was not in her bed and the blonde whispered to the alarmed friend  
"Strange, it's not there, maybe..." but she and her friend turned around and found the two lovebirds face to face, willing to know the answers  
"I knew you were coming Connie DiMico" Meg said with her phone in her hand, Connie's desire, who laughed sarcastically and said  
"Meg, I knew it was a trap, don't try to hold it against me, now give me that number or..."  
"Or what?!" to say it was Meg's husband approaching her  
"Or I'll have to do something that I'd really like to do" and she took out of the pocket of her shorts the scissors  
"Try to put your hands on her and I swear that..." but he was blocked by his "sweetey" that pushed him behind  
"Please, Salvatore, I'll take care of it"  
Meg then went to Connie, ready to challenge her even though she was pregnant  
"If you apologize, I'll give you Richard's number, otherwise nothing"  
"Never mind, I'd rather be molested by a guy with a bushy beard than apologize, pregnant fug!" Connie answered sourly with all the evil she had, but...  
"Connie?" she exclaimed, shaking her friend, pointing to the Italian Salvatore, who was holding back his anger, but he couldn't make it  
"Listen, bitch, I know I shouldn't interfere, but now say sorry, immediately!"  
"No"  
"Say, now, sorry!"  
"No!" the blonde girl answered again, causing Meg to worry  
"Salvatore love, you don't need..." but she was interrupted by the action of her husband, who suddenly took Connie for the shirt and began to talk to her threatening her with a punch  
"I would never beat the females, but if is for my sweetey, I would do this and more, so if you want to have what you want, ask for forgiveness for everything you did or I swear I'll let you taste her own medicine!"  
The girl, a little intimidated, answered  
"Okay, you don't need to use violence..." and to hearing those words, Salvatore let her go  
Connie didn't feel like being in his rules, but she didn't want to lose her dignity or her beauty either  
"Well, Meg..." after reflection, and out of desperation to have that number, she did the unthinkable  
"I-I apologize for everything, forgive me!"  
Gina couldn't believe it, there was something wrong on her words, but for Salvatore and Meg maybe those words were sincere...  
"You know... when I lost my father, it was so traumatizing, a-and I still wanted to be the strongest. T-Then when I saw you, so strong, different and determined, I had envy of you and I couldn't stand you, so, can you ever forgive me?"  
At the end of all, Meg made peace with her rival and write the number, Connie and her friend then left the house, but before doing so Salvatore gave her a friendly advice shaking her hand  
"Who knows Connie, one day you'll have a boy who accepts you for what you are, good luck"  
The next day, Peter and his family saw shocked on television that Nintendo's president had been arrested for murder and in his place was elected Maximillian Ductor, who modified Wario, and this time he had become similar to him and Peter  
"Well, it was nice to meet him guys" Peter said happily  
"For me, no" Stewie said in the meantime, giving Brian some bucks  
Salvatore and Meg meanwhile, they laughed softly thinking about something that had to do with Connie...  
"What ?! Those fucking nerds screwed me!" she shouted after learning that Richard's number had been turn off for years and crumbling the phone  
"I swear that those two will pay!" she was very angry, but she was suddenly splashed with a pipe by the blonde boy who was not in the family and said looking at the camera  
"See you next time people, damn it, she's fainted, emergency breathing would be needed" and he prepared to kiss her out of sight.

 **END**


	15. It wasn't birthing without blowing

**Finally, the final episode of the series... for now.**

 **It all started with a voice...**

 **"Inside the house, the Griffin family was watching their usual television, but on that particular day, something was about to happen, something that changed the life not just of one person, but of all the people near them, you're ready for the big finale? Then let's start!"**

After the opening theme, it returns to the Griffins, with the boss of the family Peter, who after seeing a program called ER, medical scientists, turned off the TV and said annoyed  
"What a bore, you could see that guy wasn't a scientist, he was just an idiot who said stupid true things" but Peter remembered something he had to do just a little before...  
"Oh crap, today I promised to go see my ex football team match with Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland and I'm not drunk yet, better think to refreshin' myself"  
The fat man go fast to the kitchen and took six cans of beer and drank all at once by opening them and lifting them into the sky, but the wife, curious by this, asked  
"Peter, what are you doing?"  
After drinking the six beers, he was now drunk and a bit wobbly  
"N-Nothing, don't worren you..."  
Lois answered him in her severe tone  
"First it says worry, and then if you're drunk you can't drive, or you'll do like that time at work, remember?"  
*flashback*  
Peter here was drunk at the Pawtucket brewery, where he danced in his desk, but his boss was furious and shouted at him  
"Griffin, what the hell are you doing here?" but he ran hurriedly out of there, took the car and with that he destroyed the wall and strike his boss mercilessly  
Finally, somehow, he made the car dance to the beat and made a duet.  
*end flashback*  
The family man didn't listen her and went out of the kitchen door in secret, and after some time Lois wondered why to his silence so long  
"Peter, are you fainted?"  
"Peter?"  
She tried to call him twice, and at the end, annoyed, the woman went to check and saw the door open in the kitchen  
Very furious, she exclaimed turning backwards  
"That son of a surrogate mother!"  
She tried to stop him going out, but he had already left with the car at full speed  
"Oh Peter..." and she returned to the living room of the family, disappointed and worried  
"What's going on, where's dad?" asked Chris, his blonde son  
"To make one of his, that's where is..." and Lois sat on the couch, putting her hands on her face ready to cry, but Brian the dog reassured her by telling her  
"Don't despair Lois, it's better to have him like this than when he had mental tics"  
*flashback*  
Everyone was eating in the kitchen when suddenly Peter moved strangely, almost as if he had a sob, and said in the meantime  
"I-I must go-g-go-away!"  
The man because of the tic bounced like a ball and ended up on the table where they were eating, breaking every dish and getting everyone dirty  
"Peter!" shouted the wife of the guilty, but he was already bounced off a horse outside the house  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile, the great Peter had driven drunk all the time and had already taken his friends, right on them, and then taken them to the city stadium for the match  
The perverted friend with the flowered shirt asked  
"Ouch Peter, why are you drunk at this time?!"  
"N-Nothing, and now let's go guys!"  
His trusty drinking friends followed Peter to the stadium despite his bumpkin behavior and they arrived at the ticket office  
"Hi, I would like to order a pizza, with pepperoni and refined cheese" Quagmire, the big chinned man, whispered him something  
"Peter, we have to get tickets, not to eat"  
"Right, then, four tickets and a colossal beer, thanks!"  
The salesman really brought him both the tickets for the game and a giant beer can, and after Peter paid everything he rolled the can into the stadium and even crushed some spectators  
"Look where you go, you drunk fatso!" shouted one furious of this.  
When they got to the seats, Peter and his other friends sat down and saw that the match was about to begin  
"So, with which team you play against your ex-team" Joe the disabled man asked  
"I think... the Hsggks" he replied before sobbing suddenly  
"The what?"  
The third friend was about to say something but there was the whistle of the kick-off, a sign that the match had started but with fairly retarded players who danced rather than playing  
While Peter and the others were at the stadium, in the Griffin house, everyone except Lois was upstairs in Chris's bedroom playing a game proposed by the house dog; truth or dare, even if Stewie had something else more important to do...  
"Why you dragged me into this bullshit, I wanted to plan a bomb to destroy Kansas!" he exclaimed rising from the ground  
"Sorry, what do you have against Kansas?" he asked seriously to his little friend  
"Nothing, at least for now..."  
"So Brian, shall we begin?" it was Chris who was anxious to start, slapping his hands  
"Sure, c'mon Stewie, join us" and that was how the miniature genius sat up irritably and gesticulating things that were not allowed  
"Okay, ready guys? Then, let's start!"  
Brian spin a bottle that ended up pointing right to the little Stewie  
"What?"  
"Truth or dare Stewie?" asked the dog with a smile  
"Truth, nono, dare, yes, dare" chose the most obvious choice, at least he did something  
"Ok, I dare Stewie to kiss his teddy bear in front of everyone"  
Everyone come to laughing but the baby wasn't at all disturbed by this  
"There's nothing easier than this, man, I've had more difficult challenges than this" he said as he walked to his teddy bear he called Rupert and the flashback appeared  
*flashback*  
The little Stewie disguised himself as a spy and was secretly entering the Griffin house, he saw the fat man in the kitchen smoking cigars and his mother washing the dishes and then breaking them immediately afterwards, then he got secretly upstairs until he reached Brian who was in his room, he held a knife and ran to him only to cut an apple into two parts  
"Amazing" exclaimed after Brian very amazed  
*end flashback*  
After the flashback, Stewie kissed him, but Brian took Salvatore's black cellphone and took a picture of him  
"This is for Instagram, hehe"  
Stewie returned to his seat very satisfied to himself but also a little angry  
"Good, because you've won, it's your turn to spin" and the baby spin the bottle than pointed right at the pregnant girl named Meg  
"Oh no!" she exclaimed  
"Truth or dare Megan?" he asked amused at what he could do to her, but strangely she understood her little brother and answered  
"Truth"  
"But are you sure..." said confused her husband worried by the challenge but Stewie asked pointing to her and Salvatore  
"Well, how many times do you two do that thing every day?"  
Immediately after that question, the home dog exclaimed in disgust, while the others were shocked as if they had heard  
"What the hell Stewie, what questions are these?!"  
Salvatore also didn't agree...  
"Yeah, you're too small for these things, shame on you!" but unexpectedly, Meg answered the question, leaving everyone speechless  
"One or two a day, depends" but to hear those words, and even to imagine the thing, Stewie ran to the bathroom to throw up  
"So he learn to get involved like Pluto!"  
*start scene*  
A yellow dog was playing with his owner mouse in a strange castle, but suddenly he heard a peculiar smell and sniffed it, but the mouse slapped him and said  
"What are you doing, Pluto, don't do it!" but the dog took from the pocket of his shorts something green and sharp while another dog came by surprise, which this time was black and was walking on two legs  
"Hi Mick... but what?"  
The mouse wanted to explain to the friend who took the green substance and sniffed it, but its effect was not what he hoped, he began to distort the whole place by killing all his friends in ridiculous deaths.  
*end scene*  
At the soccer game, Peter started shouting at a player he was doing mistakes, but Cleveland, his black friend, told him  
"Hey, he's doing his best, don't scold him!"  
The fat man didn't listen to him and shouted as loud as he could  
"Force flabby legs, give me a strike!"  
"Hum, this is not bowling, you know?"  
Peter answered confused by the sentence  
"What I said, I said strike!"  
"It says goal, Peter"  
"Ah, whatever, at least now I learned something in these last days of life" and disappeared in transition shocking everyone  
Meanwhile at home, Brian motioned to Meg, who had responded well to the truth, to turn the bottle, and after turning it, it aimed right at her blonde brother  
"Well, well, Chris, truth or dare?"  
"Hum, dare, and please don't make me do humiliating things"  
"I dare Chris to..." but she strangely stopped, unable to finish the sentence  
The blonde brother looked at her touching the belly she had and immediately he got up and asked worriedly  
"Dare to what, do you feel good sister?"  
She screamed in pain and lay down in pain, a sign that something was happening to him, something serious...  
"Aaahh, I think, I..." she tried to speak, but the pain was too unbearable  
"Oh my god, Lois, Lois!"  
Her husband Salvatore wasted no time, he called Lois faster than anyone else, and when the mother of his beloved came to the room to see why they had called her, she saw her daughter lying on the ground and writhing in pain.  
"Oh my god Meg, are you okay?" she asked, disconcerted, in a high tone  
"Maybe she has contractions, and oh my god, the water have broke too!" replied the dog Brian shocked and a little disgusted  
"What?!"  
"Let's take her to the hospital, right now!" Salvatore shouted under an instant panic attack but the girl's mother said  
"Peter took the car though..."  
"So let's take her on foot!"  
By now he was beginning to go back and forth while his "sweetey" was in that pitiful state  
"It would take too much time, we would not do it in time"  
"Oh shit, what we do, what we... " suddenly Meg took him by the jacket making approach her and shouted him furiously and in pain  
"C-Call an ambulance, now!"  
"Okay sweetey, hold on!" and Salvatore picked up his cell phone and dialed the hospital phone number, but unfortunately the answering machine answered  
"Here is Dr. John Hartman, right now I'm on vacation, call back later or leave a message for the gossip, beep"  
"Oh no, and now?!"  
The situation was deteriorating there, but Peter and the others knew nothing about it  
In the stadium the half time was started, and Peter ran to the bathroom because he had drunk too much colossal beer  
Suddenly, his cell phone rang...  
"Who will ever bother me, I hope not the mafia" he first took a deep breath and then answered the phone  
"Hello, Peter Griffin, right now I have no money with me and I'm bus..." but he was interrupted by the voice of the Italian boy who said screaming  
"There is no time for jokes, your daughter is about to give birth, come right here and take us to the hospital!"  
"What?" he was stunned, and after having washed his hands strangely, he answered heroically  
"You hold on, I come after the match will end!"  
"No no, you come now!"  
Disappointed and embittered, the great Peter said  
"Okay, crap!" and he close the call  
"Black crap, always in the most beautiful things he must interrupt me"  
He ran quickly from his friends but strangely Cleveland was not among them  
"Guys, we have to leave, Meg is unfortunately about to toss out of her something and I have to take her to the hospital!" he shouted hurriedly  
"What, is your daughter going to give birth?" Quagmire, however, was interrupted by Peter who told him quickly  
"There's no time for questions, let's hurry up!"  
Suddenly he pulled Joe and Quagmire for going out of the stadium but there was a jamming of the match and Peter had to fart so hard that made lost consciousness to everyone, including his friends, to go out.  
After dragging them into the car, he pushed the accelerator and left, but Cleveland had returned there and saw that he was left alone...  
"Guys I brought you... what, what happened?!"  
"They left you, blacka!" shouted an all muscle guy resisted to the gas  
"I wonder why, they never left me alone, except that time in Virginia"  
*flashback*  
The four crazy friends a few days ago had go to visit the former city of Cleveland that was strangely intact, so the fat Peter could have fun with the locals making jokes; first he took a can of beans from a market and ate it all, including the can, and then he farted at sight, first on a bear, then on a lower-than-normal type, and then on a not so thin blonde woman  
All of a sudden one of them passed by and holding his nose told to Peter  
"Oh dear, you look like Omar of the Tickle Drain show"  
Cleveland in the meantime had separated and visited the house where he lived at the time of the Cleveland Show, but when he returned to the place where the car was, his friends had already left and had written a note in the nearby pole that said:  
"Dear Cleveland, I messed up and escaped, sorry if we leave you here, sincerely, Peter and the other two" after reading it, the man in the yellow shirt saw a horde of Omar that overwhelmed him like a herd of angry bulls.  
*end flashback*  
Meanwhile, at the Griffin house, Brian and Lois were trying to help Meg to relax with Salvatore than was still going back and forth for worry  
"Peter, hurry up..." he said anxiously  
Stewie in that moment had recovered from the illness and, knowing the situation, he said indignantly  
"Very well, if that fat man doesn't arrive, we must see this revolting event. I hope than are two in there, one for them, one for me" and he made an evil grin as if he was thinking of something wrong  
"W-When d-dad come...?" Meg asked, sweating cold from the pain to Salvatore  
"I have no idea sweetey, try to resist, for me and for the baby" and she took his hand but she held too tightly that it even felts bones crackle  
"B-Be careful, okay?"  
Brian, who was looking at the window, turned to the family and said now giving up  
"Well, maybe it will be better to give birth here at this point"  
"You're right Brian, Peter has never come always on time, after all"  
*flashback*  
Salvatore was about to watch the last episode of a series as famous as theirs and called all to see the final scene, but they all came except Peter  
Shortly afterwards there were the credits, and only then came the man who exclaimed  
"Here I am, family"  
"Too bad, you missed the most beautiful part of all!" said the Italian to the man but he didn't react well to the thing  
"Black crap!"  
Furious, he gave an angry fist on the TV and left, leaving everyone intimidated, but something was happening on TV, the characters in the series were coming out of there  
*end flashback*  
From Peter...  
"Hold on Meg, daddy arrives, if only this damn bird will get out of the way!"  
He waited impatiently than the famous giant chicken, in the middle of the street, let many birds pass by doing tongue out to the man in the red car  
Peter eventually got fed up and he pushed the accelerator hitting directly the chicken that exclaimed insults before losing the senses  
After a while, the fat father suddenly opened the door just long enough before his daughter was resting completely on the home sofa.  
"Here I am guys, Peter is here!"  
His wife hugged him joyfully and shouted agitated  
"Peter finally, I thought you wouldn't come!"  
"Where is she?" he asked hastily  
"It's here Peter"  
Brian pointed at her immediately, and after almost hold the vomit, maybe for the rest of the colossal beer that he had been drank on the way, Peter picked her up carefully and said  
"Come on, let's not waste time, so I'll see the second hal... I meant let's move on!"  
All the Griffins and Salvatore enter fast into the car and saw that inside were Joe and Quagmire, still fainted because of the stench  
"And what are they doing here, dad, are they partying?" the blonde son asked, touching one jokingly  
"It's a long story, hang on!"  
The man pushed the accelerator, and after leaving, he made a curve that made the head bang at the two friends who woke up on the blow  
"Um, where are we... Lois, Meg?" asked confused the guy with the big chin while he looked where he was, he was right behind the left seat and there was Meg's head on his legs and there was her husband on the right  
"What the hell, Peter?" shouted Joe stunned  
"You woke up!" said Lois close to Peter, turning  
"Hi Mr. Quagmire, grrrh..." but Meg was still sore from the contractions but the disabled and the pervert wanted explanations  
"Why are we here and why did you leave Cleveland there?" one of them asked, shocking the white dog  
"What?"  
"It's a long story, now fasten your seatbelts, now we get serious!" Peter said as he go in a road that was a shortcut to the hospital for him and took them to a dangerous ramp  
"Peter, so we'll get very hurt, go back!" but he didn't listen to the complaints of the others and he accelerated and the car overcame the obstacle but they're falling in slow motion and almost everyone screamed, except Peter, because he said as he looked out the window car  
"Roadhouse"  
Cleveland, meanwhile, was still in the stadium watching the match alone and drinking a soda instead of beer  
"Go, still a Goal and we won, who knows why I didn't discover this sport before?" and then he remembered something that triggered a flashback  
*flashback*  
Cleveland was watching all the sports on TV and was commenting on them, first at golf...  
"Annoying" then to alpine skiing...  
"Dangerous..." but to soccer he said  
"Unbearably boring"  
*end flashback*  
Suddenly Peter's car came into the field, and frightened, all the players tried to escape and the referee was whistling many times in rage but he choked with it  
"Crap, move on!" Peter shouted as he showed everyone the middle finger  
Stewie, seeing his father, he wanted to imitate him  
"I want to do it too!" and after saying it he also showed the middle finger to the others, laughing  
After than Peter and the others leave the stadium almost unharmed, the black fat said shocked, dropping the drink in his hand  
"What Brussels sprouts happened?"  
"I'll tell you imbecile!" to talking was really an angry Brussels sprout that spat in the face of poor Brown but outside the Quahog hospital meanwhile, Dr. Hartman was leaving the place and was talking to another of his colleagues, a boy with light brown hair known by a particular surname  
"So Dr. Milano, now you'll have to take care of all the patients while I'm away, okay?"  
"It will be done colleague"  
Hartman, who was supposed to take a vacation, entered his car and left, but the young man had something else in his mind; go around somewhere too  
"I hope they don't notice it..." he threw the doctor's coat down the street and walked, leaving the hospital without doctors  
The Griffins and co. were finally at their destination, but they didn't know about the situation at the hospital  
They got out of the car holding the woman girl in pain and brought her in, asked after for help, but...  
"I'm sorry, but at this moment there is no staff so we can't help you, I'm sorry, try again later" said the girl very sorry as a hostess  
"Oh crap, and now?"  
"D-Dad, help me aaaah..." his daughter said with the contractions and now in full labor  
"Stay calm sweetey, we'll find a solution, you'll see" reassured her husband, sad  
Quagmire and Joe in the meantime had stayed in the car because they had thought of something else, stealing Peter's car and finding their friend Cleveland  
"Are you sure than he'll not mind?" Quagmire asked in the driving seat, slightly frightened  
"Absolutely not, he is busy with Meg now. Come on, so we get there in time for the act" and Quagmire drove Peter's car until he heard a bang and a thud  
"What was that?!"  
Quagmire worried got out of the car but his disabled friend disagreed  
"What are you doing, we have to find Cleveland and we don't have to waste time"  
"Oh my god, I hit someone!" shouted the big chin man shocked at the sight of a boy on the ground unconscious  
"We have to take him to the hospital but there's no time" Joe said while he too came out of the car and put the body of the unfortunate in the trunk  
"Come on, let's go to the stadium, before than Cleveland get mad like ten days ago..."  
*flashback*  
"How is possible?!"  
The mustachioed with the yellow shirt, after discovering that he couldn't pass through the airport door, he was very indignant  
"Sir, how can I say it, it's a shade that's forbidden here and I cannot let you pass" said the airport agent warmly  
"So you're a racist, aren't you?" now he was more indignant than ever  
"No, just that you have that shirt of that abnormal color" and pointed to his yellow shirt  
"Alright, so?"  
"Put something with an another color or I'll have to cite you!"  
"Okay, damn" he changed in front of everyone who then laughed at him  
"What you have to laugh?"  
At the end had put a red striped shirt and the agent irritated by that color shouted  
"Satan!" and the agent immediately hit him with the teaser mercilessly making everyone laugh  
*end flashback*  
The big chin man left, in the direction of the stadium, but what they didn't know and that was Doctor Milano  
At the hospital, meanwhile, Lois and Salvatore placed Meg in a bed in an operating room, going unnoticed and trying to make her relax to help her give birth  
"Take deep breaths, take deep breaths" her worried mother told her  
"I hope a doctor arrives quickly, or we're in trouble" but as soon as the brown hair boy ended talking, a man known to them disguised as a doctor arrived on the spot  
"So, what's the name of the future mother?" he asked indifferent of everything  
"Peter?!"  
"The future mama's name is Peter? It can't be!"  
"Mr. Griffin, what are you thinking to joke at a moment like this!" shouted Salvatore angry  
"Aaaahh! Dad..." the poor suffering Meg spoke and Peter, unlike the two, he put on the latex doctor's gloves and told them  
"I'm not joking, I'm just doing my job" and went near his daughter, just ready in position  
"So, take deep breaths and push..." but as soon as he saw there, you know where, the man cried out in disgust  
"Oh my freakin' hell god, oh fuck!"  
"Peter!" shouted Lois, making him return to reality  
"Right, right, now when you feel the contractions push, do you know how to push, right?" Meg nodded and tried to do what his father had told him but Salvatore was skeptical  
"Can we trust Peter?" asked to Lois and she says with the head no  
Meanwhile nearby Chris, Brian and Stewie were worried about the fate of the girl, or even not...  
"So guys, will it be a boy or a girl, what you think?" asked the dog to the others, who were thinking of something else before  
"Maybe male, no female, no wait..." the child said changing always choice but after ten changes the canine friend told him  
"Quit it"  
Chris, hearing his sister's screams, said shocked, putting his hands in his hair  
"Oh god, Meg is doing hard like an angry bull on the hot asphalt"  
*start scene*  
A bull here stood with a young cow on the road and the cow had dumped him for another bull and he, enraged, tried to hit her but she dodged gracefully and he was so agitated to break into so many pieces.  
*end scene*  
Joe and Quagmire arrived at the stadium meantime they were able to find Cleveland, who was happy for the game  
"Yes, we won by abandonment, oh hi guys, why did you leave me here, and where's Peter?" he asked, but they didn't react so happily  
"We don't have time for explanations, we have to give the car back to Peter before he realizes it and go right to the hospital"  
After entering the car, the three of them, after some time, heard noises from the trunk and Cleveland asked curiously  
"What's in there?"  
"Nothing, now shut up!" he lied Quagmire but the poor guy in the trunk said  
"Help..." but nobody heard him  
Meanwhile, the hospital situation was getting complicated, Meg had trouble giving birth and Salvatore was tearing his hair, really...  
"Oh crap, and now?"  
"I think you'll have to do a caesarean operation, there's no other way...!"  
In the end, it all worked out well, and Chris, Brian and Stewie rushed into the room after hearing a loud cry from there  
"It's...?"  
Slowly they looked curiously to what Peter have in his arms, he had a creature with the same resemblance and hair of the mother, but had the color of the hair and a tuft over the hair like the father  
"It's a girl!" they exclaimed, amazed, all except Stewie, who exclaimed instead  
"Damn you all!"  
The baby then gave him some bucks to his big brother because he had bet with him that he was male and had lost  
The happiest to the baby girl of all was his father Salvatore, still shocked that he said all red  
"Oww, how cute she is..."  
Peter, happy for the mission accomplished, suddenly took off his right shoe and pointed his big toe on her  
"This, is, Peter!" and he strangely cut the umbilical cord with his big toe and amazingly exclaimed  
"Mistletoe"  
After settled her, he gave the newborn to her mother, who cried for joy to see her so happy and healthy, and thanked everyone  
"Thank you dad, thank you very much for everything, and thanks to you love for giving me this immense joy, without you I wouldn't be here, and thanks also to all of you others"  
"I'm the happiest woman in the worl...!"  
"Shut up!" but to blocking her was a patient in the next room ruining the dramatic atmosphere.  
There were the final credits of the series, and after those, the show continued with Peter's friends who arrived in the room running  
"Guys, you've arrived" Peter said, hugging them  
"Hey, um, Peter, sorry, how's your daughter?" asked the mustachioed curious for Meg's fate  
"She's fine, even my nephew Melanie" hearing him, the three were amazed and exclaimed aloud  
"Melanie?!"  
Meanwhile, the two new parents didn't yet know how to describe the situation that was there  
"It's not fantastic, love?"  
"Yes sweetey, it's a honey, just like you"  
"Oh, come here..." and they kissed passionately and their little baby winked at the screen and then appeared the following sentence

 **THE END**

 **...**

"Oh, come on...!" exclaimed a Stewie who was exasperated about why this ignoble show never ended.

 **Now the credits...**

 **Family Guy and his characters are property of Fox Broadcasting Television and Seth MacFarlane ©**

 **Salvatore Faminoso, Mistress Gem and other OCs are property of savior94 than is me ©**

 **Italian Series(The Original) now only in Wattpad was written by savior94 than is me ©**

 **English Series(than you read it) was written** **by savior94 than is me ©**

 **Idea of writing and create the characters by savior94's mind and his love of Meg Griffin(yes!), and a big thanks for all of you than read this, and sorry for the waiting, it's just only some emotional problems... but better late than never, yeah?  
**

 **If you want other episodes, just favorite, comment and follow, let's get Family Guy back again ;)**

 **Bye for now people, savior94!**


End file.
